Delta Tie?

[buscap]

According to Socrates, all good jokes are offensive to someone.

Just don't make fun of Snoopy. That's going too far!!!!

 

[Kalifornia]

So 3 random old guys are at a bar and start chatting about kids. Guy number one states his disappointment with his son because he's in prison for dealing drugs and other crimes. Guy number two says he's really distraught that his son has chosen to be a full time gay male prostitute. Guy number 3 is simply too embarrassed to let the other two know his son is a pilot for Mesa Airlines, and simply states, "I have no son".

 

[dvmthwsvan]

What's the difference between a condom and a Delta cockpit?

-A condom only holds one d!ck

 

[dvmthwsvan]

A woman was looking at the animals on display in a pet store. A man
walked in and said to the shopkeeper “I’ll take a Ramp Monkey, please.”
The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. He put a collar
and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, “That’ll be $5,000.”
The man paid and left with the monkey.
The surprised woman went to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did
that one cost so much?”
The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that’s a Ramp Monkey. He can drive
tractors, load cargo and guide aircraft into gates. All with no back talk
or complaints. He’s well worth the money.”
The woman then spotted a monkey in another cage. “That one’s even
more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?”
“Oh, that one” replied the shopkeeper. “That’s a “Flight Attendant Monkey,
she’s attractive and personable. She can serve drinks and meals, and even
evacuate passengers from an aircraft in an emergency. A very useful monkey
indeed.”
The woman looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a
$50,000 price tag. The shocked woman exclaimed, “This one costs more
than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?”
“Well,” said the shopkeeper, “I’ve never actually seen him do anything
except drink beer and play with his d!ck. But his papers say he’s a Pilot Monkey.”

 

[RobCat]

How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?

7, 1 actually to screw in the light bulb, 6 to talk about how good it was.