Six months after 9/11, we are increasingly called upon to stop being prisoners at home and hop on a plane in the name of God and country: country now a synonym for our economy, finances eclipsing all of American accomplishments and glories.
An alien landing here now might mistake us for the biggest big box store on the planet, without being at all reductive to reality.
If someone hasn't already sponsored a constitutional amendment seeking to add the late, great Sam Walton as a constitutional signatory, it's time someone did.
No disrespect intended to Thomas Jefferson, but it was Sam who refined life, liberty and happiness down to its true essence:
Bigger, better and more of it - for less!
As Queen of Luxe-for-Less, I'm all for anything that forwards the cause of conspicuous consumption at less than cost.
What with $199 airfare to London now offered, there isn't a terrorist in the world who could have scared me off that deal.
But I did flinch a bit on Sunday, during a television ad for a flight school in the Greater Hartford area:
"Bored by your current job?" the announcer asked. Call now, and soon, you too could have a glam new career as a pilot for a lot less than you'd think.
He sounded like those car insurance guys on the radio who guarantee you the lowest rate regardless of how many crashes you've caused and the number of points on your license - and I can personally vouch for those promises. .
So the moment I woke up on Monday, I started canvassing local flight schools on their tuition.
The average cost, based upon quotes from several schools regarding the cost of fulfilling the Federal Aviation Administration's training requirements (in other words, a bit less than average, since average people take more than minimum training to catch on): For a private pilot's license, $8,500.
For an extra 50 hours to be instrument-rated, another $7,000.
For a commercial license permitting you to do small plane work such as flying banners or writing smoke trails for malt liquor companies over beaches and carnival sites, add an extra $35,000.
As for the flight instructor's license enabling you to get commercial airline work: $168,000.
Sum total being $218,500. Cheap?
That's skyway robbery!
The beginner's return for which would be a base salary of $17,000 a year plus a bit extra per diem, bringing you to $18,000 or $19,000 to start, according to Chris Pierson of Northwest Airlines' corporate communications office.
That's presuming you land a job at say, Northwest's Mesaba commuter division - extremely unlikely, as they haven't been able to afford a new hire since last fall, according to Pierson.
Are you taking this in? Because I found it hard to.
An expensively trained civilian technician or honorably discharged military pilot qualifies for food stamps and all the American Pilots Association is asking the feds for is guns in the cockpits?
I'd be pleading for another Big Cheese Giveaway, like the one last sponsored when the federally subsidized dairy industry's stockpiles were dispensed to the poor: Please sir, may I have some more Gouda?
With no disrespect to airline hires, haven't we learned enough about what happens when federal employees work too hard for too little money under tense conditions?
It's called "going postal." I, for one, feel no need to learn what "going pilot" might mean.
Guns? So they can stick up the local food pantry? These men and women need raises!
And I'm not talking about Northwest's offer of 4.5 percent increase with an opportunity for future negotiations when the industry picture brightens up (nor singling out Northwest, when there are far worse airlines to work for).
Aren't the guys flying the planes as important as the guys working the X-ray machines, federally employed or not? Shouldn't they be making decent money from the get-go?
And if this is what Northwest pays its rookies, what about companies such as American Trans Airways?
"Oh, given their past record, they're a safer airline to fly than any of them now - they're being so closely watched by the feds," my boyfriend tried to reassure me.
Oh, yeah, watched by the feds. And he wasn't kidding, either.
He'd just booked two flights, one through ATA, another through a similarly small carrier to save money so he could visit a gravely ill friend on the spur of the moment. I was praying for one. Now I'm praying for both.
And also remembering to put in a good word for Northwest's striking pilots.
After all, I didn't forget to buy flight insurance for Jos, just in case.
It was never one of my "luxe for less" best bets in times past, but knowing what I know, it's got my Golden Tight-Fist seal of approval - as I'm sure it would Jos'(presuming he knew the policy I took out on him existed).
But why worry him? Bad enough seeing his expression when I reminded him to tip the pilot generously. "You want me to tip the pilot?" he asked incredulously.
In the name of justice and prudence, yes. Because if can't buy a decent life on what we're willing to pay them, we can hardly expect them to risk their necks to save ours.
