Who's Got Some "Stuck Mic" Stories ??

[User546]

It doesn't take being in aviation very long to overhear a stuck mic on frequency, or even worse, you being the victim of a stuck mic.

Lets hear your best stories, either overheard on frequency or you experienced yourself!!

 

[urflyingme?!]

My buddy was doing unusual attitudes with a stuck mic on tower freq. Cussed up and down. Pretty funny.

 

[Lead Sled]

A few years ago some dipwad had one of those battery powered laughing boxes that he would turn on and stick in front of the mic. It was somewhat humorous at first, but it got tiring pretty quickly.

I've heard a few captain's announcements over center frequency. That always brings a torrent of wise a$$ remarks from the rest of the flock.

'Sled

 

[TIGV]

I was talking with my buddy on 23.40, Midway bound with Chicago CTR in the other box, a Gal was working Centre, she's great ! Always wishes you a : " Beautiful day ", anyway I tell my mate I'm off to get my 'anus ' ( That's: " atis " for those not in the know )
He replies: " You go grab your anus and come back an' tell me what it's like !"
The response was :
" Excuuuuuuse Me ????? "
Yup he was on the wrong box, I blew a snot-bubble I was laffing so hard.

 

[Propsfullfwd]

At the school I tought at we had a 172rg that was known for getting stuck mic's. So here I am on final and the student make the call and the mic sticks. So I'm yell at him to try to unstick the mic. He looks at me like a dumba$$ and I start to cuss at him dropping every word in the book until right before touchdown. When it unstucks. Right after that another instructor in the FBO comes on and and tell's me that I had a stuck mic. Well no $h!t. I walk in to the FBO and there is about six people waiting for there jet to come in. It turns out to be a pastor and his family. They were standing right next to the speaker while I'm dropping bombs thru. my students boom mic. That was the first and last time I cussed with a stuck mic.

Props

 

[Pilot124]

Tower: Piper 4147K contact departure on 121.35
Me: CMI dep 4147K 2 for 3

Dep: 4147K radar contact...(in same female voice as tower...or what sounded like her)

Me: "Its the same dumb chick" (mic stuck for a second or 2)

dep: No.....its not the same dumb chick!

Got vectored all over the place on the way back......

 

[Rattler71]

Use to fly Merlins for UPS many years ago. One night leaving SDF, we were about number 20 in line when a CASA ahead of us starting cussing the controllers for being so slow. They ranted for about 30 seconds when all of a sudden, silence, one of them goes, "sure is quiet", then the other, "f**k turn off the radios. The controller never said a word. When it was their turn for takeoff, he made them cross the runway and sit until everyone else had gone. The CASA guy knew better than to say anything.


Rattler71

 

[Alchemy]

I've told the Flight Attendant to "please be seated for departure" over the tower frequency once. Luckily that's the wost it's been for me.

 

[2000flyer]

Two quickies here:

First, enroute with FTW ARTCC, a female controller who absolutely had to have the side job of a 1-900 operator (or voice over artist) had just finished a transmission when her mic stuck. She says to her counterparts at the center "Who's ready to party tonight....I'll bring the beer!" Needless to say, every pilot on frequency RSVP'd.

Second, not only mic's get stuck... Standing in an FBO just after they opened. The linemen made it a habit to put the phone on page so they could hear it ringing when in the hangar or on the ramp. G4 arrives (Fortune 50 customer) to spend the day with them. Well, the linemen comes in and sits down at the desk and tells his buddy "Those mother f****** only want 500 gallons. I oughta shove the hose up that p***** a**!"

Needless to say, this operator who came to that airport 3-4 times a month never bought an ounce of fuel again.

 

[Vector4fun]

My first facility, Tower opens at 0600, and a commuter had a 0605 departure to ABQ in a Metro scheduled every weekday. Now, I'm pretty punctual, but a few of my fellow controllers have been known to be a little slow in the early am.

So anyway, we open the Tower, flip on the recorders, set up the equipment, and just like clockwork the Metro crew calls for his IFR clearance. But the Mike sticks. He calls again, starts mumbling, calls again, starts cussing, then he and the FO start discussing and cussing controllers who are either late or lazy or whatever. Me and my partner call the gate, but nobody answers the phone because they're all out loading pax, bags and standing by on the ramp.

This goes on for 20 minutes...

