Awesome PIREPS

[starchkr]

Actual PIREP from Louisiana 10-3-02

LFT UUA /OV 4R7 /TM 1722 /FLUNK /TP UNKN /RM PILOT REPORTED HE WAS IN HIS TRUCK IN A PASTURE WATCHING HIS HOUSE BLOW AWAY

Dead serious!!! This was a PIREP out today as LILI trampled LA.

 

[TwinTails]

Pilot report from a Caravan driver after getting his behind kicked around in a storm just south of OMA tonight.

Approach: Caravan *** did you want to issue a pilot report?

Pilot: (almost a yell) Yeah, STAY THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!

 

[ShawnC]

PIREP: Tawiway conditions: Slicker than owl snoot

 

[501261]

I remember one a while back: 737 reported Severe Turbulence "Coffee hit the ceiling."

That still has me laughing, since that is now one of my personal definitions of turbulence. The coffee has to hit the ceiling to be considered Severe; if it only hits my shirt- I'll call it moderate; if it just spills out of the cup, light!

 

[uavchaser]

I was just about to post that one, was that the one over PSP about a year or two ago?

 

[501261]

You got it over PSP!

 

[FLB717]

Leaving MSY taxi to Rwy 19 we started bouncing like a ball on that great two rut road pertending to be a taxiway.

AAI (US): MSY tower Citrus 424 would like to report moderate to severe turbulence on taxiway Wiskey(?).

TWR: Roger Sir (laugh) we will issue that PiRep.

KingAir C90: Tower KingAir ready to taxi Runway 19

Twr: KingAir C90 Caution, be advised a B717 just reported moderate to severe turbulence on taxiway Wiskey.

KingAir C90: What? a..what reported what?

Suddenly I thought I was hearing a portion of "Airplane the Movie" Roger Roger whats the Vector Victor, Huhh? Whaa?

 

[Ty Webb]

We reported a turtle on the taxiway at HOU a few weeks back, "Be advised, there';s a large turtle on taxiway Yankee, but he is tracking the centerline. . . ."..

Ground: "Is he still alive?".

FL: "Yep".

Tower: "Great. Someone owes me some money, then".


The next aircraft that taxiied out said, "Uh, fellas, hate to tell you this, but this guy's had it. You;re probably gonna have to get a shovel out here to get him up".

Apparently, we didn't quite take him between the nose and main like we had hoped. . . . . . . ..

Of course, my favorite PIREP is on my signature line, and I have made that report in the past.

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

the only one that ever made me laugh was reported by a B757 over MCO.

RMK - Not very fun
in response to severe turbulance

 

[JediNein]

Approach: Caravan *** did you want to issue a pilot report?

Pilot: (almost a yell) Yeah, STAY THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!

I've used that line before.

The pilot that went through that particular patch of airspace after me said, "Yeah, that first pilot was right, STAY THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!"


As a side note, did you know if you put the landing gear down on a high-performance low-wing airplane, you would almost always roll back to level?

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[flx757]

Sort of along the same line as the moderate turbulance on Taxiway W...

Back in the mid '90s, the RNO airport was undergoing a major construction project, with the ruways and taxiways being re-surfaced, etc. Once during taxi, the aircraft ahead of us (we were taxiing all the way down to Rwy 34 for departure) radioed ground and said: "Ground, this is XXX flt XXX....we'd like to report a smooth spot on Taxiway Alpha".

 

[ILS8L]

Asked for by HNL Center for a ride report for the crossing HNL to LAX, xyz airline reported, "well, we just had dinner and the captain stabed himself with the fork four times" ... HNL Center "roger, we'll pass that along, "abc airline how is your ride? .... "Center, abc ... we haven't had dinner yet, we'll let you know"

 

[uscpilot]

A couple of months ago in CLT an Abex DC-9 (I think) took off 18R and reported monderate turbulence on the runway. I asked the tower after she handed him off if he was serious. The controller had no idea. My guess it was the potholes on the runway.