You might work in aircraft maintenance If...

[Gatorman]

I think that I hit on about 30 of these....how about you?


1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing
2. You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."
3. You've ever sucked OXY to cure a hangover.
4. You know what JP4/JP8 tastes like.
5. You've ever used a grease pencil to fix an overworn tire.
6. You have a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the supply system.
7. You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.
8. You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever spray-painted them black)
9. You refer to a pilot as a "stick actuator."
10. You've ever been told to go get "some prop wash and a yard of flightline."
11. You've ever worked a 14 hour shift on a aircraft that isn't flying the next day.
12. You've ever said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir."
13. You believe the aircraft has a soul.
14. You talk to the aircraft.
15. You've ever said, "That nav light burned out after launch."
16. You've ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.
17. The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.
18. You know more about your co-workers than you do about your own family.
19. You've ever looked for pictures of "your" aircraft in aviation books.
20. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.
21. You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"
22. You take it as a badge of honor to be just called "a Det Hound."
23. You relieve yourself more often outdoors than indoors.
24. You can't comprehend why everyone doesn't want to be a Maintainer.
25. You think everyone who isn't a Maintainer is a wimp....
26. You can sleep anywhere, anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.
27. You've ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.
28. Used dykes to trim a fingernail.
29. Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.
30. Worn someone else's hat to chow.
31. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.
32. Wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up stupid rules.
33. You've ever had to defuel an aircraft an hour after refueling it.
34. You've ever wondered why it takes a college degree to break an airplane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

 

[Weasel Keeper]

These were written for military, but most hold true with A&Ps too.

I've done most but I never wore anyone else's hat to chow. BTW, what's chow? :laugh: We were lucky if we got chow. Dang F-4s were always broke.

 

[sbn340mech]

Anyone who has ever fixed a fuel leak in the wing tank of a B1900 is very familiar with line 33. :angryfire

 

[RafaelThielmann]

only 18, but i'm only a few monts at the job, so you must forgive me...
and... have never slept on the concrete under the wing, but do it on first-class seats and on the MLG doors (when they're open of course)...

 

[Gatorman]

only 18, but i'm only a few monts at the job, so you must forgive me...
and... have never slept on the concrete under the wing, but do it on first-class seats and on the MLG doors (when they're open of course)...

Let me tell you something there skippy....

When you are able to check off at least half of those, then you might have something to say on a thread that I post. Most of us have more time bending wrenches on somebody else's chunk of poo than you have making a mess in your own pampers.
I am sorry kid, maybe in Brazil you might be making you daddy proud, but most of us would not want our kids anywhere close to an airport.

You want to be somebody? Don't be an aircraft mechanic!
My avatar is probably the only, most known, aircraft mechanic since the Wright brothers.
You want to make some money any have the possibility of becoming someone...get a degree as an engineer.



...otherwise, good luck.

 

[Weasel Keeper]

19. You've ever looked for pictures of "your" aircraft in aviation books.

F-4G 69-7207. "MY" lady in the late 80s. When she was mine she had a big WW on the tail for the 561TFS though.

http://www.airliners.net/open.file?id=0140065&size=L&width=1024&height=695&sok=JURER%20%20%28ZNGPU%20%28nvepensg%2Cnveyvar%2Ccynpr%2Ccubgb_qngr%2Cpbhagel%2Cerznex%2Ccubgbtencure%2Crznvy%2Clrne%2Cert%2Cnvepensg_trarevp%2Cpa%2Cpbqr%29%20NTNVAFG%20%28%27%2B%2269-207%22%27%20VA%20OBBYRNA%20ZBQR%29%29%20%20beqre%20ol%20cubgb_vq%20QRFP&photo_nr=1&prev_id=&next_id=NEXTID

 

[sbn340mech]

Ah yes, an engineer, hated by mechanics everywhere!!!

 

[pw4000]

Quote:
Originally Posted by RafaelThielmann
only 18, but i'm only a few monts at the job, so you must forgive me...
and... have never slept on the concrete under the wing, but do it on first-class seats and on the MLG doors (when they're open of course)...



