Chuck Norris?...<yawn>
The Bauer File:
If you are reading this, Jack Bauer has spared your life.
Jack Bauer doesn't use Viagra, Viagra uses Jack Bauer.
As a Kid on Halloween Jack Bauer was given pennies instead of candy by a neighbor, that neighbor? Jimmy Hoffa.
Jack Bauer killed J.R.
Sonny Bono once cut Jack Bauer off while skiing. Once.
At railroad crossings, trains stop for Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer knows what you did in Vegas.
The government started Daylight Savings Time so Jack Bauer could rest.
Jack Bauer doesn't get haircuts, he just simply tells his hair not to grow.
When Jesus gets scared he prays to Jack Bauer.
Last years Tsunami was not a result of an earthquake like reported, however, was a result of Jack Bauer entering a cannon ball competition
http://www.jackvschuck.com/