400ADude
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 8, 2006
- Posts
- 606
Like many, I've gotten sick and tired of reading about and thinking about this Airtran acquisition. So I've spent some time pursuing an artistic venture to take the edge off of some of the anxiety. I've completed the first scene of a screenplay that I hope can generate some notice from a Hollywood producer (turns out a lucrative second career may come in handy.)
So without further ado, here's the working draft of my screenplay, inspired by possible SLI solutions bandied about recently by industry experts, forum participants, and SWAPA presidential candidates. Enjoy!
SWA-Airtran: The Movie!
FADE IN:
MUSIC CUE: "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY" by Bobby McFerrin plays as we fade into:
INT. COCKPIT OF N342SW – EARLY MORNING, WINTER 2012
Tight shot on JOHN SOUTHWEST: forties, dressed in a pilot uniform with three striped epaulets. He looks straight ahead with a somber expression, examining his trip sheet and monthly schedule as he commences a pairing.
The camera pulls back to tight shot on BILL TRANNY: mid-thirties with four striped epaulets. He too is studying his trip sheet/schedule; however, his expression is one of pure joy.
Both men are very similar. Mostly likeable guys. Average pilots (although they both think they’re above average).
First set of lines from both characters are unspoken thoughts narrated by the actors.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK: DECEMBER 2004, SOUTHWEST AIRLINES HEADQUARTERS
JOHN SOUTHWEST and BILL TRANNY are stepping off the Renaissance Hotel van for their pilot interviews at Southwest Airlines. Each tips the driver $10 (rumors at the time indicated hotel van drivers were queried by the interview team about the candidates). The two men enter the building, then return hours later.
CUT TO: BILL TRANNY’s mailbox, January 2005.
BILL TRANNY receives a letter that causes him to double over in anguish. After recovering, he kicks his dog.
BACK TO COCKPIT SCENE:
SCENE 2 synopsis: Two weeks later, JOHN SOUTHWEST flies with former AAI pilot and current junior SWA Captain JIMMY CRITTER. After a personal resolution to put acrimony aside and be more personable, JOHN engages JIMMY in some polite conversation. They discover they have a shared acquaintance in BILL TRANNY. JOHN describes how he and BILL interviewed at SWA together in 2004. JIMMY proclaims what an amazing coincidence that is: JIMMY flew-as a new hire Airtran FO-with BILL two days before BILL’s SWA interview. Scene ends with closeup on JOHN SOUTHWEST. He solemnly contemplates the difficulty he experienced earlier in the month flying as First Officer to a failed applicant from his SWA interview group. He then contemplates how he must now jerk gear for that guy’s former new-hire FO. He takes two steps up the jetway, pauses, then reluctantly moves to the cockpit to begin his work.
SCENE 3 synopsis: SPRING, 2013. GARY KELLY fields spirited questions from pilots at the SWA Training Center, trying to explain his recent decision to retire all the 737 Classics within two years and to defer a substantial number of new aircraft deliveries. His performance is remarkably calm and effective, considering the tension in the room, as he explains how the white-hot economies of India and China have driven oil prices high while the U.S. economy continues to sputter. His dramatic tag line:
“We have a 750 airplane fleet. Seven hundred and fifty! That is the most airplanes owned by a single carrier in the industry’s history. We are just too exposed to increased energy prices to grow; in fact, we need to shrink to reduce our risk. That’s the only way to salvage shareholder value.”
SCENE 4 synopsis: JOE LUV, a former SWA Lance Captain and current SWA First Officer, flies with SCABBY McSCABBERTIN, a former "Eastern Airlines pilot” who now is a fairly senior SWA Captain by way of the Airtran acquisition. (Writer’s note: I may delete this scene. Production costs can skyrocket when including violent fight scenes.)
Borrowed from the Prune so I can't take credit for it.:laugh: y.
So without further ado, here's the working draft of my screenplay, inspired by possible SLI solutions bandied about recently by industry experts, forum participants, and SWAPA presidential candidates. Enjoy!
SWA-Airtran: The Movie!
FADE IN:
MUSIC CUE: "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY" by Bobby McFerrin plays as we fade into:
INT. COCKPIT OF N342SW – EARLY MORNING, WINTER 2012
Tight shot on JOHN SOUTHWEST: forties, dressed in a pilot uniform with three striped epaulets. He looks straight ahead with a somber expression, examining his trip sheet and monthly schedule as he commences a pairing.
The camera pulls back to tight shot on BILL TRANNY: mid-thirties with four striped epaulets. He too is studying his trip sheet/schedule; however, his expression is one of pure joy.
Both men are very similar. Mostly likeable guys. Average pilots (although they both think they’re above average).
First set of lines from both characters are unspoken thoughts narrated by the actors.
