Calming down the nerves?

[adam_jorgensen]

Ok, so know that people know a little more about my situation with what I'm going to do with my life, there's another thing that really bothers me.

I really love flying and I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life but I am still a little apprehensive about getting into that cockpit and doing another lesson. I'm just always afraid that I'm going to do something wrong and piss off my instructor, not so much crashing, but just that. I'm a real people pleaser and I don't like to disappoint people. I'm at 14.5 hours of flight training and I still get nervous especially on the ground. Not so much in the air, but just around the airport and on the ground. I just can't seem to get the feel for those individual breaks on the Cessna 152. I really hate this about my self. I wish I would just relax and have fun but its hard to do that when I can't relax. Some days, I'm more relaxed and do really well but most days, I'm nervous and I do bad. I was so jumpy yesterday that my instructor was saying something not even flight related and I literally jumped out of my seat because I got so startled. I felt really stupid after that and imagined my self punching my self. Why can't I just relax? I hope this won't interfere with my passion for flying because allot of times, I actually am relieved when we arrive on the ground! I hate that! I want to be disappointed that were on the ground but I am just to fearful to feel that way. Does this mean I don't like flying?

I'm almost starting to think I have a sever case of neurosis here. Irritional fears is one of the symptons. I know I dont have this disorder but it almost feels that way.

Forgetting steps is something I really don't want to happen. When I get nervous, my mind blanks out, I freeze like an idiot, and forget what I have to do. I have a really nice instructor and she says I'm doing just fine at my level and are being too hard on my self. While being hard on my self is probably true, I just don't see how I'm doing fine. As long as I'm scared, I think I'm always doing bad.

And how about soloing? Most people have soled at my time by now and this is making me wonder what's wrong with me. I am not ready to solo yet. People think that if you solo at 20 hours, there's something wrong with you. They think that's really late.

Allot of people I have talked to say that this is normal but I don't think so. Usually things I have done this amount of times already I don't get nervous but its a disease that just won't seem to go away. How were all of you when you first started flight training? Did any of you ever get as nervous and unrelaxed as I did?
Allot of you guys here who fly for a career for a major airline, where you ever nervous? I want to make flying my career and hopefully make it to the majors but how will I ever get there if I can't relax this far in? No one will ever want to hire a neurotic like me. I'm having a hard time finding people who can relate to me in this situation. I just want to start enjoying my flying and stop getting so dog out nervous. I wish there was never such a feeling. Its a feeling that really knows how to take the fun and joy out of what you love.

 

[dmspilot00]

I really love flying and I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life but I am still a little apprehensive about getting into that cockpit and doing another lesson. I'm just always afraid that I'm going to do something wrong and piss off my instructor, not so much crashing, but just that. I'm a real people pleaser and I don't like to disappoint people. I'm at 14.5 hours of flight training and I still get nervous especially on the ground. Not so much in the air, but just around the airport and on the ground. I just can't seem to get the feel for those individual breaks on the Cessna 152.

Do you get nervous or anxious about other things in life? If so, maybe you are just a generally anxious person. However I had a similar experience to yours while learning to fly. Usually my anxiety peaked in car on the way to the airport. The closer to the airport we got, the more nervous I became. It really didn't go away until after I got my private. But even today, if I know I will be doing something new or haven't done in awhile, I still get nervous.

In the air, I became nervous a lot of time while practicing landings. I mentally reminded myself to relax during the approach, and that helped quite a lot. After the first few soloes, it was time for me to learn how to get into and out of a towered airport. The first time, I was so nervous that I had teeth marks on my lip from biting it. After I got through that, next was cross-country work. Another new thing for me to be nervous about. But the more experience I received in each task, the less nervous I was.

It really just takes practice and patience. When do you take your lessons? I learned to fly when I was in high school, and I noticed if I flew after school, I did rather poorly, and if I flew on a weekend, I was more relaxed, and did better.

You can also try taking a break. How often do you fly? Try not flying for a week, but think about it and practice using visualizing. Or, ask your CFI if you can do something else...maybe just fly around and not concentrate on maneuvers for one lesson.

 

[Timebuilder]

Have you tried a hobby that helps you to be calm and confident? I recommend martial arts.

You don't have to be able to do any of the super-human stuff that Bruce Lee used to do, either. Don't like the idea of punching and kicking? Karate might not be for you.

