Ways to Piss Off TSA

[kevdog]

Just wanted to hear how all you pilots who love TSA deal with them...

I always like asking them if their gloves are new. When they say no, I ask why they wear them. After they answer, I ask them to put a new pair on since I do not want my clothes gone through with gloves that have been in other peoples bags. They usually have to go to the office for the new pair and it makes them happy.

Also, if they start touching you, you can ask for a private room and they are then obligated to take you into a room with a closed door.

When they look at your laptop, and do not turn it on, ask them how they know it is a real computer.

 

[MarineGrunt]

When my wife and I were on the way to our honeymoon, she was carrying a 20oz Mountain Dew while we were going through security. The person searching her told her to take a sip of her soda to "verify" that it was really soda. So she does and the TSA agent seems satisfied.

So feeling a little frisky, I said, "So how do you know that she REALLY took a sip it? Shouldnt YOU test it?

<confused look> "Well, uuuuuh..."

To which I just replied, "You guys are TRUELY amazing pieces of work."

 

[RichardFitzwell]

Just wanted to hear how all you pilots who love TSA deal with them...

I always like asking them if their gloves are new. When they say no, I ask why they wear them. After they answer, I ask them to put a new pair on since I do not want my clothes gone through with gloves that have been in other peoples bags. They usually have to go to the office for the new pair and it makes them happy.

Also, if they start touching you, you can ask for a private room and they are then obligated to take you into a room with a closed door.

When they look at your laptop, and do not turn it on, ask them how they know it is a real computer.

How about - GROW UP kevdog!

 

[TransMach]

TSA

Here's my favorite !!

I'm my carrier's Aircraft Operator Security Coordinator (AOSC). Our Principal Security Coordinator (PSI) called and scheduled an inpection. When he arrived, he was declined access to our hanger and records as he had no TSA or Dept. of Homeland Security identification. None!

They haven't gotten to that yet, they're too busy with searching carryon bags!

TransMach

 

[kevdog]

Re: Re: Ways to Piss Off TSA

How about - GROW UP kevdog!

Sorry Richie, I have my entire life to grow up, but I sure wish I felt like security was more than a joke, especially with our threat rating recently elevated. This is a safety issue!

I don't think it's immature to question security, I do it in a diplomatic way that has never gotten me into any trouble.

 

[kevdog]

Les, if you reread my original post you might agree another title could be "ways to get strip-searched by TSA"

I am sorry, professionalism shouldn't have a sense of humor.

I still think security is no better than before 9/11.

 

[sky37d]

I have heard of flight crews who said the wrong words to TSA, and ended up being hauled off. Aren't you playing with fire, and your job, for jerking them around. They, like you, are people who are just trying to do a job. Their job isn't as glorious as PILOT, but it's a job. Maybe you don't like it, but maybe they don't like you.

Quit being a d1ck.

Flight crews go through it a lot, and should act professionally.

 

[learflyer]

Why do you want to piss of the TSA? They will just piss me off by bringing out their pay stub!

 

[kevdog]

Les, is your point that you don't have a sense of humor?

 

[RichardFitzwell]

kevdog;

I’d expect crap like you posted from the general flying public. Many have already forgotten or never realized how 911 changed our profession forever.

Professionals (like us) should be above this type of behavior. Believe it or not, the public sees the way you are acting and it reflects poorly on you and undermines what they are trying to do.

You can believe in their efforts or you can brush them off as being a waste of time and money but giving them a hard time distracts them from doing their job. You are simply adding to the problem.

 

[kevdog]

Is TSA going to stop another Terrorist attack with airplanes? No, the terrorists are smarter than that.

If another Terrorist attack happens in aviation, bye-bye pilot careers forever.

This is my point.

 

[RichardFitzwell]

Good point. I'd rather be a part of the solution than a part of the problem. Wouldn't you?

 

[Erlanger]

Hey Marinegrunt,
When did TSA ask your wife to sip that Mountain Dew?
TSA is not allowed to ask anywone to eat or taste any food
or beverage. They also can't make you remove your shoes
either. But if you set the metal detector off, then they can give
you work over.

 

[kevdog]

Erlanger,

TSA made me take a sip of water I was carrying through. I had a vitamin powder mix in it that colored it. I tried to show the guy what I put in it, but he was only interested in me tasting it.

TSA has absolutely no consistency from airport to airport.

 

[BORN2FLY]

I'm not condoning immature antics. But, IMHO, I think we'd have an easier time dealing with TSA and take them more seriously if most of them weren't "knuckleheads" with holes in their faces, who've never seen the inside of a college classroom, yet they make $10,000-$12,000 more than many of the pilots their "screening."

 

[kevdog]

I'm not condoning immature antics. But, IMHO, I think we'd have an easier time dealing with TSA if most of them weren't "knuckleheads" with holes in their faces, who've never seen the inside of a college classroom, yet they make $10,000-$12,000 more than many of the pilots their "screening."

Don't they also get incredible benefits as Gov't employees?

 

[Dieterly]

our honeymoon

she was carrying a 20oz Mountain Dew

Have you and your wife appeared on "jerry Springer"?

 

[wildbill]

somebody needs to get a grip. For the many years I have been around and in aviation I have thought pilots had the best sense of humor. Dry at times,but fun. Now we have a whole new paranoid crowd. I say be concerned and cautious,but don't loose sight of who we are. The boogey man is not hiding behind the trash can and TSA people are no different than us. Even though they think so.

 

[BEXFlyer]

Lets not kid ourselves. I go through security everyday and I have been "harrassed" by the TSA more times than I can count. They are looking to intimidate flight crews. How do I pis them off? As I posted before, when I walk through the checkpoints I put on a big smile and I never say a word to any of them. They can't stand it....We get along great. Our company actually put out a email saying that we should not engage in any conversation with the TSA. That's exactly what I do (or don't).

 

[Tripower455]

Ways to Piss Off TSA

#1 best way is to show up in a pilot's uniform!


Actually, BEXFlyers solution is by far the best way to deal with these people.

Just let them do their jobs, after all, it's not their fault that pilots are subject to passenger screening.....it's OURS (this issue should have been nipped in the bud in '88, when we first became stars in "the greatest security show on earth")!

I've seen an improvement in the overalll attitude of the tsA folks in the last 6 months. I am one of their harshest critics, and feel that "security" is still a joke, but at least most of them now speak english, and possess some rudimentary manners when dealing with us and the public.

It's still ridiculous that the only employee groups that don't need to smuggle weapons through in order to take over an aircraft are screened while everyone else waltzes in the back door.