You'd think I'd learn!

[Northern Lights]

Don't drink two cups of coffee and then bypass the restroom on the way to the plane, because you are running late!

Anyway, I made it though the flight, but it's time to lay off the coffee for a while.

Good night.

 

[iahawkeye]

Glad ya made it, I had a buddy piss his pants while he was instructing. The great part was he had the balls to debrief his student after he was done! Hillarious.

 

[DenverDude2002]

Anyone heard the story about the B1900D that had to declare an emergency at KDEN while waiting for takeoff because the pilot had bowel issues? (I'm not going to tell the full story, its quite disgusting, but if anyone wants to hear it I'll type it)

 

[Vladimir Lenin]

type it, no bowel issue should go uncovered

 

[Oakum_Boy]

bRING IT ON!

 

[falcondriver]

During my initial training at Cherry, the copilot got sick and went in the back to take care of business. He came back 15 minutes later and missing a sock"no toilet paper on cargo Falcon". Five minutes later he went back again and came back missing the other sock. I felt bad for him. He had ate in Mexico the day before.
We also had a guy use a mail bag as a toilet and didn't tell anybody. Feel sorry for whoever opened that bag.
FD

 

[bafanguy]

Those would make great interview stories:

HR guy: " Tell us about a time when you....."

If you can't get the job, at least leave 'em laughing !!!

 

[Northern Lights]

Anyone heard the story about the B1900D that had to declare an emergency at KDEN while waiting for takeoff because the pilot had bowel issues? (I'm not going to tell the full story, its quite disgusting, but if anyone wants to hear it I'll type it)

I've heard something along those lines, however it may just be urban legand.

The version I heard goes something like this:

A 1900 is doing a turn in DEN, and the FO really has to take care of business (#2). But captain says that there is no time, so they set off for Wyoming.

Well, FO simply can't hold it any longer and um... soils himself.

I'm told that he cleaned up at the outstation, but his trousers we're not usable, so they found him a pair of burmuda shorts to wear for the rest of the day.

 

[lurker]

I learned his name at one point and subsequently forgot it, but I just knew him as "the guy who crapped his pants". As I recall, he had eaten a Que Bueno burrito and made the fatal mistake of putting "fuego sauce" on it. This was just before a DEN-Dickinson ND 2.5 hour flight.

The way I heard it, he made it most of the way to DIK. I don't recall any talk of a medical emergency, but I could be wrong. I do recall something about buying some shorts from the airport giftshop however.

There was a joke for a while of always remembering to bring an "ass explosion kit" with you on all flights after that.

 

[AnimalMother]

During my initial training at Cherry, the copilot got sick and went in the back to take care of business. He came back 15 minutes later and missing a sock"no toilet paper on cargo Falcon". Five minutes later he went back again and came back missing the other sock. I felt bad for him. He had ate in Mexico the day before.
We also had a guy use a mail bag as a toilet and didn't tell anybody. Feel sorry for whoever opened that bag.
FD

Let me guess it was a bible thumper with the inintials of J.K. right?

 

[Wankel7]

There was a joke for a while of always remembering to bring an "ass explosion kit" with you on all flights after that.

LOL!

 

[DenverDude2002]

as soon as i get done here in geology class, i will type the full uncensored verson of the story. some guesses have been close, but not 100% accurate

 

[FN FAL]

That's the nice things about not having to RON...no RUNS...no SH!TS...no ERRORS!

 

[Swass]

Arby's horsey sauce can leave a mark, in your skivvies.

 

[Hawker rider]

OH I had this happen once to a co-pilot of mine!1

he was " breaking quite a bit of wind" now and then, and it was getting very obnoxious, no smell just wasn't funny anymore.... the second one he cracked after I said to stop it, he looked at me with a face...I just can't explain.. but he turned sheet white and said.."Oh man, i just had an...an accident!" Since I had just told him to grow up a few minutes ago i started laughing, As a matter of fact I was laughing so hard i thought I might not even be able to land the plane. And this lasted for a good 5-10 minutes!!

After landing I let him get out first while I would take care of everything else.... it was just a customs/fuel stop.... he spent most of the time in the restroom, I can't blame him.

Priceless to see him get out of the restroom and walk through the FBO, having a few sheets of toiletpaper fall from the legs of his pants!

When he got up and moved to get out of his seat in the cockpit, this horrid smell started coming by, and I believe the only reason my food didn't come up was because I hadn't eaten that day.... i will never forget this.

He was very good about it though, and even got some depends!! never happened again, but he was a good sport about it, i would for sure have been soooo embarrased!!

 

[Otter]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by falcondriver
During my initial training at Cherry, the copilot got sick and went in the back to take care of business. He came back 15 minutes later and missing a sock"no toilet paper on cargo Falcon". Five minutes later he went back again and came back missing the other sock. I felt bad for him. He had ate in Mexico the day before.
We also had a guy use a mail bag as a toilet and didn't tell anybody. Feel sorry for whoever opened that bag.
FD

I heard both those stories, only as one story where the Falcon 20 was on a mail run coming our of PR, went back twice used the mail bags both times and ended up in FL sockless. The PIC loved to tell that story and I think he said he worked for Grand when he said it happened.

That one might just be urban legend.

 

[lurker]

OH I had this happen once to a co-pilot of mine!1

.. but he turned sheet white and said.."Oh man, i just had an...an accident!"

I think the scientific term is he "sharted"

 

[falcondriver]

No it wasn't JK.
FD.

Ever have your captain try and pee out the door seal of a cargo Falcon 20. It can be done but leaves streaks down the side of the plane.

 

[LAZYB]

I've peed into an airsick bag whilst towing a banner and managed to eject it out the window without wearing it. Modified C-150 w/6hr +/- range, pilot much less.