You might prefer Judo. Translated, it means gentle way. Most of what makes it effective is the graceful use of your opponents own mass to take him off his feet, and then to apply a hold to achieve submission, which is not as much a test of strength as it is a matter of correct application of a small amount of force. This art is a derivative of Jiu Jitsu, and it is good for building confidence in the man who is not as tall or strong as the guys on the football team.

The point is, the confidence you build in the dojo is carried with you into everything you do, including the airplane. A reasonable amount of self-confidence is required for success in any endeavor, and being confident is a great stress reliever.

 

[KC-10 Driver]

If you know deep down that you really want to fly, then nothing is wrong with you -- you are certainly not abnormal with your anxiety.

My first powered flight experience was in a USAF T-41 (basically a C-172). I enjoyed almost no part of it. I got about 20 hours of flight time over a couple of months, had the nicest instructor, and I still hated it!

My experience was similar to yours -- I was nervous before every flight, but was generally better once we got in the air.

I almost decided not to go to Air Force pilot training because of that first flight experience, but deep down I knew that I did want to be a pilot. I knew that I wouldn't be able to face myself later in life if I didn't at least give it my best shot.

In formal flight school, I initially experienced the same anxiety, compounded by airsickness. Finally, I learned the trick that did the most to help me to relax and gain confidence.

It sounds really simple, but I realized that I had to visualize an entire flight in my mind, in real time, prior to actually doing it -- usually the night before.

This is called "chair flying".

I would sit in a private place and go through the entire flight at the actual pace that things would happen. If available, tape a cockpit diagram poster on a wall and use it as your "cockpit". I would make all my calls out loud. I would move my hands and feet as I would during the flight.

It may sound silly, but it really works. Chair flying is as important as studying your procedures & systems. It helps you picture what you will do in the flight. It works. I still do it for every flying course I take.

By the way, do not worry about what anyone else thinks, or about what the norm is for time before solo. It doesn't matter. Worry about yourself, and no one else.

Also, you sound like a perfectionist. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes lots of mistakes when learning how to fly. The key during flight is to forget about anything that goes wrong and just concentrate on what you have to do next. You can't control what has passed. You can worry about your past mistakes when chair flying for your next flight.

And, trust me, your CFI thinks no less of you as a person, as a student, or as a pilot. She has undoubtedly made most of the same mistakes herself.

Timebuilder gave you some great advice, too. Don't spend every waking hour thinking about your next flight. You need a good hobby to take your mind off your anxiety.

In time, your worries will fade, and you will have a great time.

 

[bobbysamd]

Early flight training

Don't worry about "pissing off" the instructors. You really aren't pissing them off, but your performance may be engendering a critique. Don't confuse critique with a pissed-off instructor.

My instructor always told me that flight instruction is an intense-one-on-one relationship. One of the unusual things about learning how to fly is you're paying someone to yell at you. In other words, you're paying someone to constantly critique you. Learning how to fly can be one of the most ego-shattering experiences one can ever know. But, just remember, the instructor isn't yelling at you per se, she is yelling at your performance. You must differentiate between a critique and personal attack.

I remember learning how to fly twenty years ago. I was much older than you. I was 31. My instructor owned his own airplane and it did not have an intercom. He did not have a voice that projected. So, to communicate over the noise, he had to shout. And, when he shouted, it sounded like he was yelling at me. And, when he yelled at me, I thought that he was mad at me. Maybe I heard three words out of ten. And, for this, I was paying $50 per hour? My instructor basically was a very fine man. I didn't pick up on things that quickly all the time (no student does) and maybe he was exasperated. I thought I was the world's worst flight student. But, I came to realize, that he was not attacking me personally. That's what you have to remember.

Now, many instructors are extremely focused and intense. They're on their students constantly to make them do their best. They tolerate zero error. That style doesn't always work. Always give your instructor your best shot. If, somehow, your personalities clash, change instructors. Bear in mind that for a lot of people flight instruction is their first contact with intense, disciplined training. It sounds like your instructor is a nice person. Give her a chance to teach you.

Students are often excited about their first experiences flying, which may translate into apprehension. After your first few flights, you'll see how normal flying really is, and your apprehension should pass.

