Well, at first I was kind of joking . . . didn't know that you were so ignorant of airline operaions, so here goes:
1) "Critter" was 7 years ago, chief. There really isn't much left around here from that time. Different management, ownership, aircraft, FAA award-winning maintenance . . . and by October, even the last DC9 will be gone. In fact, the only Valuejet remnant around here is that every six months or so, some a$$hole will take a cheap shot at us, like you just did. Congratulations.
BTW, by October, the oldest airplane we have will be three years old.
2) $60K grand for an FO isn't too shabby. It pays more than many corporate Captain jobs, and our work rules, pay, benefit, schedules, SOP's and everything else are in writing, which is priceless.
3) My upgrade isn't determined by flight department politics. It's based upon delivery schedules, forecast retirements and my seniority number, I will be upgrading at about this time next year. We even have a computer program that allows us to to see exactly where we are in the process, at anytime.
4) You keep implying that I am somehow "just" an FO. which is pretty funny, because I was a Part 91 and Part 135 jet captain before I came here, and on the certificate of both TAG and BJS, with training at FSI and Simuflite, so you are really barking up the wrong tree.
At our airline, the FO is more of a co-captain than in a corporate operation. Trading legs is a requirement in our FOM; the only thing that we don't do as an FO is sign the release, "power-back" or taxi. If you should someday find yourself on of our flights, take a listen to the captain's greeting. Somewhere in there, he will probably have introduced you to his "co-captain", but I know, you are too busy tallying up your FF miles to want to listen to what he is saying.
Our curriculum for FO training provides more sim time for an FO than you probably got for any one of your type ratings, and when I show up for a PC check, (every 12 months!), we don't get warmup sessions like you do in corporate. We are expected to do our maneuvers to ATP standards and get it right the first time, cold. Yeah, it's a little harsh, but we're flying over 900 hours a year . . . . and I'll put my training, knowlege and skill in my airplane up against your skills in yours, any day, any time.
5) Apparently, you have a great deal of your self-worth invested in your paycheck and your job. Note that I haven't said squat about being a corporate pilot- believe me, after five years as one, I know the good, the bad, and the ugly, yet I choose here only to starighten you out about what it is that I do.
In closing, thank you very much for your concern for my well-being. Sorry about my crappy life, my miserable 4 bedroom golf-course home, my wonderful wife and two happy kids.
Maybe someday, I can be a real pilot like you, until then, I guess I'll just have to be . . . . . happy.