ChimpJet (RJ) Retirement Ceremony

[crashpad]

I was sittng here in my posh hotel room enjoying a nice long layover, and wondering about guys that retire from the commuter airlines. What kind of ceremony do they get when they pull up to the gate?
We all know the big boys get the fire trucks, parties, bonuses and laid....
but what does the little guy get who is forced to retire from an RJ?
Here are some ideas, feel free to add you own:

1). The rampers "whip it out" and whizz arcs over the j-line.

2). A big sewer pipe is attached to the door thus fullfilling the pilot's goal of flying a plane that uses a jetbridge.

3). There's a 'training contract' burning ceremony at the gate, complete with Wheat Thins and a sixpack of LaCroix.

4). The Chief Pilot is 'busy', but the 26 year old assistant chief pilot slaps you on the back and says "Sucks to be you", before telling you to turn in your flashlight and manuals so you don't get $500 deducted from your last $1,650.oo paycheck.

 

[LAMESAUCE]

5). The rampers take the lav trucks and give you a good spray when coming in to the parking spot. Then, crew scheduling calls you and tells you that you have another round trip to do.

 

[LearLove]

5). crew scheduling calls you and tells you that you have another round trip to do.

not exactly, but something very similar happened to a PDT capt on his last day before retirement a few years ago.

 

[Mav204]

No at PDT you would DH into base after getting extended becuase your now in 30/7

 

[Stifler's Mom]

I believe ASA actually did or attempted to do this to a retiring ATR Captain.

 

[WMUSIGPI]

Scheduling junior mans you to do 2 legs that put you overnight in a different hub and have to deadhead home the next day. That same day they displace 30 captains in your plane and furlough 60 at the bottom of the seniority list. Then you get home to find out your 401K match was never really matched so you have half of what you thought you had to retire on. Just for kicks that same day the stock market tanks and you loose half of that. All because you flipped the bird the other day. (sorry for the Bloodhound Gang ref)......











But you don't care cause you hit the powerball jackpot for $300mil, buy the airline and fire every one of incompetent clowns running the place. Then tell all the schedulers they are being junior manned and will all be working a 15 hour shift their next day off.

Yes I am currently very bored.

 

[Dodge]

Scheduling junior mans you to do 2 legs that put you overnight in a different hub and have to deadhead home the next day. That same day they displace 30 captains in your plane and furlough 60 at the bottom of the seniority list. Then you get home to find out your 401K match was never really matched so you have half of what you thought you had to retire on. Just for kicks that same day the stock market tanks and you loose half of that. All because you flipped the bird the other day. (sorry for the Bloodhound Gang ref)......

That's pretty funny stuff. Too bad it actually happened.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Does anyone actually make it to retirement before bailing or losing their medical. It's gotta be a slim figure.

They proably deserve a more grand salute then at the majors, after all, look at how much MORE they had to endure with a career at the regionals!

 

[McNugget]

We had an RJ captain retire in ORD at Atlantic Coast. He got the full fire truck salute pulling into the terminal on his last day. Pretty cool.

 

[temcgrew]

An escort from the gate to the other side of security so someone can take your company I.D., usually a secretary.

 

[McNugget]

An escort from the gate to the other side of security so someone can take your company I.D., usually a secretary.

Funny! Would suck if you had to turn your ID in to the intern!

 

[Terrain Terrain]

not exactly, but something very similar happened to a PDT capt on his last day before retirement a few years ago.

I know who/what you are talking about. What a crapfest. For a captian that NEVER called in sick for like 30 years. This place sucks.

PDT is doomed. Run, run, as fast as you can from PDT.

The managment is like a bunch of drunk retards trying to play poker in vegas. Way screwed. and lear I know you are mainline, but really mainline has taken some huge craps on PDT, you have been here you know.

 

[wmuflyguy]

Funny! Would suck if you had to turn your ID in to the intern!

Seen it happen.

 

[j41driver]

We had an RJ captain retire in ORD at Atlantic Coast. He got the full fire truck salute pulling into the terminal on his last day. Pretty cool.

I saw the "full fire truck salute" in IAD for one of our J32 CA's. IIRC, he was a C5 instructor prior to joining ACA.

 

[arthompson]

I saw the pictures of that when I was at ACA

 

[ATTCS]

I'll find out what happens in 9 months and 1 day....I'll let ya know...

 

[1x1]

When you shut down for the last time, you turn on your cell phone and find a message from the Fed Ex hiring dept. offering you that job - Oh ******************** your 60. Too bad.

 

[DrewBlows]

I've seen three retirements at three different airports for three different companies (that I can think of). Two 328JETs and a CRJ. Full fire truck salute each time, and I got chills each time. I think it would still be a cool ceremony even if it were a beech 1900 under the spray. It's a nice tradition that I'm sure dates way back in the days of commercial aviation (I'd be interested to find out the origin of this particular tradition.

 

[urflyingme?!]

I'm going to start calling in retiremnts from a payphone for myself!

 

[another cfii]

Heck, the way they build these barbie jets, i don't know if it'll withstand the water spray from the fire trucks.... may cause some severe hull damage!!

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

I've seen three retirements at three different airports for three different companies (that I can think of). Two 328JETs and a CRJ. Full fire truck salute each time, and I got chills each time. I think it would still be a cool ceremony even if it were a beech 1900 under the spray. It's a nice tradition that I'm sure dates way back in the days of commercial aviation (I'd be interested to find out the origin of this particular tradition.

I believe it may have nautical roots, or at least a nautical equivilant. I have been present at a couple of ship retirements where a fire boat salute was involved. In addition, a change of command ceremony, which coincided with the ship's return to port, also included the fire boat salute. Nice touch.

 

[Gorilla]

I've never understood the allure of "the salute." Why drag the fire department guys out to do something so unconstructive? Who wants a plane load of strangers applauding or doing something stupid?

I'm already planning on telling my chief pilots "NO cake, NO picture, no nothing. I'm going to run as fast and as far as I can from the airport the moment I land."

 

[91100 100 set]

I was the FO on an ALG guy's retirement flight. 34 years. He got the fire trucks, a special ATIS message, a little shingdig at the gate, family on his final flight, the whole deal. Very nice. From what I understand, he got out just in time.