What is France trying to pull

[Metro752]

god I could swear I've heard that joke before.... does anyone know where I might have heard this joke before?

Anywhere but France, especially Britain, America, and Germany.

 

[TrafficInSight]

Anywhere but France, especially Britain, America, and Germany.

It was sarcasm seeing as how someone posted the same joke halfway up the same page

 

[Metro752]

Ooops,

I didn't catch it halfway up the page........But I was being serious You can probably hear that joke in all those places.

 

[EuroWheenie]

French Military Victories, your choice of pickings:

1st choice:

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

2nd Choice:
- Marne 1914 (French victory)
- Verdun 1916 (same)
- Franchet d'Esperey offensive 1918 in the Balkans (same, with participation of Serbs too)
- Repelling of the German offensive 1918 (Franco-British, the French part being more important)
- Rollback of German armies 1918 (French / British / American, in that order)
- Conquest of Italy 1943 (French minority participation
- Landing in Provence August 1944 (Franco-American, about evenly)
- Liberation of Strasbourg end 1944 (French victory ... not a large one from the numbers of units, but very important symbol)
- Conquest of Germany (Russian / American / British / French, in that order)