Diarrhea in a freighter?

[insomniac99]

I almost blasted into a pizza box the other night. It was a close one

 

[CaptainMark]

funny story...flying a LR-35 full of bankckecks from BKL to ATL..coplilot has a stomach problem..goes in the back and dumps in a bag of checks..we land long..he opens the door and throws the bag out and it wraps around the left gear (unknowing) taxi in and we get out..kid who unloads the planes runs up and says " hey you guys..this bag fell out of the plane " he holds it up and it ruptures all over him (probably brake heat put a hole in the plastic)..it was ugly

 

[Lostdog65]

In a Baron, over a fire, in Arizona. About 2 hours into a 3 hour shift. No tankers and I gotta pee...like right now. Find the water bottle that's still full. Depressurize the plane (I'm at like 10K), open the tiny window and empty the bottle. Autopilot on (keep reaching up to turn heading bug so as to stay over the fire), unzip the Nomex, drop trou and...couldn't go. Took a couple of turns to get started then nearly couldn't stop as the Aquafina bottle filled to the top. Finally pinched it off.

Now what? I've got a bottle full of pee and I still need to go. Thought about pouring it out the window but knew it streak all over the side of one of the USFS's finest red and white Baron. That and I was giving the plane to another pilot (Lead 5-9) in about 2 hours. Finally held it as the tanker showed up and had to go back to work.

Got back to Mesa and showed Lead 5-9 what he nearly had to clean off the side of the plane. He laughed.

Flying freight outta OAK to MYV. Over Travis had the urge. Nothing to urge in cept my hat. Took it off, positioned it over the fuel selectors between the seats and proceeded to drop trou. About then, Travis advises me of a KC-135 coming off the base right at me, contact Sac Appch, have a nice day. Pinched it in and ran high power to MYV. Stopped, got out, told UPS guy to go ahead and unload, ran to the FBO only to find the one-holer men's room occupied.

Ladies room was open. Woman banged on the door as I remained quiet. When I left...the smell was wilting the leaves on the tree outside the small window but damn...I felt much better.

Eric

 

[Lostdog65]

Juanita's must not be as potent as LaPinuata

La Pinata in OAK/Alameda! Brings back memories of late nights fr8dawgin', eatin' the big burrito, sleepin' in the back of a 402 then stinkin' out KaiserAir's john at 5:15 in the morning...

Ahh...the good old days!

Eric

 

[NorthShore]

Only one good time to get Diarrhea.


When you cell mate makes his move.

 

[Mr Biggelsworth]

You all need to go to this site and read this article..... this guy is my hero. And he introduced me to my new girl, the 1999 Miss Chernobyl. A'int she pretty????
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

Oh yeah, it reminded me of the reason this thread was posted.

 

[SpatialD]

You all need to go to this site and read this article..... this guy is my hero. And he introduced me to my new girl, the 1999 Miss Chernobyl. A'int she pretty????
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

Oh yeah, it reminded me of the reason this thread was posted.

uke:​

Yes, the puke reflex is pretty strong - I came close myself. Well, my drink came out of my nose anyway because I was laughing so hard. It's a terrible, shameful thing - but the way he tells it... priceless.

 

[ATRCAPT]

This whole freakin' industry makes me have to take a dump...

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

You all need to go to this site and read this article..... this guy is my hero. And he introduced me to my new girl, the 1999 Miss Chernobyl. A'int she pretty????
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

Oh yeah, it reminded me of the reason this thread was posted.

I used to think I was one of the most helpless sickos alive... Now I know better.

Thank you!

That was very funny sh*t... Pun intended!

 

[usav8r]

You all need to go to this site and read this article..... this guy is my hero. And he introduced me to my new girl, the 1999 Miss Chernobyl. A'int she pretty????
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

Oh yeah, it reminded me of the reason this thread was posted.

Thanks for the best laugh I have had in years! Tears were flowing!