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You might be a freight dog if...

SpatialD

Fed up
Joined
Oct 29, 2005
Posts
90
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4500
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it's so accurate I couldn't resist. I actually ripped it off from a post on PPRuNe.

WARNING: If you struggle with depression or ever have thoughts of suicide, better just pass this one by.

You Might be a freight dog if...


Your airplane was getting old when you were born.

You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months.

ATC advices you of smoother air at a different altitude, and you don't care.

When you taxi up to an FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take it back when they recognize you.

You call the hotel van to pick you up and they don't understand where you are on the airport.

Center asks you to "keep the chickens down" so they can hear you talk.

Your airplane has more than 75,000 cycles.

Your company call sign is "Oil Can".

The lady at the FBO locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on "making a meal of it".

Your airplane has more than eight faded logos on it.

You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains.

Center mispronounces your call sign more than three times in one flight.

Your D O mysteriously changes your max takeoff weight during the holiday season.

Every FBO makes you park out of sight of their building.

You have ever walked barefoot through the FBO because you just woke up.

You mark every ramp with engine oil.

Everything you own is in you flight bag and suitcase.

Your company office is a mobile trailer at the side of the ramp...

You eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner...

ATC always asking for pireps because you're the first one through in 3 hrs...

You lost your sunglasses a year ago and haven't bothered to look for them...

You wake up when the rest of the world goes to bed and go to work when the rest goes to sleep.

You smirk at all the american pilots asking for a ride report.

The cabin is never too cold or warm, always just right.

You never have to explain to anyone why there is a delay.

You're the one flying against the flow over the north Atlantic.

You're the one with the extremely wrinkled shirt because it doubles as your pyjamas.

Your dog barks at you when you come home

You have shirts in the cleaners on three continents

You've never met your chief pilot

You can convert dollars to won, yen, pesos, pounds, and francs in your head

Your frequent flyer miles exceed your salary each year

When you walk into the hotel bar wearing just a towel & flip flops !:& feel over dressed !!!.

You are cleared direct everywhere.

You start to wonder what's wrong with ATC if you haven't got your landing clearance by 50 miles from the FAF.

The first runway condition report of the day is given by: you.

You have never disembarked your aircraft on to a jetway.

When you forget to check in, and ATC doesn't seem to care...

When you wear sunglasses when it's a full moon...

When you get frightened when the sun starts to rise...

When there's never a line when you need to go to the lavatory...

When you get annoyed if you're Nr. 2 in traffic...

When you don't leave home without speedtape...

Your Boss say's 'Weather, why check the weather. Your going anyway so why frighten yourself'.

Your Checklist includes tape for the labeling machine incase the 'inop' stickers fall off in flight

When taxing in and out in your 747, you run you block time up by offering to give way to everybody.

When you are sitting at the hotel bar at 0500 Lt, wearing your high visibility jacket, and having your BBB (the very famous Before Breakfast Beer).

Your'e watching 'Top Gun', and when Maverick and Goose are being chewed out and threatened with "flying cargo planes full of rubber dog **** out of Hong Kong", you think "Hey, great job!

You get picked up as a vagrant on the ramp..

You wish you'd kept the piece of cold pizza..

Your children ask their mum who this strange man who sometimes visits is..

You find yourself watching people going to work through the bar window...

You wonder what a hostie would be like......then remember you married one in a previous life..

You can't work out what they are watching on TV when jumpseating in an EFIS flightdeck.

You have to wake up the customs & immigration people at the departure/destination airport.
 
Last edited:

pilotyip

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yes there a long thread on this very subject about a year ago. But I will add this, "You might be a frieght dog if you get hired by a major without a college degree, because they know you can handle anything, and they know you will be smiling forever because you never do the things listed above"
 

AdlerDriver

Can't even hold reserve!
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Posts
442
Total Time
6000+
pilotyip said:
yes there a long thread on this very subject about a year ago. But I will add this, "You might be a frieght dog if you get hired by a major without a college degree, because they know you can handle anything, and they know you will be smiling forever because you never do the things listed above"

Duuuuuuuude!!!!
UNCLE!!! I give up!!!! Give it a rest, will yah? We get it. You've made your point in the "million & one" other posts you've hijacked about this.
 

Draginass

Well-known member
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He doesn't even believe it himself. That's why he's got to say it over and over again.
 

2LT

No idea what's goin' on.
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Aug 8, 2003
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242
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.

pilotyip

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I know many ferigth dogs who made it to Air Tran, Jet Blue, Spirit without degrees. Why because they are good, it is a tribute to the fregth dog.
 

Catnhat

Well-known member
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Jul 21, 2005
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2000
I bet you could spell freight if you had a degree...

Where's Tony C???
 

Princedietrich

Retired Starchecker
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Oct 27, 2004
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1,437
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Enough
pilotyip said:
I know many ferigth dogs who made it to Air Tran, Jet Blue, Spirit without degrees. Why because they are good, it is a tribute to the fregth dog.

I also know many freight dogs who are the best pilots I've ever seen and yet Fed Ex or UPS or DHL or even Southwest won't even touch them.

Why?

because they're freight dogs.
 

aa30

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Oct 21, 2002
Posts
61
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>3500
you might be a frt dog if you dwell on the fact - nay lament - that you have no degree and try and sell your way to others. what a jack stick. give it a rest already.
 

SpatialD

Fed up
Joined
Oct 29, 2005
Posts
90
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...or if you can pee in a 20oz. Coke bottle in the dark without hosing down the whole plane. Btw, don't you wish those bottles held just a few ounces more? I hate having to cut it short every time when I'm almost finished.
 

pilotyip

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Wrong princeD we have had 3 frreght dogs go to SWA and 2 to FedEx, they love ffrieght dogs at those places
 

pilotyip

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1998 and 2000. Both ex military heavy pilots.
 

pilotyip

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No UPS that I know of, but they did hire a Drummond Island Air DHC-6 pilot back in 1990. We had 4 go to SWA 1998 thur 2001
 

Future SNA

KILL
Joined
May 22, 2002
Posts
244
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3000+
You might be a freight dog if the old planes you flew were such old piles, you joined the military, only to find out you're now flying shiznit even older.
<--------Case in point
 
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