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Child custody/visitation

jetstream

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I am going through a divorce. I have two children ages 15 and 12 (girl and boy). The main sticking point now is a visitation schedule. I hope to get 12-14 days a month with the kids.

Obviously the standard schedules don't fit well for a pilot so I'm looking for examples of how others have done this and how well it worked out.

Any help is much appreciated.
 

WSurf

The Smack Down!
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I am going through a divorce. I have two children ages 15 and 12 (girl and boy). The main sticking point now is a visitation schedule. I hope to get 12-14 days a month with the kids.

Obviously the standard schedules don't fit well for a pilot so I'm looking for examples of how others have done this and how well it worked out.

Any help is much appreciated.

First off Sorry dude, sad to see this with the children at those ages. My buddy has two boys 5-7 and he pretty much keeps them when he gets back in town. He probably spends more time with them then their mother.

I all comes down to how your ex-wife is. If she is a real bitch then it can make your job with the kids much harder.

Good Luck
 

Raskal

big member, little pay
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First off Sorry dude, sad to see this with the children at those ages. My buddy has two boys 5-7 and he pretty much keeps them when he gets back in town. He probably spends more time with them then their mother.

I all comes down to how your ex-wife is. If she is a real bitch then it can make your job with the kids much harder.

Good Luck

Well, I can only offer two examples, myself and a friend who went about it pretty differently.

I went the easy route, I live in base and about 20 min from my daughter. I get every other weekend with her so I bid reserve or a schedule I can trade the hell out of so as to have those weekends off. I also bid high-speed/CDO reserve and that allows me to pick her up from school often during the week.

My friend, however, arranges his schedule through bidding, begging and treachery to get the majority of his time off all at once every month. Makes for a pretty tough work schedule, but uses the time off so his daughter essentially moves in with him.

Good luck, and with all that in mind, the most important thing to you will be the relationship with your ex.
 

N1VIBS

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My divorce was many years ago, but a lot depends on how cooperative your ex is. My divorce was a "friendly" type and my ex was very use to the "airline life" (never knowing for sure what your schedule is from month to month). Anyway, lawyers suggested and we agreed to "open" visitation. Basically that meant that when I got my schedule, I would call my ex and work out the visitation. The Judge agreed to this and also said if we had any serious problems,I could come back to court and he would set the visitation. Anyway for a little over 4 years ( my daughter turned 18 then) it worked out great. No problems. Good luck.
 

jetstream

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My divorce was many years ago, but a lot depends on how cooperative your ex is. My divorce was a "friendly" type and my ex was very use to the "airline life" (never knowing for sure what your schedule is from month to month). Anyway, lawyers suggested and we agreed to "open" visitation. Basically that meant that when I got my schedule, I would call my ex and work out the visitation. The Judge agreed to this and also said if we had any serious problems,I could come back to court and he would set the visitation. Anyway for a little over 4 years ( my daughter turned 18 then) it worked out great. No problems. Good luck.

Thats just what I have been proposing and my attorney did another divorce for a pilot using that arrangement. However, my wife is arguning that I will be "dictating" the visitation schedule to her.
 

N1VIBS

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Thats just what I have been proposing and my attorney did another divorce for a pilot using that arrangement. However, my wife is arguning that I will be "dictating" the visitation schedule to her.

My only suggestion now would go before the judge and explain it to him. Let him know you don't have a "normal" 8 to 5, Mon to Fri. type job. I think any fair judge would understand this and try to work something out. Keep in mind during all of this, that your wife does NOT, repeat, NOT have the final say in any of this. As I said in my previous post, my divorce was friendly. But what I've seen in other cases, be "nice" if possible. However if your wife is being a bitch, then I suggest you be the biggest bastard possible (of course try to keep the kids out of the bitch/bastard part if at all possible)! Once again, good luck.
 

