ATLAS and UPS

[waazzuuuup!!]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helv]Purchase, NY (Reuters)- Atlas Worldwide Holdings, Inc. (AWWH) has announced plans to purchase United Postal Service (UPS) today. Contrary to popular opinion, UPS is on the verge of bankruptcy. Their senior management and Board of Directors report that they do not want to own an airline anyway and that they have been looking to sell UPS for some time.

Even though the final price was pennys on the dollar, UPS management is reportedly ecstatic about the sale since they will be forming an aircraft leasing company and they will be leasing all of the original UPS aircraft to AWWH at twice the current rate.

Sources at AWWH say that they will soon begin operating all profitable UPS flights under ACMI and subcontracting the remaining flights back to UPS at a significantly higher rate than UPS's original costs.

AWWH says that they, too, are happy about the sale. They plan to begin synergizing the operations in early 2005. They have announced plans to file for Chapter 11 reorganization on June 1st, 2005 with completion of the proceedings on June 3rd, 2005.

Merging the pilot groups will occur in 2008. Comments from the pilot union MEC's were not available since every union official has been hog-tied, gagged, tarred, feathered and buried alive in a pit of vipers by AWWH's Vice-President of Labor Relations. [/font]</a>

 

[I.P. Freley]

I believe that you'll find that a certain rocketeering program mentioned in your profile is spelled "Apollo", not "Appollo".

Anyway, has anyone had any good BBQ lately? I had some "Smokey Bones" last month and it wasn't bad for a chain restaurant.

 

[b747dogg]

I just heard that Atlas is not going to take the UPS pilots, just the aircraft and routes!!!!

 

[heavyjetpilot]

Now this I find amusing. As funny as it sounds worse things than have been known to happen. I would never say never in this day and age. But then I come back to reality and realize there is no way under the sun that Atlas Worldwide Holdings could ever find enough $ to buy UPS(The Real UPS). Seeing that we are only 10% public it can't happen yet.
Anyway I enjoyed the reading.
Merry Christmas,
CW

By the way when we finally do buy AWH I hope you can say the word STAPLE.
Just kidding.

 

[Pilot12345]

Atlas has announced plans to purchase United Postal Service (UPS)? Did they mean to say United Parcel Service? If not then I didn't know the postal service operates their own aircraft.

 

[waazzuuuup!!]

I think it was IPS.

The International Parcel Service

 

[coolyokeluke]

Maybe then they can come up with a more interesting logo than "synchronizing the world of commerce", a phrase born in a boardroom if I've ever heard one. Then again I don't speak in business buzzwords, perhaps a bunch of pilots talking would bore the MBA types.

 

[thunderworm]

synchronizing the world of commerce sounds a lot like fedex's the world on time wonder who was first?

 

[cforst513]

Atlas has announced plans to purchase United Postal Service (UPS)? Did they mean to say United Parcel Service? If not then I didn't know the postal service operates their own aircraft.

It's officially the United States Postal Service, or USPS. They do not operate their own planes; rather, they have a deal with FedEx that if they can use the FedEx planes to carry mail, then FedEx can put drop boxes outside of post offices. I think the USPS also puts mail on commercial flights as well.

 

[B-atch]

Too much BBQ PORK!!

AWWH...April FOOLS came early this year... Or maybe late?.. CONFUSED...AGAIN!!