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Would Jesus Eat GM Food?
- Thread starter kevdog
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Timebuilder
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To answer that question, you have to have learned about how Christ behaved amongHis disciples, and how He spoke with and dealt with Man throughout time.
My impression is this, He would taste it, and say that it was good. He would say that this plant improves yeild, and is more resistant to the pests of the field, and can therefore be used to feed many millions of hungry people the world over. I think He would see that as being "good."
My impression is this, He would taste it, and say that it was good. He would say that this plant improves yeild, and is more resistant to the pests of the field, and can therefore be used to feed many millions of hungry people the world over. I think He would see that as being "good."
Hugh Jorgan
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Timebuilder
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Hugh Jorgan
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Oh jesus (pun intended), I swore to myself I wouldn't get involved in any religious BS on this board, but....Timebuilder said:
Based on what you KNOW or what you BELIEVE? What I believe has no relevance here. What you believe does if you state it as fact. To presume to know what a dude who's been dead for 2000 years would say about something is...well, presumptuous.
And how do you know what he presumes....or should I say, presumed? $Hit....I took the bait hook, line and sinker. Can't believe I bit on those flames...
Hugh Jorgan
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kevdog
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Re: Hey man,
Taken from the onion...
JESUS DEMANDS CREATIVE CONTROL OVER NEXT MOVIE
HOLLYWOOD, CA—After watching Mel Gibson's The Passion Of The Christ Monday, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ announced that He will demand creative control over the next film based on His life.
"I never should have given Mel Gibson so much license," said Christ, the Son of God. "I don't like to criticize a member of the flock, but that close-up of the nails being pounded into My wrists—that was just bad."
Our Lord did not limit His criticisms to Gibson's Passion; He expressed frustration with historical inaccuracies in numerous film adaptations of His life.
"There have been a lot of films based on My life, and pretty much all of them have gotten it wrong," Christ said. "Just look at Godspell—what the heck was going on there? It's time I reclaim My image."
Christ said He considered returning to the physical world to make an accurate film depiction of His life for years, but seeing The Passion prompted Him to finally descend from heaven, meet with His agent Ronald Thatcher, and demand that He be attached as a producer on any future projects.
"Ron has a history of telling Me that the filmmakers 'totally understand' the Word Of God, and that the project is going to be 'fabulous,'" Christ said. "But when it comes out, it's all wrong, and Ron claims everything fell apart in post-production. At that point, there's nothing left for Me to do but say, 'Okay, fine. I forgive you all.' Well, next time, I'll be shepherding the project through from casting to final edit to marketing."
Describing one of His biggest complaints, Christ said that no film about His life has ever "made the apostles pop."
"In The Greatest Story Ever Told, the 12 are basically interchangeable," Christ said. "Directors get the piety, but they don't bring out the personalities behind the agape love. Some of those guys were real cut-ups, you know. Simon Peter could make you laugh until you cried tears of blood."
In order to bring these and other truths to light, Christ teamed up with screenwriter Ron Bass, who wrote both Snow Falling On Cedars and My Best Friend's Wedding. The two have been co-writing a high-concept script, temporarily called Untitled Jesus Project.
"We're still hammering out the treatment, but I'm really excited about where it's headed," Christ said. "It really beefs up My relationship with John the Baptist, something all of the other movies missed. They always put in the beheading, but they leave out the quiet moments when John and I would hang out, eat locusts and honey, and talk about the redemption of Man. I think our friendship will really resonate with a lot of viewers."
Christ said He is also working on a heist film based loosely on the loaves-and-the-fishes incident, but that the project is currently stuck in development.
"I tend to have problems pitching to studio executives," Christ said. "Last week, I appeared in a vision before a D-girl at Sony, and I said, 'Be not afraid, for I am Jesus—I have written a treatment and Matthew McConaughey is interested in the role of Herod.' Apparently, she was a little freaked-out by the vision and she ended up passing on the idea. Ron said that next time I should just schedule a lunch meeting like everyone else."
Returning to film adaptations about His life and Word, Christ said some inaccuracies can be traced back to the source material, the New Testament.
"Remember, at the time the Good Book was written, I was running around saving souls like a madman," Christ said. "I couldn't focus on a writing project, too. I basically gave My team of writers the broad strokes and hoped inspiration would fill in the cracks. Now, I'm not saying the New Testament isn't good—it is. It's great! But by the time I got around to reading the galleys, the monks had already finished the first printing."
The Lord Jesus did have positive things to say about Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation Of Christ.
"Not only is Marty a fantastic director, but the story isn't the same old, same old," Jesus said. "It's like The Gospel of Mark filtered through an episode of The Twilight Zone. I love it. My one problem is with the casting of Willem Dafoe. He's good, but I think John Turturro would have made a better Me."
In spite of His love for Scorsese, Christ said He has no plans to simply make "the next Last Temptation."