BUDDHA145

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I'm sorry you're ging throug this time men. I've been there my self....My advice is you both are the parent's. They need you, and they need mom!!!. Open visitation is the best for ever one!!!
If for some reason you have a hearing or court day about visitation, remember this is not about you two and the divorce but the kids!!!

take care and good luck
 
Last edited:

Axel

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Dec 3, 2003
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I'm sorry you're ging throug this time men. I've been there my self....My advice is you both are the parent's. They need you, and they need mom!!!. Open visitation is the best for ever one!!!
If for some reason you have a hearing or court day about visitation, remember this is not about you two and the divorce but the kids!!!

take care and good luck

Dead center bullseye, Buddha. The kids are neither pawns nor the spoils of war. They are kids. Your differences with your ex don't matter.

If either parent loses sight of that it is the children who will suffer.
 

viper548

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I have an 8 year old daughter. Never married but her mom and I split up a few years ago. We live about 5 min apart. I get my daughter nearly all the time when I'm home. We typically work out the arrangements on a weekly basis. If you keep things civil it shouldn't be a problem. Your kids are at the age where they should be able to decide for themselves. If the mom is a total biatch beware of "parental alienation" which is Dr. Phil talk for mom talking too much crap about dad. It's considered a form of abuse and you could use that against her. Good luck!
 

B-J-J Fighter

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I'm divorced and still flying. Although my days in flying are very numbered, I got full custody of my son after my divorce. My Dad is an attorney and I told her I would make her go broke with court appearences and legal fess before I gave up the fight. It worked out well for my because after several legal battles/fees she gave up and signed over custody to me. If you are in GA PM me and I will put you in touch with an one of the best attorneys in the state.
 

xjgearbtch

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I bid a schedule of trying to work every thursday to sunday with two weekends off a month. Also allowing the scheduled pick up days to vary by 2 from this. I wouldn't try to bid a schedule with as many days off in a row. You will upgrade/downgrade/be junior/be senior. If you promise to hold "X" amount of days off for the rest of your career you'll shoot yourself in the foot. You won't be able to maintain joint custody with that promise. It's not worth the stress.

Your custody hinges on your ex's abiltity to see thru her own needs and realize the importance of you being in the childrens life. Married familys juggle schedules just as much as divorced. Don't believe for one second that you will cause them harm by having them live in two homes equally. When it is equal, keep it simple. Split schooling/medical/daycare 50/50. Clothes let em have a wardrobe in each house. Going tit for tat over little jimmy needing a another pair of jeans gets stressful. Instead when they live you, you cloth them and vice versa.

No one has a perfect work schedule. Never apologize for your career. It sounds like when you are home you want to be with your kids. Keep your head up, your kids will see in the long run that you love them.

The great thing about our career is when we are home we have NO work responsibilities. Make sure the Judge knows this. I love being the only dad, chaperoning the school field trips. When my kid gets out of school he isn't sitting in daycare for 2-3 hours waiting for me to finish my 9-5 job & commute. I'm there to get started on homework right away, after school activites etc. I'm never missing a school recital because of a late night conference call. They'll never have the excuse of forgeting homework, cause you're there to pick them up. You have so much to offer because of your career choice, don't let anyone spin it as a negative.

Good luck, my kid is a very happy child and I know it's because I'm in his life.
 

jws717

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Make sure to remind everyone (ex wife) that your children need a father in their life.
 

rumorhasit

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Totally depends on where the child is. Find out if you live in a "mommy state", if you do you are kcufed!!! Try Fathers rights, @ premier Family services...number 1-800-964-1664 or their website. I found out about them after I got the screw job from a "female lawyer"!!! Don't fall for that "get a woman lawyer so they will think you don't hate women" crap!!! Get the best lawyer you can afford and show a picture of your Baby to him/her and tell them this is what you are fighting for!!! Don't take any crap from the woman and don't be affraid to go to court if she threatens you!!!! Need any advice PM me or just need to chat with someone whos been there and still learning lessons!!!! It is a tough road you just got onto!!!!
 
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