Family Time?

[Whirlwind]

I'm curious as to how those of you whom are married, or soon will be, as to how you deal with the time away from home and family?

6 months ago, I was sure that I was on my way to an airline, but then my g/f and I got serious, she's starting her own practice here, and now the idea of being away 6 days a week no longer holds any appeal to me (or her).

So now I'm thinking that I'll just stay doing the charter thing while looking for a corporate job in town, but of course I really don't have the flight time to get a decent corporate job either.

Anyone else here in my shoes? I find the whole experience frustrating, and I'd like to hear from someone else going through the same thing.

 

[Gulfstream 200]

is this a wife or girlfriend?

A wife can support an "at home husband" and be bound legally, a girlfriend will throw your loser a$$ out when you sit around worried about leaving her for the day...

Lose the skirt, pack a box of tissues, and concentrate on YOUR OWN career - or your relationship is doomed.

 

[Longhorn]

I know the feeling. I have been married for just over 1 year. My wife is very understanding and we work together to make our schedules work. But....As much as I love her, a little ME time away from home is nice. I am not talking about 4-6 days but a nice 2 or 3 day trip usually gives me time away from the Honey-Do list. I can read a book or catch up on personal stuff that normally I could not do or would not like to do when I am home. The other important thing to remember is this, and I am not trying to tell you how to live your life, she is your girlfriend, not your wife. As much as I don’t mean to sound like an ass, unless you are married or engaged, there is no reason to bypass an opportunity with an airline because your girlfriend does not like you being gone for a few days. I bypassed a regional job in 97 because my girlfriend at the time did not want me to commute or do three day trips away from home. She cheated on me 1 year later and I missed a great opportunity. Like I said, I am not telling you how to live your life. We all have decisions to make but unless you are sure that this is the woman you will be with in marriage and not just a girlfriend, I would do what is best for you until you are in a position to do what’s best for the both of you....but that’s just my .02 cents.

B

 

[dispatchguy]

Even though its a little different, I am a commuting dispatcher; also gone 4-5 days a week.

I had a couple of interviews last month, for a dispatcher position at one airline, and an ATC Coordinator at another airline; both wouldve required me to commute. My wife (married almost 6 years), pitches a royal fit about not wanting me to commute again, and gets all emotional... She says that she wants stability, and the airline biz, well... She's 41, I am 37.

I have to cancel the interviews; which, well, I wasnt a pleasure to live with over the Christmas holiday, for where we live there is simply nowhere where I can work and bring in the money, and feel good about what I do.

This past week, I get another interview invitation for an airline a couple of states away for a dispatcher position, and I simply tell her that I am taking the interview; and she doesnt stop me. Her position is that she now knows how much being a dispatcher, and being a good one, mean to me; and she isnt going to hold me back. Yeah, I would prefer to live and work in the same city, I do like being home every day, but she has a great job and relocation simply isnt an option.

Like everyone else - concentrate on your career; aviation isnt a career; its a lifestyle...

 

[jergar999]

I just got an air ambulance job. I can't seem to get out of the house enough now, only did 2 overnights in 2004.

 

[Freddie Spencer]

She cheated on me 1 year later

B

Hope you forgive but she was pretty good that night...

 

[Longhorn]

Wow, you are about the 10th person to tell me that. Man.....love is blind. Oh well, hope she was good. lol

 

[User546]

I can relate a lot with Longhorn's post. Now keep in mind my schedule usually consists of 2-3 up to 8 day trips, however I think the principle is the same.

I have a great wife and a great marriage, but I really look forward to my couple/few days away from home. Just ME time like the other poster put it. Get's me out of the house, away from the responsibilities, and I treat it like a mini vacation everytime I go out. Your doing what you love anyways, so it's not like your really working!

The key to this though is your partner. Is she supportive of your career, does she understand what it entails being a pilot? Does her career interfere with your relationship any bit? If she really loves you and wants to be with you, she should come to grips with the reality of your chosen career/lifestyle and support you with it. Maybe you should reassure her that the "airline schedule" which will be crappy at first, will more then pay off in a few years.

But as the other poster said, without her being your fiance or wife, I wouldn't let her dictate what your future will be just yet. Sometimes you only get one oppurtunity to do certain things in life, and you'd sure hate to look back one day if shes no longer around and your stuck in a job you hate, when you could've been on to bigger and better things.

 

[On Your Six]

Trust me - after you get married you'll want to be gone for 6 days+....

 

[wahoo250]

I'll put in my 2 cents...i left a very good paying corp job for a job that your schedule is known and each month with the company it gets better. huge pay cut but it will eventually be better in the long run. First year regional pay is horrible, but it gets better. one word of advice...if you choose an airline make sure you like the location of bases, your going to be there for a long time. In my oppinion thats more important than upgrade time. no big number of pilots will be getting hired in the next couple of years anyway and if your starting out... well it'll be a while
also, if you live in base sitting reserve is cake. if they call they call if they dont they dont. I spend most of my time at the gym and have the days off I want. I'm trying to say a lot of time for the girlfriend if you live where you work.