Witch Church to go to?

[310]

The best looking women go to fundamental evangelical churches where the congregation is well educated. I also saw the results of a survey of married women, and the women that are Christian,(protestant) in faithful, monogamous, married relationships (marriages like the bible promotes), had the best rate of achieving orgasms and had the best orgasms. I guess there are advantages of being a good christian other than the great fire insurance.

 

[FN FAL]

MARIJUANA AND THE BIBLE

http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/hemp/potbible.htm

 

[FN FAL]

raid nets sacremental weed minister of marijuana goes to jail

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/126110_pot11.html

 

[Snakum]

I don't know where the best-looking hoes be hanging, but I do know from practical experience that Methodist and Baptist chicks are the easiest, with Episcopal and Presbyterian coming a distant second.

Forget Catholics and Jehovahs' Witnesses. You'd have to pry their legs apart with a crowbar ... even the divorcees.

Minh

 

[mizzouguy]

They say Stevie Nicks was a witch she used to be pretty hot although now she's a cow

 

[Timebuilder]

When Stevie was really hot, she had the "advantage" of being 24 years old and access to a lot of nose candy.

When she finally went on the wagon, she had nothing to suppress her appetite. She ballooned up to almost Anna Nicole proportions. She was pretty close to bovine size then.

Then, she started a sensible diet and exercise program, and still looks very good for her mileage, as shown on the live reunion show, the one you see on cable where they perform "Tusk." If you see the show being played, take a look at Christine Mc Vie, who has also grown up and turns out to be better looking now than she was 20 years ago.

 

[groundpointsix]

The Church of Cessnatology
http://www.jdm.org/projects/citationx.htm

Can I get an Amen brother?

 

[Timebuilder]

I am one of those people who believe that this kind of fundraising campaign reflects poorly on legitimate ministries. Maybe this is acceptable to some believers, but I know that my church could use that same money to save 1,000 times the number of people that Jesse Duplantis could do in a new 750.

I want to tell everyone here that his kind of personal aggrandizement is not typical of Bible churches. Perhaps someone had to become the next Jim Baker...

 

[snoopy_1]

The Church of Cessnatology
http://www.jdm.org/projects/citationx.htm

Can I get an Amen brother?

If that guy is getting people to give him money to buy that jet than there are some real idiots in this world.

 

[Snakum]

However, I believe in my heart at this time you getting that Citation Ten is more important. So, I am sending you this check for $3,791.00. Please put it toward your new plane.

Man ... I gotta get in on this TV minister racket.

As a matter of fact, I feel God is calling all of YOU right NOW to help me finish my Comm/CFI/MEI so I can deliver His word to the great unwashed masses of the Mid-Atlantic area in a Seneca III (B90 to be begged for later, followed by CJ)! Praise the Lord ... and pass the bucks.

PM for address to send check or money order. Personal checks will require God's blessing to be held until it clears.

Yaaaeeeyusssss!

Reverend Thich Minh Thong no longer .... now I'm ...

Reverend Toe-Jam Cornwallis of the Holy Church of God In Christ Without Blemish and Needing a CFI Job ... Hallelujah Brothers!

 

[Northern Lights]

I'm all for spreading the Gospel to the corners of the earth, but it just seems like an $18 mil aircraft is wasteful. How many missionaires could be trained and sent out with that money?

Also, I have problems with statements like "God told me to buy the jet."

The tv preachers seem to speak of health, wealth and prosperity. I'm all for those things, but look at the life of Christ. He is our servant king, not santa clause.

 

[wms]

I'm all for spreading the Gospel to the corners of the earth, but it just seems like an $18 mil aircraft is wasteful. How many missionaires could be trained and sent out with that money?

Also, I have problems with statements like "God told me to buy the jet."

The tv preachers seem to speak of health, wealth and prosperity. I'm all for those things, but look at the life of Christ. He is our servant king, not santa clause.

Like Benny Hinn flying around in chartered jets, and others using their "ministry" for personal gain. This is all without spiritual exercise. But they think they are deserving because they pretend to heal and do all sorts of things to deceive the naive.

There were no cases of paid clergy in the NT. The two closest examples were Timothy and Titus. Timothy was left behind in Ephesus by Paul and Titus was sent to Crete by him. These men were not hired nor were they on a payroll. And they weren't the primary clergyman of any church, but were sent to teach and encourage, which is what preachers should be doing today. The Lord used the generosity of the believers to provide for his servants. Paul refused payment from churches as a whole to preserve his testimony, and even did side work when necessary. And you can bet a good amount of what he received was passed on to others, not kept for himself as a "deserving" servant. When a church was encouraged to give as a church, it was done as a part of the worship meeting on the "first day of the week", 1Corr 16:1. This was a spiritual exercise to share what the Lord had provided for the needs of others. Offerings weren't meant to be a requirement of those who attended like some cover charge, but are a spiritual exercise to pass on what the Lord has provided with a cheerful heart.