Gets louder and nastier by the minute. My partner and I are by now on the floor of the tower in tears of laughter at the names these pilots are calling us, because we know it's just frustration, and besides, we got it all on tape!

Finally, somebody answers the phone at the gate, and we tell them the crew has a stuck mike. He rushes out, and we can actually hear the guy run up the steps of the Metro and tell the crew. Loooonnng silence, then very sheepish voice calls for clearance. We read it and taxi him out, but we're still bustin a gut so it's hard to talk. Finally the pilot asks if we heard "everything"? Yep, got it all on tape, want us to do a transcript for ya? The poor guy apologised from takeoff and for 20 miles thereafter. We really just had a big laugh.

 

[minitour]

We really just had a big laugh.

Perfect reaction to it....it happens, ya know?

We had a guy in a 172 last week (keep in mind, our tower broadcasts online...so not only did Tower hear it, but...who knows who else)

Calls tower holding short"
"Tower, cessna 123 hold short 21 VFR west"
*silence*
"Tower, cessna 123, holding short of runway 21, VFR west"
*more silence*
"I hate it when these m***** f****** do this"
then the mic clicks off.
"Cessna 123, Tower, runway 21, hold short, traffic is a cessna 10 south for a right downwind"
I almost pissed myself...

-mini

 

[EagleRJ]

Tower at DFW several years back:

"American XXX Heavy, go around, fly runway heading maintain 5000 feet, contact departure 118.55............................................G*dda**it!"

Unidentified voice: "I feel the same way sometimes...."

 

[CUEBOAT]

once heard a stuck mic on miami appr two guys talking about michelbobs ribs in naples taht was pretty funny

 

[Brett Hull]

We were climbing out of Kenosha, Wisconsin one night in an old Lear 24. We flew freight so we just used the speaker and the hand mic. MKE departure hands us off to Chicago center and when my buddy keys up the mic to check in, the spring that releases the PTT button breaks. With the button stuck in and with the mic right in front of his face, he says in his unmistakable southern drawl (which is pretty funny coming from a Kuwati): "What the f*ck?"

Center: "Say again?"

Unidentified airliner: "It wasn't me!"

 

[Standby 1]

I've told the Flight Attendant to "please be seated for departure" over the tower frequency once. Luckily that's the wost it's been for me.

Just wait till you give your entire schpiel to the pax over center....there are those who have and those who will.







.,

 

[dkelly]

I was listening to the radio when I heard a fellow flight student with a stuck mic. I could hear the tower trying to contact them to inform them of the situation. During this time frame, the guy is switching headsets cussing the entire time. Finally, he finds that the push to talk has came apart, wiggles it and hears the mic unstick. The tower informs him of the stuck mic and the student requests taxi back to the ramp because of the problems. Tower replies "Yeah, we heard your comments".

 

[KeroseneSnorter]

Ahhh yes, beware the quiet center frequency........

I amend my post on the TCAS thing as being the best invention in 40 years.....the little "T" that displays on the radio when you are transmitting has to be a close second to TCAS as the best invention!

 

[urflyingme?!]

I dont know if this counts, but you ever turn down center on accident?

 

[cheater1239]

and often times the controller will call "everybody check their mic, there's a stuck mic on freqency" (as if the stuck mic a/c would hear that?)

similar situation to a stuck mic/PA on VHF, we would use "short count" 123.45 as a intercom in airplanes without a real intercom. so i had a girl that was in the front row come forward to look at the statue of liberty (JFK-DCA) and as she was leaning over the co-pilot trying to spot it in 3 miles/haze, i was giving a compete diatribe on what i thought of this knock-out and what we could do together. we were well past atlantic city before we let her give up trying to see it. when we got out of the navajo in DCA, a rear seat PAX stayed behind to tell us we were crude but hilarious, but we should check to see if anyone is listening to one of those new walkman things, we came over his headset loud and clear...maybe 1985...

 

[VNugget]

Setting: The first X-Prize launch at MHV, in the middle of a crowd of tens of thousands.

Over the PA: "Somebody with a handheld out there has a stuck mike, everybody with a transceiver please double check it."

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Same event:

Mission control (or whatever they're called) "Spaceship one, blah blah blah switch to mission 2" (or something like that)

Unidentified voice: "and, uh, what frequency would that be?"

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One time I called Ground on, um, ground point five.