Anybody see the new car commercial with the trunk monkey?
A man is in his car at an intersection, with a large irate individual hollering at him from outside the car. The large individual is out of control, his truck having cut off the little guy in the car. The little guy doesn't dare get out. He tries blocking his view of the irate man, trying to pretend he isn't there, but it doesn't help.
In desperation, he reaches up to his dash and pushes a little button entitled "trunk monkey." A chimpanzee climbs out of the trunk with a tire iron. The chimp clubs the offending irate guy with the tire iron. Then the little guy thanks him and tells him to get back in the trunk.
I predict it's only a matter of a year or so before this becomes standard fare on the flight deck. No worrying about making application, attending FLETC, putting up with requalification for firearms. No training needed, in fact. Simply push the cabin monkey button, and wait for the intercom to ring through. Pick up the receiver, listen to a polite screetch, and then advise, "Beligerant adult male, seat 43C." Then let the monkey do it's thing.
Of course, the monkey will be restricted from carrying anything, to include tweezers, nail files, #2 pencils, toothpicks, pocket knives, or fecal material containing the sharp edges of gnawed seeds, (and must have been declawed to meet OSHA safety guidelines), but at least it can give the passenger a nasty bite and a big, stinky, wet kiss.
