Are you f-ing kidding me? Never lied? I can only hope you're kidding. So a week before DFW closed and he was out in the CP's office and he said "I don't have plans for another ASA base and I don't want another ASA base. If I have my way, we'll never have a new crew domicile" I guess he wasn't lying.
As for your guarantee, let me quote Tommy Boy:
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?
Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of sh*t. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.