Finally, you should make sure you are completely prepared for every flight. Your instructor should preview each lesson. Study the maneuvers and procedures you will be working on that day. The maneuvers and procedures in and of themselves may not make sense, but least commit to memory the steps required to execute them. After you try them in flight, they'll make more sense.

Hope all this helps. Once again, good luck with your training.

 

[Checks]

Just remember that your CFI works for you! You are footing the bill.

How do you know you want to work for a major airline with only 14.5hours flight time? Paychart maybe?

 

[Timebuilder]

Bobby and I, along with most of the pilots here, have been on both sides of the instruction fence; both student and teacher. I stumbled across a small but important truth when learning to fly: an airplane is one of the worst places to try and learn anything. So: study, practice mentally, then fly the lesson after a thorough briefing. If you already know what is expected of you, the noise, new sights, and sensations won't be quite as distracting.

Learning to land the airplane is a very gratifying experience. This doesn't happen without creating a whole series of memories that you will never forget. Most of them will seem very comical, but only in retrospect. Don't worry, we've all been there.

This is fun, learing to fly. World peace does not hang in the balance with each flight. Enjoy yourself.

 

[de727ups]

I once new a young man who was the most nervous student I ever had. I flew with him for his advanced ratings and his performance was subpar, in general, but we kept working on it. I nearly sat him down a few times and told he just wasn't gonna make it as a pilot....but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I truely though he'd never make it in the career.

Last I heard he had attained his CFI and was a very active instructor....and has been interviewing at the regionals.

Point is.....you haven't given yourself enough time to tell yourself you aren't cut out to fly. I'd listen to your CFI for feedback and try not to get too worked up about your percieved performance. Also, some airports require more training before you solo. If your training airport is in or near a busy air traffic control enviornment, you'd need more time before I'd let you solo.

Where do you fly out of?

 

[350DRIVER]

Adam-
Don't worry so much about flying to "make" your instructor "happy"- Flying is not normal to someone early on who has never experienced flight before and you being the one who is in control of the aircraft adds to the "unusual" sensation. The more flights and hours that Y O U accumulate then the more comfortable you will become, it really just takes time.... I know many many students a few of them I have trained that felt the same way and questioned themselves just as you have done BUT now they look back and joke about it because how easy it has become for them once they have accumulated the "experience" and "flight time". Let time take it's toll and just be patient about the whole situation and you will see how rapidly things will fall into place for you. Flying is just like driving a car and the more times that you do it the better you will become and one day you will look at flying just as you look at driving a car. It just takes TIME and ALOT of it......

Be patient and MOST of all just R E L A X & have F U N

3 5 0

 

[TgrPlt]

There is some very good advice in this thread. However, sometimes its just simpler than all that. I know guys who got and probably still get very tense/nervous during close formation and air refueling. It sounds a bit strange, but some of the advice passed around is to sing to yourself during the flight. For a lot of people just humming a tune or singing to themselves can really help them relax a little and just enjoy the flight.

 

[Timebuilder]

FlyChicago-

I have a trip today, so when I get to my hotel (hopefully one with a business ceter) I'll try and find a link to help you find a dojo in your state.

While Karate can be found on storefronts in strip amlls, Judo is a little more difficult to come by. Not impossible, though.

Good luck.

 

[aviatrix]

Adam,

You will not be perfect, and you will make your mistakes, but those are the things you will learn the most from! Strive for perfection and understand the inherent risks and you will do well. Ironically, it's right around 15 hours and pre-solo that many, many students drop out of flight training for the very reasons you express. It's a big hurdle.....you are taking on more responsibilty and knowledge at this point, and soon you will have PIC authority. Just know that your instructor will not "cut you loose" unless they have full confidence in your abilities.
I wouldn't want to fly with any student who wasn't apprehensive about making me, as a CFI, happy!! It shows your dedication and willingness to learn.
Remember......small steps. In reading your posts I think you have a tendency to focus a little too much on "the career." That may not be in your best interest right now! How about turning your focus toward mastering the cross-wind landing! Believe me....sometimes that can be more challenging than any career thoughts!
You'll do great!


And by the way, I'm cracking up reading your post and watching that spaztic avatar you selected!

 

[chawbein]

I get nervous before I fly too. Even when I fly commercially. That only lasts until I sit down, then it's all business. After that, the only time I get nervous is when, say for example trying to land with a 13kt crosswind and you haven't flown in a crosswind for like 6 months (I kept asking myself why I decided to fly that day while flying in the pattern). Pucker Factor. The old grim reaper missed me that day, but I became proficient with crosswinds.