E-mail: [email protected]
I got this from CTnews.com
An alien landing here now might mistake us for the biggest big box store on the planet, without being at all reductive to reality.
If someone hasn't already sponsored a constitutional amendment seeking to add the late, great Sam Walton as a constitutional signatory, it's time someone did.
No disrespect intended to Thomas Jefferson, but it was Sam who refined life, liberty and happiness down to its true essence:
Bigger, better and more of it - for less!
As Queen of Luxe-for-Less, I'm all for anything that forwards the cause of conspicuous consumption at less than cost.
What with $199 airfare to London now offered, there isn't a terrorist in the world who could have scared me off that deal.
But I did flinch a bit on Sunday, during a television ad for a flight school in the Greater Hartford area:
"Bored by your current job?" the announcer asked. Call now, and soon, you too could have a glam new career as a pilot for a lot less than you'd think.
He sounded like those car insurance guys on the radio who guarantee you the lowest rate regardless of how many crashes you've caused and the number of points on your license - and I can personally vouch for those promises. .
So the moment I woke up on Monday, I started canvassing local flight schools on their tuition.
The average cost, based upon quotes from several schools regarding the cost of fulfilling the Federal Aviation Administration's training requirements (in other words, a bit less than average, since average people take more than minimum training to catch on): For a private pilot's license, $8,500.
For an extra 50 hours to be instrument-rated, another $7,000.
For a commercial license permitting you to do small plane work such as flying banners or writing smoke trails for malt liquor companies over beaches and carnival sites, add an extra $35,000.
As for the flight instructor's license enabling you to get commercial airline work: $168,000.
Sum total being $218,500. Cheap?
That's skyway robbery!
The beginner's return for which would be a base salary of $17,000 a year plus a bit extra per diem, bringing you to $18,000 or $19,000 to start, according to Chris Pierson of Northwest Airlines' corporate communications office.
That's presuming you land a job at say, Northwest's Mesaba commuter division - extremely unlikely, as they haven't been able to afford a new hire since last fall, according to Pierson.
Are you taking this in? Because I found it hard to.
An expensively trained civilian technician or honorably discharged military pilot qualifies for food stamps and all the American Pilots Association is asking the feds for is guns in the cockpits?
I'd be pleading for another Big Cheese Giveaway, like the one last sponsored when the federally subsidized dairy industry's stockpiles were dispensed to the poor: Please sir, may I have some more Gouda?
With no disrespect to airline hires, haven't we learned enough about what happens when federal employees work too hard for too little money under tense conditions?
It's called "going postal." I, for one, feel no need to learn what "going pilot" might mean.
Guns? So they can stick up the local food pantry? These men and women need raises!
And I'm not talking about Northwest's offer of 4.5 percent increase with an opportunity for future negotiations when the industry picture brightens up (nor singling out Northwest, when there are far worse airlines to work for).
Aren't the guys flying the planes as important as the guys working the X-ray machines, federally employed or not? Shouldn't they be making decent money from the get-go?
And if this is what Northwest pays its rookies, what about companies such as American Trans Airways?
"Oh, given their past record, they're a safer airline to fly than any of them now - they're being so closely watched by the feds," my boyfriend tried to reassure me.
Oh, yeah, watched by the feds. And he wasn't kidding, either.
He'd just booked two flights, one through ATA, another through a similarly small carrier to save money so he could visit a gravely ill friend on the spur of the moment. I was praying for one. Now I'm praying for both.
And also remembering to put in a good word for Northwest's striking pilots.
After all, I didn't forget to buy flight insurance for Jos, just in case.
It was never one of my "luxe for less" best bets in times past, but knowing what I know, it's got my Golden Tight-Fist seal of approval - as I'm sure it would Jos'(presuming he knew the policy I took out on him existed).
But why worry him? Bad enough seeing his expression when I reminded him to tip the pilot generously. "You want me to tip the pilot?" he asked incredulously.
In the name of justice and prudence, yes. Because if can't buy a decent life on what we're willing to pay them, we can hardly expect them to risk their necks to save ours.
E-mail: [email protected]
I got this from CTnews.com