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(thinking, as he studies the trip sheet)
Oh beautiful! A trip with a 93,000 number Captain. And in a Classic, too! Another stint as a freaking T-737-300 IP. And lots of crappy weather this trip. I think I’ll totally do a John Candy and tell him that it’s actually the FO who is required to land below 4000 RVR.(thinking, as he studies the trip sheet)
BILL TRANNY
(thinking, as he studies the trip sheet)
Wait a minute! Do you mean I multiply this bottom number by $175!? No way!! What is 19.5 times $175 anyways? (types into iPhone calculator) Holy crap! That can’t possibly be right! Wow!(thinking, as he studies the trip sheet)
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(thinking)
I wonder if the “costs associated with recent acquisition of Airtran” count against our frigging 1% profitability raise. Never mind, I don’t want to know.(thinking)
BILL TRANNY
(thinking)
Man, look at these hotels!!! Hilton. Hyatt. Not a single Red Roof Inn this entire trip! This is like a vacation!(thinking)
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(thinking)
Well, at least I got the 1-2-3 to help me through. (glances at trip sheet) Oh fercrissakes: Boston tonight! (sighs)(thinking)
BILL TRANNY
(peruses monthly schedule, then, thinking)
I can’t believe I get four days off after this trip. And 18 days off for the month! I’m used to 11 days off on a good month. This is awesome.(peruses monthly schedule, then, thinking)
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(peruses monthly schedule, then, thinking)
Crap. I gotta fly this trip, then only four days off, then I have to come back to this f-ing place for another pairing. (peruses monthly schedule, then, thinking)
BILL TRANNY
(glances over at John, then, thinking)
Looks like I’m getting the silent treatment from another uppity SWA FO. He probably thinks HE should be in this seat. Preposterous. I’ve come too far for that: I’ve survived crappy wages and even worse benefits, a terrible working environment, a horrendously confrontational management, flirtation with liquidation during the 2007 energy crunch, six years of contentious contract negotiations, and the very real specter of a strike action against Airtran. I deserve this!(glances over at John, then, thinking)
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(glances over at Bill, then, thinking)
How did this dude outflank me to the left seat? Man, that SLI with the “two-staple solution” really screwed me. Or was the ultimate negotiated solution some ratio of relative seniority? Or was it DOH? Man, I’ve been drinking so heavily this past year that I honestly can’t remember how it turned out.(glances over at Bill, then, thinking)
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK: DECEMBER 2004, SOUTHWEST AIRLINES HEADQUARTERS
JOHN SOUTHWEST and BILL TRANNY are stepping off the Renaissance Hotel van for their pilot interviews at Southwest Airlines. Each tips the driver $10 (rumors at the time indicated hotel van drivers were queried by the interview team about the candidates). The two men enter the building, then return hours later.
CUT TO: BILL TRANNY’s mailbox, January 2005.
BILL TRANNY receives a letter that causes him to double over in anguish. After recovering, he kicks his dog.
BACK TO COCKPIT SCENE:
JOHN SOUTHWEST
(glances over at Bill Tranny again, then speaks)
Don’t I know you from somewhere?(glances over at Bill Tranny again, then speaks)
BILL TRANNY
I don’t know. Maybe the pilot lounge?JOHN SOUTHWEST
No, you look really familiar. (pauses) Hey, I know…weren’t you the Airtran Captain in my interview group for Southwest?BILL TRANNY
I don’t know…when did you interview?JOHN SOUTHWEST
December, 2004.BILL TRANNY
Hey…yeah! Now I remember! Bill Tranny-great to see you again.JOHN SOUTHWEST
You’ve got to be effing kidding me. You didn’t get hired that day, I got the job, but now here we are in a Southwest cockpit and I’m slinging gear for you? Really?BILL TRANNY
Well, you need to understand about all value the pilots of Airtran brought to the table blah blah blah… (monologue becomes more unintelligible with each word). JOHN SOUTHWEST
I don’t know if I’m a big enough person to deal with this.BILL TRANNY
I know it may not seem like it now, but this is going to be a good deal for you. Trust me, I’m senior to you and know more about these things.JOHN SOUTHWEST
Yeah. I’ve heard that one before.BILL TRANNY
Well great! How `bout the Before Start Originating Checklist?SCENE 2 synopsis: Two weeks later, JOHN SOUTHWEST flies with former AAI pilot and current junior SWA Captain JIMMY CRITTER. After a personal resolution to put acrimony aside and be more personable, JOHN engages JIMMY in some polite conversation. They discover they have a shared acquaintance in BILL TRANNY. JOHN describes how he and BILL interviewed at SWA together in 2004. JIMMY proclaims what an amazing coincidence that is: JIMMY flew-as a new hire Airtran FO-with BILL two days before BILL’s SWA interview. Scene ends with closeup on JOHN SOUTHWEST. He solemnly contemplates the difficulty he experienced earlier in the month flying as First Officer to a failed applicant from his SWA interview group. He then contemplates how he must now jerk gear for that guy’s former new-hire FO. He takes two steps up the jetway, pauses, then reluctantly moves to the cockpit to begin his work.
SCENE 3 synopsis: SPRING, 2013. GARY KELLY fields spirited questions from pilots at the SWA Training Center, trying to explain his recent decision to retire all the 737 Classics within two years and to defer a substantial number of new aircraft deliveries. His performance is remarkably calm and effective, considering the tension in the room, as he explains how the white-hot economies of India and China have driven oil prices high while the U.S. economy continues to sputter. His dramatic tag line:
“We have a 750 airplane fleet. Seven hundred and fifty! That is the most airplanes owned by a single carrier in the industry’s history. We are just too exposed to increased energy prices to grow; in fact, we need to shrink to reduce our risk. That’s the only way to salvage shareholder value.”
SCENE 4 synopsis: JOE LUV, a former SWA Lance Captain and current SWA First Officer, flies with SCABBY McSCABBERTIN, a former "Eastern Airlines pilot” who now is a fairly senior SWA Captain by way of the Airtran acquisition. (Writer’s note: I may delete this scene. Production costs can skyrocket when including violent fight scenes.)
Borrowed from the Prune so I can't take credit for it.:laugh: y.
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