Dumb Questions do exist

[glasspilot]

You know how when you're traveling in uniform the general public seems to think you're an information booth? The worst I've been asked is if I know the country code for New Zealand and if I have change for a $20.

I figured ya'll must have a million of these so I'm starting this thread to get a list together. I'm hoping for a couple of pages of one liners of the dumbest questions you've got from the public while in uniform.

(I know alot of guys don't travel in uniform for this reason. You don't have to post that)

 

[JetProp]

I was walking through BOS one day to catch a flight home and a lady runs up to me all frantic like and says "Sir! Sir! Whare's my car?!" Me: I dunno, there's a nice state patrolman over there, perhaps he can help you. Then I went on my merry way.

 

[Dilligaff]

Excuse me, sir. Can you check your passenger list and tell me if my sister is on the flight from Manchester?

 

[CherryBomb]

Q: What are you?

A: Uh, human?


Very vague question, but I've been asked this several times.

 

[Club ORD FO]

I love the "do you work here?"

Never sure how to answer that one...

 

[hammer2]

At Wal Mart in uniform lady asked us where do you keep your towels? My FO told her, in my bathroom, where do keep your?

 

[XBI]

On a through flight stopover in OKC in about 1979 on a 727, an older gentleman asked me where the men's room was. I directed him to the foreward lav. Before he entered, he turned and asked me if he could flush while the plane was in the station.

 

[bigbird]

I was sitting in the right seat getting the aircraft ready and a passenger comes up to the cockpit. She looks in and asks me if I could get her a water with ice. I looked at her like she was insane then she says, "Im sorry I know youre a pilot and getting the plane ready, but the flight attendant is busy." I told her I would pass her request on to the flight attendant if I remember.

 

[nyboilermaker]

Whenever I seem to have my hat on, I get people asking me to take their bags up to their rooms.

The tips are great!

 

[flagshipper]

Sitting in the AUS terminal one day waiting for a flight an older lady starting ask me about my computer and what I was doing. I told her I was on the internet. She asked me where she could get a CD with the internet on it. I thought about explaining but instead I blurted out "Best Buy" and she left.

 

[learflyer]

What's worse is being in a hotel elevator in uniform with other people in it. You can just feel them looking at you. checking out your id's and stuff. And then the inevetible: "Are you flying us today?"

 

[blueridge71]

Whle deadheading on US Airways three different people thought I was a Flight Attendant.

Can I get a pillow?
can I have a bottle of water?
Why are we delayed?

 

[ozpilot]

My favourite is when I'm airlining to work in uniform. On a couple of occasions I've gotten stuck by the door and had to wait while other passengers deplane. Theres always a couple who say goodbye to me on the way out. I just respond with "Your welcome, thanks for flying with us today!". Cracks up the flight attendant :laugh:

 

[sweptwingz]

What's worse is being in a hotel elevator in uniform with other people in it. You can just feel them looking at you. checking out your id's and stuff. And then the inevetible: "Are you flying us today?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look very sternly at them, and mutter with a thick Arabic accent:

"Soon, very soon all western fools such as you shall perish in flame,
Allah Ackbar!!!"

It works GREAT!!!

 

[Pervis]

One FAQ when I'm going to work is "shouldn't you be up front?" I respond that we are testing a new auto pilot. The look is priceless.

 

[400A]

My brother who is a United Capt. Told me that he was on one of the people movers at IAD and while he sat there with his coat, Hat with United Logo, Wings on his Chest, Flight-bag betweeen his legs with a CREW tag, a gentleman ask "are you a pilot" He just laughed and said "nope, I am a cop!"

For me, at least every other time I am at Embassy Suites at TEB, someone ask me to carry their luggage.

 

[jetwash]

I love it when you are sitting in the back of the plane and passengers ask you shouldn't you be sitting up front?

I tell them the captain has not been feeling well lately and that I am on board just in case.

 

[Guitar Guy]

I actually had a few funny questions from United pilots the last time I went through ORD in uniform. The first UA FO, after I said "good morning" to him, asked if I knew where Ops was. I explained that I was with NetJets and didn't know where United's Ops office was. Then, a little later that same morning, on a United flight, the FO came back to check the wings for snow and ice. As he turned to walk back up front, he saw me and asked "Are you mainline?" Again, I had to explain that I wasn't with UA.

 

[learflyer]

Once while riding in the back with a paid ticket in hand (in partial uniform), one of the fa's whispered in my ear as to where the cockpit door key was. I was going to tell her I was just a lowly frac pilot, but just said "ok, thanks".

 

[bailey3083]

Standing outside airline terminal at FLL smokin a cig had a guy pull up with his BMW open the truck and start throwin his bags on the curb with the " Hey I am on UAL to ORD could you check these while I park my car?" Gave me 5 bucks and drove off. So I took the 5 bucks and walked away.

Inflight from PHX to FLL had a young lady say " Arent you suppose to be up front?" My response " No" and kept walking to the back.

In the terminal at EWR had a guy walk up ( as all of these I am in uniform) " Can you help me?" my answer " No" and kept walking.

Finally the best in ORD about to get on a TED flight to FLL which was full and had 7 UAL and UAL Express people trying to Non Rev home. As I walked into the gate area they see the uniform and 3 of them came up to me asking if I was Non Reving home(I never said yes or no). A very stern older UAL Capt goes " Well there are 3 seats and I am the most senior here then my wife then John over there so I suggest you might wanna check American." So when they called boarding I walked up and handed my ticket to the agent the UAL Capt comes running up yelling " He cant get on I am the most senior and he has to wait for me!" The gate agent replied " Sir he has a ticket he can get on anytime he wants" I turned around smiled and got on to find out later none of the Non Revs got on.

Bailey