Not sure what my little story had to do with anything, but whatever.

 

[adam_jorgensen]

Thanks everybody for your kind replies! One thing I noticed is that pilots are the most caring people you can find! I go to other pilot messages boards, one called student pilot.com which some of you might be aware of. There too, allot of people show how much they want to help me and give me all the help I need. It shows how pilots are very nice people.

Its interesting to see when in the plane people get nervous. For most people, I have noticed that it mostly happens around the airport. This may sound crazy, but I just made a break though last night pin pointing the (hopefully) exact reason I get nervous. Hopefully, this will alleviate my nerves. I have thought of things in the past that might be the reason I get nervous but usually were false. Like I said, I'm not scared of crashing. If I was afraid of crashing, I would be afraid of flying. Of course, you have a good reason to be afraid of it but I know that my instructor is not that incompetent and will make sure we don't crash. When I solo, that fear might be more so on top of my real fear but even my self, I know I'm not going to let the plane crash unless it blew up for no reason or something. So at least I have somewhat confidence in that.

But back to the real reason I get afraid of flying and it really has nothing to do with flying. Its radio intimation, and instructor intimation. I find that I'm the most nervous around the airport, taking off, landing, circuits and it eases once were out of the airport area. I fly out of a class D airport so there's a tower with people you have to talk to. I can say certain things no problem like asking for taxi clearance or takeoff clearance and a position report but this is mostly when your either stopped on the ground, or when your in the air just flying normally. Its when were in the circuit or just entering the control zone is when I get nervous. Tower is nattering at you while you have to fly the airplane and you have to listening and reply to them while flying the plane. Right now, I find this very hard to do. Many times I hear the radio talk and all of the sudden my instructor will reply back to them. I say to myself, what? They were talking to us? Its like I didn't even hear them because I was too busy concentrating on flying the plane. This can't happen on my first solo. I just get nervous thinking if tower says something to you that you don't know how to reply to and you don't want to say the wrong thing. What goes on in my head is like, what do I say? what do I do? What happens if they say something that I'm unfamiliar with. Your too nervous to ask them repeat it again or ask for clarification because they might get mad. So that's the big thing is knowing when tower is talking to you and how to reply. Something I hope I can learn soon but that is probably 40% of the reason why I get nervous.

Second is the instructor. She is very nice, has never yelled at me, says I'm doing great yet I get nervous around her. In the end, I think I'm just intimated by the authority. It all revolves around pleasing them and not screwing up for someone's sake. Its not flying, its people! The radio guys, the instructor, when I imagine it in my head it all makes sense. I would probably not get nervous if I had no instructor or radio guys to talk to. So those are the real reasons I get nervous. It all fits together. It all happens around the airport because not only do you have your instructor, but also the tower to be nervous about. When where out of the control zone well, its just the instructor. I hope this is the real reason I get nervous and its not like the real reason is I just don't like flying. But add those 2 things, and it cancels out the real joy, or hides it. Your to busy trying to please people rather than to enjoy the ride. Now that's self psychiatry! I hope.

And maybe other little things that pile on a little pressure like what if there's a plane just a little bit ahead of you on the circuit and how do you space? What I hope when I solo is that the airport won't be busy. The busier, the harder because when its busier, you have to not only talk to tower more, but also be weary of the other traffic. And I worry about things like what happens if I miss the taxiway I was suppose to turn on to and a guy is right behind me? Or what if I'm to high, or low on final? Its all that airport junk that makes me nervous. Does anybody know how this feels?

 

[dmspilot00]

Just wondering, what airport do you fly out of?

Getting nervous because of having to talk to ATC is so common that there is a name for it. "Mic fright."

Most of everything you say to ATC is always going to be the same. You can practice on the ground by writing down the phrases that you usually use and just practicing saying them. Then after awhile try saying the phrases without the piece of paper, and see how well you can remember. If you have to, bring the paper with you in the airplane and read off of it as necessary. I learned to fly at a nontowered airport, but when I learned to go into a towered field, my CFI had a "script" typed up for me to read with everything that they were supposed to say and what I was supposed to say.