Let me tell you something there skippy....

When you are able to check off at least half of those, then you might have something to say on a thread that I post. Most of us have more time bending wrenches on somebody else's chunk of poo than you have making a mess in your own pampers.
I am sorry kid, maybe in Brazil you might be making you daddy proud, but most of us would not want our kids anywhere close to an airport.

You want to be somebody? Don't be an aircraft mechanic!
My avatar is probably the only, most known, aircraft mechanic since the Wright brothers.
You want to make some money any have the possibility of becoming someone...get a degree as an engineer.



...otherwise, good luck.__________________
Yea, so YOU fly it for 2 or 3 hours and you think it is YOURS, but it is MINE when it is broke?

Gatorman you sound like a mad mechanic good for him sleeping in first class seat and not on the concrete . And why would you be a aircraft mechanic and tell some one not to be one? Hate your job? Sound like mabye you should be a engineer.

 

[avbug]

Reading down that list, I find that most of them apply, and most sound painfully familiar...not just as a mechanic, but also as a pilot.

In my case, it's mine when I fly it, and it's mine when it's broken, too. No rest for the wicked.

I can't count the times I've awakened with bits of gravel stuck in my numb face, under a wing. Or the dings I've gotten when I tried to stand up...

Or used safety wire as a toothpick. Or extracted it from my finger, in varying lengths, sizes, and snips.

Anybody ever use needle nose pliers to eat with? Or dedicated a small drawer on a rollaway to snacks...and found that it became the main source of nutrition after too many long hours in the hangar?

I don't drink, so 02 for a hangover has never been an issue, but it's kept me awake on some very long day/night/days.

Wheel chock as a hammer, yes. Hammer as a wheel chock. Yes. Been a wheel chock. Yes.

You know you're a mechanic when you can differentiate between stoddard and avgas by the way it stings the safety wire cuts on your fingers, without even looking.

You know you're a mechanic when your fingers swell and burn by even thinking of solvent or MEK.

You know you're a mechanic when your car is in worse shape than what's being hauled off to the wrecking yard next door.

You know you're a mechanic when you find yourself chasing down the Mac guy on the street, and hiding from the snap-on guy on wednsday afternoons.

You know you're a mechanic when you get your paycheck and you say "when do we get paid?"

You know you're a mechanic when you keep looking at want ads in Subway Sandwich and thinking, "I might be ready for the next step. At least it pays better..."

You know you're a mechanic when your rollaway costs more than your car, your house, and your kids.

You know you're a mechanic when you're paying your ex more for your kids than you can earn with your rollaway.

You know you're a mechanic when you wash your hands before taking a leak.

You know you're a mechanic when you quit reading the sears catalog because you already own everything "craftsman."

You know you're a mechanic when you realize that you can recognize your tools by feel and sight in a box of everyone else's tools, but only pick your kids out of a crowd two out of five times.

You know you're a mechanic when that no longer bothers you.

You know you're a mechanic because it's finally hit home, you've accepted it, and you're just getting over the depression. Remember, it's always darkest just before it goes totally black.

 

[Weasel Keeper]

I've never eaten with my tools...other than when I need a knife maybe. I did have a nice sized side drawer on my box that was mostly dedicated to snacks, candy, mints, cocoa powder for hot chocolate, and spare change for the snack/pop machine. Most of the guys in my shop knew where the candy drawer was.

Here's one:

You know you're a mechanic because the mosquitos only seem to come around when you're in the middle of something complex and can't swat at them (or your hands are covered in wheel/brake gunk, fuel, oil, or hydraulic fluid).

 

[Gatorman]

Gatorman you sound like a mad mechanic good for him sleeping in first class seat and not on the concrete . And why would you be a aircraft mechanic and tell some one not to be one? Hate your job? Sound like mabye you should be a engineer.

