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You May Be A Redneck Pilot If......

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You might be a redneck pilot if....

You might be a redneck pilot if....

This thread is taken personally.

Aholes!
 
Come on, dude....gimme a break! Agent Orange doesn't go well with anything but bacon and eggs! Everybody knows that!

No, that would be orange juice. Or napalm.

Agent Orange goes well with tuna fish, ham on rye, and any broadleaf plant. Think of it as salad dressing.


Aaah. Professionalism.

What I love is the atmosphere in many FBO's where those flying big equipment won't lower themselves to even speak to those flying little equipment. Many, many times I've seen it personally...watched pilots actually turn their noses up, literally, and walk away. It kills me.

Two such folks approached me when I was operating a 4Y years ago, and commented that they might like to try doing that work as a "hobby" when they retired shortly. One was a career military pilot and the other a retiring airline pilot. They were aghast when I told them they might just make the cut as entry level copilots, and might expect upgrade in ten years.

I wasn't kidding, but it was fun watching two guys who couldn't get enough of themselves and their "experience," realize that perhaps they were really just the same size as everybody else. Perhaps that does make me redneck...the honorable J Foxworthy notes that being a reneck denotes a glorious lack of sophistication. To that, I freely admit.
 
You might be a redneck pilot if
- You think a venturi is an air horn
 
You might be a redneck pilot if you put your cig out in your spitcan at FL190 at O-Dark-30 somewhere over the Midwest.
 
Redneck pilots

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front
of
her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how
much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch
this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen,
start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its
wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your
spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the
House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against
it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
 
You might be a redneck pilot if:

-your weight and balance sheet includes "case of Bud"

-you have a deer strapped to the cowling from a good day uh huntin'

-your airplane is on blocks in the front yard

-you mow the grass and find the airplane on blocks

-duct tape fixes the problem
 
This is no joke...

Today I was leaving Sun N Fun in Lakeland, FL and there's a bunch of ultralights taking off right over us as we're walking to the car. I look up and see this one that has a 3 painted on the bottom of each wing and the middle as well as "The Intimidator" written on it! I grabbed for my camera but by the time I brought it out to take a pic it was gone. I couldn't help but think about this thread and....
WizardPilot said:
You might be a redneck Pilot if you have a giant number "8" painted with "BUD" on the nose.
 
You might be a redneck pilot if...

You only fly left traffic (hey, if it's good enough for NASCAR...)

You're royally ticked off at the FAA because they told you "N3" is taken.

You ever regularly flew a Jetstream from Charlotte to Huntington, WV (y'all know who you are...)
 

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