Dumb Questions do exist

[400A]

My brother who is a United Capt. Told me that he was on one of the people movers at IAD and while he sat there with his coat, Hat with United Logo, Wings on his Chest, Flight-bag betweeen his legs with a CREW tag, a gentleman ask "are you a pilot" He just laughed and said "nope, I am a cop!"

For me, at least every other time I am at Embassy Suites at TEB, someone ask me to carry their luggage.

 

[jetwash]

I love it when you are sitting in the back of the plane and passengers ask you shouldn't you be sitting up front?

I tell them the captain has not been feeling well lately and that I am on board just in case.

 

[Guitar Guy]

I actually had a few funny questions from United pilots the last time I went through ORD in uniform. The first UA FO, after I said "good morning" to him, asked if I knew where Ops was. I explained that I was with NetJets and didn't know where United's Ops office was. Then, a little later that same morning, on a United flight, the FO came back to check the wings for snow and ice. As he turned to walk back up front, he saw me and asked "Are you mainline?" Again, I had to explain that I wasn't with UA.

 

[learflyer]

Once while riding in the back with a paid ticket in hand (in partial uniform), one of the fa's whispered in my ear as to where the cockpit door key was. I was going to tell her I was just a lowly frac pilot, but just said "ok, thanks".

 

[bailey3083]

Standing outside airline terminal at FLL smokin a cig had a guy pull up with his BMW open the truck and start throwin his bags on the curb with the " Hey I am on UAL to ORD could you check these while I park my car?" Gave me 5 bucks and drove off. So I took the 5 bucks and walked away.

Inflight from PHX to FLL had a young lady say " Arent you suppose to be up front?" My response " No" and kept walking to the back.

In the terminal at EWR had a guy walk up ( as all of these I am in uniform) " Can you help me?" my answer " No" and kept walking.

Finally the best in ORD about to get on a TED flight to FLL which was full and had 7 UAL and UAL Express people trying to Non Rev home. As I walked into the gate area they see the uniform and 3 of them came up to me asking if I was Non Reving home(I never said yes or no). A very stern older UAL Capt goes " Well there are 3 seats and I am the most senior here then my wife then John over there so I suggest you might wanna check American." So when they called boarding I walked up and handed my ticket to the agent the UAL Capt comes running up yelling " He cant get on I am the most senior and he has to wait for me!" The gate agent replied " Sir he has a ticket he can get on anytime he wants" I turned around smiled and got on to find out later none of the Non Revs got on.

Bailey

 

[FraxJockey]

I love it when some A-retentive A-hole comes up and chews you out for not having the proper uniform, not having your hat on, tie, etc.... I'd tell them to kiss my a$$ and show them my ID so they can write the number down. The look on their face when they find out I'm not AA and I show them my ticket...priceless...the look on their face when I ask them their name to report their A$$....even better. Granted this doesn't happen any more, but oh the memories.

 

[se1776]

At Wal Mart in uniform lady asked us where do you keep your towels? My FO told her, in my bathroom, where do keep your?

Walt-Mart in Uniform OOKKKKK

 

[brokeflyer]

Some retard comes up to me....."Hey, put my bags in the van I wanna go to the Crown Plaza".......So i get on the van and left his ******************** on the curb......Its fun being rude sometimes.

 

[Diesel]

I got berated from a United captain for not wearing my "cover" while standing in line at applebees in the terminal. He went on about in this time we should show profesionalism and that without my "cover" I was not displaying that. All i kept thinking was WTF is a cover. Then my partner turned around and said, "hats are for losers." you would have thought the guy got punched in the gut.

Later that same day we are still waiting on our flight. Everytime the airline was announcing it was delayed we're smiling bigger and bigger. So this united captain comes up to us and says whats the delay, i've got to get to such and such to fly a 777. Then points to the other pilot who was supposed to be his reserve guy on the same trip. Then told us to watch his seat and walked off.

Eventually he came back and told us, "you look like some enterprising young men why don't you hop up there and get our clearance so we can get out of here." My partner who was 1-0 for the day told the guy we weren't enterprising and we definetly weren't go getters so therefor we aren't going to get the clearance anytime soon. Had a good chuckle over that one too.

 

[NJA bound]

I got berated from a United captain for not wearing my "cover" while standing in line at applebees in the terminal. He went on about in this time we should show profesionalism and that without my "cover" I was not displaying that. All i kept thinking was WTF is a cover. Then my partner turned around and said, "hats are for losers." you would have thought the guy got punched in the gut.

The cover thing is hilarious

I start cracking up everytime I see a pilot wearing a hat indoors, outside is a different story, in the military the rule is cover on outside, and cover off when you come inside, unless you are under arms than cover on inside. Your cover story sounds like the BE99 captain that told the tower he was a HEAVY, bet it is the same dude, LOL, here's the link http://forums.flightinfo.com/showthread.php?p=1244584#post1244584

 

[grandma]

People always ask me why I smell so bad.

 

[captain dad]

What is it?

It's an iterrogative statement to test knowledge. But that's not important right now.

HA HA!!!!:laugh: