TSA, even worse than I thought!

[Captain Morgan]

Being a former regional pilot, I thought this was amusing as I have experienced TSA first hand. I am employed in a different sector of the aviation industry now, but I figured this forum would benefit from this comic relief more than the cargo or corporate would. A few days ago I was at training in Dallas at CAE Simuflite. Apart from studying and grabbing a few pints after class, I decided to stray around the airport grounds and found a pretty good viewing area complete with trashcans and park benches. While I was there relaxing, I met a few blokes from across the pond. It turns out these old English gentlemen had a hobby where they travel to different airports and look for specific N numbers and cross it off a list. Sort of a global airplane scavenger hunt. We struck up a conversation and they began to tell me how rediculous TSA is and how they've been poked and searched almost everytime they go through a checkpoint. This is the best part. The guy went on to describe one instance where a PHL TSA screener picked up his telescope, proceeded to look through the wrong end and ask what it was. He then told her what it was and she (the TSA screener) couldn't believe that there was such a thing that existed. I was so embarrased for our country and our industry. I must have laughed my arse off for a good 5 minutes just imagining how silly these people who supposedly have our safety in their hands are. Well, I don't know if there is a thread out there about the stupidest things you've witnessed TSA do but, feel free to record them here. Let's all have a good laugh, and have a pint!

 

[Future Furlough]

... The guy went on to describe one instance where a PHL TSA screener picked up his telescope, proceeded to look through the wrong end and ask what it was. He then told her what it was and she (the TSA screener) couldn't believe that there was such a thing that existed.

Dang, he's lucky they didn't confiscate it! TSA - taking stuff away, one passenger at a time.

 

[lrn2fly]

What they never seen Swedish-made penis enlargers. Yeahh Baby!

 

[vectorvictor]

I got the "physical" search treatment the other week in an EAS airport that I had just flown the aircraft into. I had the four SSSS's of death on my boarding pass. The tool wouldn't let me return to the gate agent (20 ft away) to get a boarding pass without the SSSS's. There were 6 TSA agents to screen 8 passengers. And we wonder where all the aviation taxes are going. At least Walmart has some competition now for employees so hopefully those folks will see an improvement in their compensation. Security begins with the crash axe folks.

 

[Future Furlough]

What they never seen Swedish-made penis enlargers. Yeahh Baby!

You put the GRRRRRRR back in groovy, baby!

 

[DrewBlows]

What they never seen Swedish-made penis enlargers. Yeahh Baby!

Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

 

[CVG72]

I get the dreaded SSSS on my borading card almost every week. last week-end, i played reversed psychology with the TSA workers. I was late. I told them : "that will teach me a lesson, i need to get here earlier, do what you need to do" 3 of them rushed thru my bag and got me out in less than 4 minutes.... when i am all frantic, they seem to enjoy it more.

I carry bike racing wheels, bike pedals in my carry on, that usually gets a few of them looking at them, even after explaining, they still don't know what that's for. now i put my pedals in a ziploc bag, to make it OBVIOUS for them.

Just got my CLEAR card, trying it for first time tomorrow (i know i will be SSSS again) can't wait to see if it will go quicker.