 

[Timebuilder]

I find the idea of the $18 mil jet beyond "wasteful."

A friend knows a pastor of a small church without much money. During the week, he paints houses, and for a VERY low price.

It's all about having a "servant heart", not making people fall over on stage or jetting off to exotic destinations for photo ops.

I may have to write a letter to brother Jesse.

 

[Northern Lights]

Benny Hinn etc really make me cringe when I see them. My fear is that people are seeing Christianity as a way to a plush lifestyle. There are many great servants of Christ out there that will never have the world's riches.

I also fear that people are becomming followers of Benny or Jesse Duplantis or Rod Parsley and not followers of Jesus Christ.

I do have great respect for Bible teachers/evangelists such as Billy Graham (see my home page)
Chuck Swindoll and Charles Stanley. They make Christ well known without getting us distracted with all the glitter.

 

[Timebuilder]

2 Peter 2:1

But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction.

 

[wms]

I may have to write a letter to brother Jesse.

There are servants of the Lord who serve in various capacities and appreciate the generosity of other believers. Just as much, if not more than having their temporal needs met, they appreciate the communication and fellowship of a call, letter or e-mail.

I do have great respect for Bible teachers/evangelists such as Billy Graham (see my home page)Chuck Swindoll and Charles Stanley. They make Christ well known without getting us distracted with all the glitter.

If you watch Billy Graham, he doesn't solicit funds, he preaches the Gospel faithfully. The alter calls aren't scriptural, and I wonder how many have the misbelief that they are saved because they walk up, sign a card, quote a prayer or are baptised when they are caught up in the moment. However, the Lord has changed many through his preaching. Swindoll and Stanley are full of knowledge and share it with others in practical teaching.

 

[EagleRJ]

The Church of Cessnatology
http://www.jdm.org/projects/citationx.htm

Can I get an Amen brother?

Holy crap! (pun intended)

It's clear to me that any minister who has their own television shows filmed in aircraft hangar-sized churches, in which they make people faint by touching their forehead and ask people to "sow their seed", is neither a man of honor nor a man of God.

TV preachers like Benny Hinn, Rod Parsley, and Robert Tilton have nothing to do with true Christianity, and everything to do with fleecing a group of gullible followers- typically lower income and rural. The money they raise goes to further their personal lifestyles and expand the reach of their "message". It's essentially a faith-based Ponzi scheme.

It's nice to see Robert Tilton is out of jail. Hopefully he'll become a legitimate man of the cloth, and not swindle any more trusting followers.

'Avoid as you would the plague a man of the cloth who is also a man of business.'

 

[Snakum]

My father, a Southern Baptist Minister, who has never taken a dime of money and has led more than 20 churches (black and white congregations) always says "There is a special place in hell for those crooks." when speaking of Benny, Oral, Jimmy, and that idiot who looks like a werewolf and sells those yellow prayer cloths for $20 a pop.

I can only hope my father is, indeed, correct.



Minh

 

[avbug]

Careful there, snakum. I made a comment recently that the pilots or oral roberts airplane face the risk of not being able to land unless someone gives them sixteen million dollars, and onthebeach told me I have the devil in my heart. I was also told I'm going straight to where ever people with the devil in their heart go. Can't talk evil of the lord's unannointed ones.

You don't want to go and get yourself branded an evil devil-in-the-heart kind of guy like me. I'm still reeling from the shock. Really.

 

[Super 80]

If that guy is getting people to give him money to buy that jet than there are some real idiots in this world.

Jesse Duplantis Ministries:
"God has given JDM a commission to, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15). As these last days draw to a close, it's time to speed up the work and reach more nations with the Gospel. God will not be satisfied with a half-fulfilled assignment and neither should we."

Sorry, that cannot be done by man, and that command was not given specifically to you Jesse.

Jesse Duplantis Ministries:
In order to complete this assignment, God has told us to believe Him for a Citation X (10), an $18 million corporate jet with the speed and fuel capacity to fly anywhere in the world.

God has told us to believe Him for...? Wow. God will supply what you need. If you need to get somewhere, He can do it. God does not need you jetting in an 18 million dollar aircraft to preach to people living in mud walled homes in Ethiopia. I seriously question the issue here. Gazing at the Citation 10, it looks more like someone is displaying coveting than a zeal for the Lord.

MT 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, `Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, `I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'