"My movie about My life will be the greatest movie ever shown," Christ said. "It should be the last Word on Me. No more animated versions, no more musicals, and no more movies where the scourging scene is so violent, you could put it in Fangoria. I mean, yes, being crucified is very painful. But I can't see devoting more than, say, three minutes of film to it."
Jesus added: "My version will have it all: drama, laughter, a spiritual message, and a couple of twists that will surprise even the most devout. The best part is that it'll be 100 percent accurate."
Continued Christ: "Even with the top-notch screenplay Ron and I are writing, I'll still need a great director to make the script shine. Unfortunately, Gore Verbinski is already committed to Pirates Of The Caribbean 2. If only he'd see that this movie is truly the career path for the righteous, I'd be able to get a firm commitment from Johnny Depp, too. Let us pray."
AV8OR said:
Taken from the onion...
JESUS DEMANDS CREATIVE CONTROL OVER NEXT MOVIE
HOLLYWOOD, CA—After watching Mel Gibson's The Passion Of The Christ Monday, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ announced that He will demand creative control over the next film based on His life.
"I never should have given Mel Gibson so much license," said Christ, the Son of God. "I don't like to criticize a member of the flock, but that close-up of the nails being pounded into My wrists—that was just bad."
Our Lord did not limit His criticisms to Gibson's Passion; He expressed frustration with historical inaccuracies in numerous film adaptations of His life.
"There have been a lot of films based on My life, and pretty much all of them have gotten it wrong," Christ said. "Just look at Godspell—what the heck was going on there? It's time I reclaim My image."
Christ said He considered returning to the physical world to make an accurate film depiction of His life for years, but seeing The Passion prompted Him to finally descend from heaven, meet with His agent Ronald Thatcher, and demand that He be attached as a producer on any future projects.
"Ron has a history of telling Me that the filmmakers 'totally understand' the Word Of God, and that the project is going to be 'fabulous,'" Christ said. "But when it comes out, it's all wrong, and Ron claims everything fell apart in post-production. At that point, there's nothing left for Me to do but say, 'Okay, fine. I forgive you all.' Well, next time, I'll be shepherding the project through from casting to final edit to marketing."
Describing one of His biggest complaints, Christ said that no film about His life has ever "made the apostles pop."
"In The Greatest Story Ever Told, the 12 are basically interchangeable," Christ said. "Directors get the piety, but they don't bring out the personalities behind the agape love. Some of those guys were real cut-ups, you know. Simon Peter could make you laugh until you cried tears of blood."
In order to bring these and other truths to light, Christ teamed up with screenwriter Ron Bass, who wrote both Snow Falling On Cedars and My Best Friend's Wedding. The two have been co-writing a high-concept script, temporarily called Untitled Jesus Project.
"We're still hammering out the treatment, but I'm really excited about where it's headed," Christ said. "It really beefs up My relationship with John the Baptist, something all of the other movies missed. They always put in the beheading, but they leave out the quiet moments when John and I would hang out, eat locusts and honey, and talk about the redemption of Man. I think our friendship will really resonate with a lot of viewers."
Christ said He is also working on a heist film based loosely on the loaves-and-the-fishes incident, but that the project is currently stuck in development.
"I tend to have problems pitching to studio executives," Christ said. "Last week, I appeared in a vision before a D-girl at Sony, and I said, 'Be not afraid, for I am Jesus—I have written a treatment and Matthew McConaughey is interested in the role of Herod.' Apparently, she was a little freaked-out by the vision and she ended up passing on the idea. Ron said that next time I should just schedule a lunch meeting like everyone else."
Returning to film adaptations about His life and Word, Christ said some inaccuracies can be traced back to the source material, the New Testament.
"Remember, at the time the Good Book was written, I was running around saving souls like a madman," Christ said. "I couldn't focus on a writing project, too. I basically gave My team of writers the broad strokes and hoped inspiration would fill in the cracks. Now, I'm not saying the New Testament isn't good—it is. It's great! But by the time I got around to reading the galleys, the monks had already finished the first printing."
The Lord Jesus did have positive things to say about Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation Of Christ.
"Not only is Marty a fantastic director, but the story isn't the same old, same old," Jesus said. "It's like The Gospel of Mark filtered through an episode of The Twilight Zone. I love it. My one problem is with the casting of Willem Dafoe. He's good, but I think John Turturro would have made a better Me."
In spite of His love for Scorsese, Christ said He has no plans to simply make "the next Last Temptation."
"My movie about My life will be the greatest movie ever shown," Christ said. "It should be the last Word on Me. No more animated versions, no more musicals, and no more movies where the scourging scene is so violent, you could put it in Fangoria. I mean, yes, being crucified is very painful. But I can't see devoting more than, say, three minutes of film to it."
