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Dream Job!

G21Agoose

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2004
Posts
409
Total Time
.
PILOTS WANTED:

Pilots wanted for excellent family orientated company. Company believes in putting the pilots first. We offer an excellent salary and benefits package that is very competitive. Since we are a great company, we can demand the following qualifications, NO EXCEPTIONS:

• 15,000 hours total time, and 2000 hours in each of the following aircraft- G-IV G-V G-350/450/550, Global Express, Falcon 900EX, and the nostalgic Lear 23
• Must be typed and Part 135 current in ALL of the following aircraft: G-IV G-V G-350/450/550, Global Express, Falcon 900EX and the Lear 23
• A&P and IA with 13+ years management experience
• If you are not typed in each of these aircraft, you must, at your own expense, obtain each type rating. I know these will add up to over $200K, but this company is worth it! I am sure Simuflite and Flight Safety will cut you a deal
• You will be required to be on call 24/7, probably no days off, unless each plane is down for maintenance at the same time. Average days working per month: 30
• Must be willing to fix aircraft on the road, that’s why you need you’re A&P. If you can’t fix it, you must fly the broken plane home with no regard to safety. You must do so after your 14 hour duty day has expired since you can legally “91 it home”
• We offer an excellent compensation package, starting salary is 38,000 per year! That is more than I paid for the whole company before the war. You must relocate to with in 5 minutes of Van Nuys Airport, where the average home price is $800K. Matching 401K plan will begin after 5 years of employment, after that we will generously contribute 1/10 of 1% to our, oops I mean your retirement. Since McDonald’s has reinstated the dollar menu, we can offer you $9 a day per diem to eat. The CEO’s Yacht needs a new sound system so there won’t be any medical benefits for several years.
• You probably won’t ever fly anything but the Lear 23. We want you typed in all of these aircraft in case the owner’s son wants another day off.

Please submit gold leafed-letter (nothing other than gold! If it’s silver, it will be discarded because I hate silver!) resumes to the following address:
4321 Bendover Drive, Van Nuys, CA 91407, ATTN: Your Highness Pilot
Or, you can email them to: dreamjob@reammeair.com
Please put your time in type of each aircraft in the body of your email. If you don’t qualify, your resume will be discarded. If your email gets picked up by our spam filter, well that’s too bad for you. We will probably get over 6,000 resumes for this job, so we can be a little picky. Good luck and have fun at training in Dallas. Call us when you get back so we can put you right to work, don’t even bother going home, just come straight to the hangar for assignment!
 

con-pilot

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2002
Posts
13,296
Total Time
21,000
MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is my dream job.

But dang the bad luck, my computer just blew up, I can't get on line, I'm sitting in China and have no INTERNET connection.

I guess I'll just have to pass up this fantastic job opportunity. :bawling:

Dang the bad luck!
 

AA717driver

A simpler time...
Joined
Mar 27, 2003
Posts
4,911
Total Time
+/-13k
That's a good one, Goose! You must be really bored. You laying over in Ulan Bator? :D TC
 

blzr

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2002
Posts
1,502
Total Time
5500
No, the Dream job would be to get paid $200k/year to be on call to fly the bosses superjet-5000 and never get called into the airport.

Too bad suckas' I dun got dat gig!
 

G21Agoose

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2004
Posts
409
Total Time
.
Arrrgghhh! Need I remind you sir, that many consider the pun to be the lowest form of humor?

...pretty funny though.

My apologies to anyone offended by my ill conceived puns. :(
 

G21Agoose

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2004
Posts
409
Total Time
.
My apologies to anyone offended by my ill conceived puns. :(

However, I would like to announce that I have decided to write a guide to Mastur, rather than Ulan, Bator. For years I have loved the area- before I was married I spent a lot of time around Mastur and found it a most hospitable (if sometimes lonely) place.
Some say Mastur is too far off the beaten track, but I must assure them I have beaten that track many times and have always found it most a most satisfying of destinations.
I look forward to grabbing hold of this project and coming up with..............well my publishers won't allow me to go further at this time.
I'll keep you all updated.

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it."
Vincent van Gogh
 

honeycomb

I'm happy to be here Boss
Joined
Feb 16, 2006
Posts
231
Total Time
9,999+
PILOTS WANTED:

Pilots wanted for excellent family orientated company. Company believes in putting the pilots first. We offer an excellent salary and benefits package that is very competitive. Since we are a great company, we can demand the following qualifications, NO EXCEPTIONS:

• 15,000 hours total time, and 2000 hours in each of the following aircraft- G-IV G-V G-350/450/550, Global Express, Falcon 900EX, and the nostalgic Lear 23
• Must be typed and Part 135 current in ALL of the following aircraft: G-IV G-V G-350/450/550, Global Express, Falcon 900EX and the Lear 23
• A&P and IA with 13+ years management experience
• If you are not typed in each of these aircraft, you must, at your own expense, obtain each type rating. I know these will add up to over $200K, but this company is worth it! I am sure Simuflite and Flight Safety will cut you a deal
• You will be required to be on call 24/7, probably no days off, unless each plane is down for maintenance at the same time. Average days working per month: 30
• Must be willing to fix aircraft on the road, that’s why you need you’re A&P. If you can’t fix it, you must fly the broken plane home with no regard to safety. You must do so after your 14 hour duty day has expired since you can legally “91 it home”
• We offer an excellent compensation package, starting salary is 38,000 per year! That is more than I paid for the whole company before the war. You must relocate to with in 5 minutes of Van Nuys Airport, where the average home price is $800K. Matching 401K plan will begin after 5 years of employment, after that we will generously contribute 1/10 of 1% to our, oops I mean your retirement. Since McDonald’s has reinstated the dollar menu, we can offer you $9 a day per diem to eat. The CEO’s Yacht needs a new sound system so there won’t be any medical benefits for several years.
• You probably won’t ever fly anything but the Lear 23. We want you typed in all of these aircraft in case the owner’s son wants another day off.

Please submit gold leafed-letter (nothing other than gold! If it’s silver, it will be discarded because I hate silver!) resumes to the following address:
4321 Bendover Drive, Van Nuys, CA 91407, ATTN: Your Highness Pilot
Or, you can email them to: dreamjob@reammeair.com
Please put your time in type of each aircraft in the body of your email. If you don’t qualify, your resume will be discarded. If your email gets picked up by our spam filter, well that’s too bad for you. We will probably get over 6,000 resumes for this job, so we can be a little picky. Good luck and have fun at training in Dallas. Call us when you get back so we can put you right to work, don’t even bother going home, just come straight to the hangar for assignment!

That sir is a masterpiece ... :beer:
 
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