If I had the time and money to get my degree to be an engineer I would. Being a lowly paid mechanic such as I am and also the primary bread winner in the Gator household, I could not afford the schooling. Foutunately I married a wonderful woman with a bit of money sense that we are not up to our collective tail section in debt. I might even be able to get on of my kids into college with some of their grandparent's inheiretance.
I tell every young man I know that is thinking about college that they need to get a degree in engineering. Better pay, mostly a desk job, not having to work outside in the cold/heat/wind/rain and in high demand all over the world. I don't care what kind of degree in engineering - plumbing, home building, or aviation, just get that degree.

Now, that bit about me hating my job? Yes I do hate my job. My supervisor is flippid (telling people to do something then yelling at them in front of everybody for doing it and then saying that he did not tell them to do it), my manager has not spoken to me in months and has another job on the side plus farming out work that we could do. The sales dept has not brought in any aircraft in 4-5 months and I have been running a floor buffer for three weeks for lack of work to do.
Everybody that is left (they cut all of the contractors - except for the ones the manager has doing his farming), we are all wondering when we are getting cut.

Mad? No, I am pissed that the company I am working at is being run into the ground.

That is why I will be starting with an new company in two weeks.

P.S. If ever caught one of my mechanics sleeping in a VIP seat, he'd be fired on the spot. I guess that is the difference in corporate aviation and airlines. I have seen enough leather seats with holes in them from mechanics sitting in them with tools in thier back pockets.

 

[TrafficInSight]

I have one

You know you're a mechanic when you wear two T-shirts because the battery acid pinholes wont line up.

 

[vtwo]

You have been offered a SCAB job by NWA

 

[avbug]

You know you're a mechanic when you wear two T-shirts because the battery acid pinholes wont line up.

Or you can remember a particular cylinder change or job by referencing the oil stain on your shirt. Sort of like a logbook you wear.

 

[JediNein]

When the local FSDO sends new inspectors to your place for training. . .

You fly airplanes, but do not claim to be a pilot.

Your car's jumper cables have started Fords, Chevys, Cessnas, and the occasional King Air.

You have time on the wash rack in heels and a tight mini-skirt (male or female).

One of your birds crashes killing all aboard and you're pissed at the pilot for hurting YOUR plane.

You know looks can mean nothing.

FSDO's ramp check team hustles to your plane when you stop at the fuel pit, then wave and smile when they recognize you. They go ramp check someone else.

You've ever cussed a piece of equipment back into operation.

You wish you could get out of aviation, but know you can't. Anything else just doesn't cut it.

You narrowly avoid a hazmat citation during your last traffic stop because of all the chemicals in your trunk. The odd smells eminating from the back seat gave the officer probable cause for his search.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[Gatorman]

Good ones Avbug and Jedi....
....keep them coming.

You've stood in the exhaust of an APU or jet just to feel the warmth during the cold.

You've spent 8 hours in a class for the type aircraft you've been working on for the past 9 years to go down to the hangar to pull a pitch trim unit by yourself, run out to you car to try to catch 4 hours of sleep (at the airport mind you) to wake up in time to get back to class an pass the final exam.

Hauled a set of jacks in the back of your truck.

Drove the tug across the ramp to borrow a can of sealer (I am LMAO as I am typing this one)

Called the FBO to drive the AVGAS truck over to fill the tug up.

 

[Junkflyer]

...Taken your first shower in 3 days using bottled water and little bars of soap under a 747 being air-dried by the pack cooling outlets.

 

[Gatorman]

...Taken your first shower in 3 days using bottled water and little bars of soap under a 747 being air-dried by the pack cooling outlets.

Awwh come on....you've never done that!


Have you?

 

[Junkflyer]

I did this somewhere in the Middle East when I was riding the airplane as a flight mechanic. Our company flies a mechanic with the airplane on almost every leg (747's) The crews get off and on, but the mechanic continues with the airplane. When there is a long ground stop they get to the hotel for a shower, otherwise its continuous and short ground times like 3 hours or less. I'm an f/o now so I get to work less and drink more.

 

[Mr Wu]

You've used DC4 as chap stick.