Some people are never going to like Memphis, for the reasons mentioned earlier. And they are the most vocal, by far, over the people that accept that it's not perfect to live here, but are pretty happy nonetheless. That's why so many are commuters. To each their own.
I like it, because I am home almost every day of the month, every month. I am a permanent reserve guy, typically working about 5-8 days per month, usually a couple of these are airport standbys, the rest usually out and backs. It's some life!
I hate commuting, and I love being at home 20 minutes after I leave the AOC. Got a nice place in a nice suburb, and life is good. I'd rather deal with mild winters / hot summers than the other way around. While Memphis itself is not much to look at, there are some great areas in Arkansas to check out if you like the water or the outdoorsy stuff. And Eastern TN is as beautiful as anything I have seen in this country.
The traffic on the 240 loop is bad at times and in certain areas, but not when we go to work. It's usually very predictable, one way slowdowns on 240 going to/from the 'burbs for morning / evening rush hours. What large city doesn't have traffic issues? I haven't found one yet. The drivers are far worse than any other city I have lived in, however. No joke, they are really bad.
And as far as living near the trains, we know some people that live right next the tracks in Germantown. It sounds crazy, but it is really not very bad - they only blow their whistles at the major intersections, see. If you live well away from these intersections (like they do), all you get is the low frequency sound of the train, which you can barely even hear in the house. Even sitting outside, I didn't think it was bad. IMO, it's no more of an annoyance than a jet passing overhead. It's the price one pays for living in G-Town or Collierville, which IMO is the nicest area you can live in while still being close to the good stuff (Parks, shopping, restaurants).
Cordova has nice areas, but because of the annexation, the market there has fallen flat on its face. Homes are on the market for years (yes, that's right, years). It may never recover - some realtors won't even take listings from Cordova because it is so hard to sell there....But man, you can get a lot of house / yard for your money. Very convenient location to the mall, Shelby Farms, etc.
The thing about Germantown is that it can never be annexed by Memphis, and they have their own local police, have very strict code enforcement, and in general their properties hold their value very well. I am not sure if Collierville is immune to annexation, but at this time it is not annexed.
If you want to make some money on your home, go to the Mud Island or South Bluffs area. Prices have been on an absolute tear over there for a while, and I bet the trend will continue for a few years. Don't expect to get much, if any yard or a great deal on a house. You'll pay Memphis city tax, always on the rise, and you'll pay association fees. They are packed in like sardines. The drive to the airport is super easy. And you can make money quick on your home.
Olive Branch MS is really worth looking into - nice community overall. You are away from the good things in Memphis (Shelby Farms, nightlife, the mall, restaurants) and the bad (crime, corruption in gov't). It's growing quickly, and is stocked with suburban staples like Walmart and Home Depot, etc. Pay MS state income tax, but lower property taxes. Decent public schools, so you don't have to pay for private school, like many do in TN. For some, this is a perfect situation.
That's just what I think - as you can see, there are a lot of opinions on the subject. Good luck, whatever you choose!