Jesus added: "My version will have it all: drama, laughter, a spiritual message, and a couple of twists that will surprise even the most devout. The best part is that it'll be 100 percent accurate."
Continued Christ: "Even with the top-notch screenplay Ron and I are writing, I'll still need a great director to make the script shine. Unfortunately, Gore Verbinski is already committed to Pirates Of The Caribbean 2. If only he'd see that this movie is truly the career path for the righteous, I'd be able to get a firm commitment from Johnny Depp, too. Let us pray."
RightPedal
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Jesus loves crop dusters
I've found that more so than not, Ag-pilots are God fearing christian people,and Jesus cares for those that honor His comandments, and love Him.
Genetically manufactured food products are causing aerial applicator's to seek other employment. It's the same as an un-maned cockpits will put airline pilot's out of work, if it ever comes about. I don't think we will ever see commercial airlines flying around without a human at the controls in our lifetime though.
I personally feel that anytime man trys to change Gods perfect creation, it will fail. Try a Hydroponic Tomato beside one grown in the dirt. You ever eat an egg from a barnyard chicken? The egg you get from the store then tast and smell rotten. Check it out!
This reminds me of the joke where the man says to God, look I can create life just like you. See, I created this plant. Now I'll make a man. God says no, first you got to make your own dirt.
I've found that more so than not, Ag-pilots are God fearing christian people,and Jesus cares for those that honor His comandments, and love Him.
Genetically manufactured food products are causing aerial applicator's to seek other employment. It's the same as an un-maned cockpits will put airline pilot's out of work, if it ever comes about. I don't think we will ever see commercial airlines flying around without a human at the controls in our lifetime though.
I personally feel that anytime man trys to change Gods perfect creation, it will fail. Try a Hydroponic Tomato beside one grown in the dirt. You ever eat an egg from a barnyard chicken? The egg you get from the store then tast and smell rotten. Check it out!
This reminds me of the joke where the man says to God, look I can create life just like you. See, I created this plant. Now I'll make a man. God says no, first you got to make your own dirt.
skyking1976
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Timebuilder
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Maybe you missed my explanation.
Believers accept 2Timothy 3:16-17 as a fact. Without that, there is no foundation for our relationship with God, as we currently have it. That's relevant.
Now, if we have discovered the character of God in Christ through His Word, then we can easily see the opinion that He would assert, since GM food helps to feed the hungry, and has not been demonstrated to have any negative effects.
As I said, it is Christ's presumption that we have already studied His Word, and by doing so, come to know Him.
Last edited:
RightPedal
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it would have to be brisket. Jesus was a Jew, ergo, no pork shoulder...
Oh but I think you're wrong. He would set down to an all-u-can-eat pork rib dinner at Sonny's Bar B Q. He would bless it His Name and dig in with the gusto of a hounDog. He would be just like me and have that gooooood spicey sweet sause from ear to ear.
Oh but I think you're wrong. He would set down to an all-u-can-eat pork rib dinner at Sonny's Bar B Q. He would bless it His Name and dig in with the gusto of a hounDog. He would be just like me and have that gooooood spicey sweet sause from ear to ear.
Typhoon1244
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Hugh,
Accurate to say "who died 2000 years ago." Christians would strongly disagree that Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for that time, for if He remained dead, then there is no resurrection for anyone else either, and little or no point in faith.
As a matter of language, it's a small point; as a point of faith, it's absolutely crucial to believers.
Thanks.
Timebuilder
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Timebuilder
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Hugh Jorgan
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What an individual finds believable, or not, doesn't really correlate with what is or isn't true.
One can say "UNBELIEVABLE" about the theory of evolution, the big bang theory, and of every belief system one can name. And in every case, one would be wrong, as evidenced by the millions of people who do believe in evolution, the big bang, Islam, Hinduism, and a few things even more far fetched and "unbelievable" to the western mind.
The fact that I find the big bang theory to require a far greater leap of faith than believing in a Creator, doesn't in and of itself invalidate the theory, nor does your inability (or unwillingness?) to believe in the deity of Jesus of Nazareth invalidate my beliefs about Him, nor does either one really speak to the truth of the big bang theory, or Jesus' claims to divinity.
But, to millions of people, throughout history and across the plenet, Christianity is emminently believable, and far more convincing than any alternative.
Hugh Jorgan
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Hugh Jorgan
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Wait a minute. I'm getting confused here. Didn't you just post somewhere else that I'm going to hell?
So which is it? Am I burning, or spending eternity with Timebuilder and the Big Man upstairs?
(fingers crossed for the latter)
kevdog - you remind me of Jack Handy of "Deep Thoughts" - LMAO
Timebuilder
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Hugh Jorgan
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Timebuilder
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Well, it wasn't quite as funny as Odd Todd, and the best part was the attempt to recreate Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells theme at the end. 
http://www.oddtodd.com/
http://www.oddtodd.com/
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