Secondly, during and even before the flight, try to ancicipate what ATC will tell you. For example, as you approach the airport, if the wind is favoring runway 36, and you are coming from the east, you'll expect for them to probably tell you to enter downwind 36, or base 36, report midfield or whatever (depending on if they have radar or not). Also, rehearse what you're going to say right before you say it.

"Your too nervous to ask them repeat it again or ask for clarification because they might get mad. "

You seem to have a preoccupation with worrying about making people mad--it's a recurring theme in your posts. Just don't. If you don't hear something, ask them to repeat it. Don't even debate or think about whether you should ask or not, just do it, as if on instinct. If you don't ask and you bust an altittude or something because of a misunderstood transmission, then that's when they will get mad. They would much rather repeat something than have someone do something unexpected. If they ask you something and you don't know what it means, tell them so (if you're solo--if not ask your CFI). If you mess up, ATC knows you're a student, and your CFI knows your a student. They know you're going to make mistakes.

 

[Timebuilder]

Live from Memphis......do you know that this FBO has a greeter on the ramp in an Elvis outfit???

Anyway, to get you started with some Judo info:

http://www.judoinfo.com/menu.shtml

and this one has school listings. There is a school listed for Chicago, too:

http://www.worldjudo.org/usaclubs.htm

 

[bobbysamd]

Comm

Here are a couple of ideas that worked for me.

It's like learning a new language. It really is, actually, because you must master new jargon. However, after you listen to the comm for a period, it tends to sound familiar. Therefore, you might consider buying a small aircraft radio, going to the airport, and just listening. After a while, the words will make sense.

Also, communication tends to boil down to the four "Ws." Who they are, Who you are, Where you are, and What you want. Example:

"Wiley Post Ground" (Who they are),"

"Cessna 12345 (Who you are),"

"at Jetaway (Where you are),"

"Taxi with Whiskey (What you want, indicating you have the ATIS)."

Don't worry about how you sound. Just speak in a normal tone of voice. In fact, if you speak too loudly, you'll distort your mike and blast into the controller's headset. You don't want to do that. If you don't understand what they want or are trying to tell you, a simple "say again for Cessna 12345" will do the trick.

Do think first about what you want to say. You say more with less.

Hope this helps. Your instructor will provide more help. Once more, good luck with your training.

 

[adam_jorgensen]

Air band radio

Just picked up one today. An air band radio that lets me tune into frequencies that tower and the aircraft use. I can hear tower, the pilots, ATIS and many more. I can hear them from my very own home although its a little garbled. Out at the airport, its clear. I have a flying lesson tomorrow so I'm going to try it out there. Hope it helps me familiarize with the radio talk. Has anybody here ever used one of these radios?

 

[de727ups]

I was just going to suggest you get one of those air band radios. Sit around the airport and listen to the tower for a while...then listen to ground control. You'll soon start to see patterns in the clearances and that will help you to anticipate....something someone else mentioned is important. Try to pay special attention to the beginning of a transmission when you are flying. If the call is for you....the controller will say your aircraft number. If the call is for someone else, you can mentally tune it out until the next transmission. Eventually, you'll want to hear all transmissions, as they will help you develop the "big picture" of the situation around you....but don't worry about that now if it takes all your brain cells to just fly. Don't worry about making ATC mad. They are there to serve you. They will be a lot madder if you didn't understand something and screwed up because you were afraid to ask about it. "Say again" is a great way to get the controller to slow down and clarify a clearance....they can say it a different way if you don't understand it the first time.

Not sure what to say about the CFI thing. Would you be more relaxed if you flew with a guy?

 

[Dot_AK]

listening to the chatter is a great way to make it go from assorted squawks and garbles, and words at 15knots gusting to 25, become clear. It's like the chair-flying; practice helps, and not just practice inside the airplane.

Another thing you can do if you're feeling stressed or intimidated is utter the magic phrase to tower, "student pilot."

for example, inbound from the practice area via sleeper strip, reporting point noname to Approach, crossing the Knik arm and switching to Merill tower, telling them where I am and requesting full stop or touch n' go's while dealing with traffic from Anchorage International, Elmendorf AFB, Lake Hood Seaplane Base, and Merrill traffic.... yeah. when calling up Anchorage approach "Approach, this is cessna 12345, student pilot, inbound for merrill at Point NoName with Charlie." Gets the controller to talk more clearly and slowly to me every time. I don't always use it, but it sure helps now and then!