Avoid Foul Language!
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to complaints received from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
None of less we do realize the critical importance of individuals being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.
Old Phrase.... Prefered New Phrase
No fuking way!.... I'm certain that's not feasible.
You've got to be $hitting me.... Really?
Tell someone who gives a fuk.... Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I give a fuk.... Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my fuking problem.... I wasn't involved with that project.
What the fuk?.... Interesting.
Fuk it, it won't work..... I'm not sure I can implement this.
Why the fuk didn't you tell me that sooner?.... I'll try to schedule that.
When the fuk do you expect me to do this?.... Perhaps I can work late.
Who the fuk cares?.... Are you sure this is a problem?
He's get his head up his ass.... He's not familiar with the problem.
Eat $hit!.... You don't say.
Eat $hit and die.... Excuse me?
Eat $hit and die motherfuker.... Excuse me Sir?
What the fuk do they want from my life?.... They weren't happy with it?
Kiss my ass..... So you'd like my help with it?
Fuk it, I'm on salary.... I don't think you understand.
Shove it up your ass.... I love a "challenge".
Who the he!! died and made you the boss?.... You want me to take care of this.
Blow me.... I see.
Blow yourself.... Do you see?
Another fuking meeting?.... Yes, we really should discuss this.
I really don't give a $hit.... I don't think it will be a problem.
He's a fuking pr!ck..... He's somewhat insensitive.
She's a ball-breaking b!tch..... She's an aggressive go-getter.
You don't know what the fuk you're doing.... I think you could use more training.
This place is all fuked up.... We're a little disorganized.
And everybody's favorite .wav on all the different uses for the
F-word.