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Tough situation, please help!!

  • Thread starter C172Guy
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  • Watchers 6

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So far I have not made any posts on this board. I have only viewed others posts, but I've got a situation that I really need your guys' advice on, and I must seek help from someone. Since a lot of you guys are professional pilots, I figured you could help me on this more than anyone else.

First of all, I am 23 years old, and I'm in my junior year of college engaged to be married. I am an Aerospace Administration major, which is a business/aviation major. Recently I have been working on my private liscence, to get a taste of some actual flying instead of just business. It didn't take me long to realize that I love the actual flying part of aviation 10 X better than the business part. Now instead of going into the business field, I have thought this through, and I've decided that I want to try to go ahead and do all the training and be a pilot. I've always dreamed of being an airline pilot, but for some reason I've never really acted on it.

Here's the thing. I have discussed this thoughorly with my fiance. She is happy tht I want to chase my dream and she supports me all the way with it. However there is one thing that worries both of us. Her and I know thta pilots are away from home a lot, and we are a little concerned how that would go over with us. I think I'd be fine with it because I'm a little more independent than she is. Not to mention I'd be doing what I love, which would make it that much easier for me. But I'm a little worried about she'd handle it. She doesn't do so well when she can't be with me. In high school I played baseball, and in the summers I'd be gone a lot for out of town games. She didn't like it when I was gone. She has said that she has no intentions of leaving me if I do this, but I she still says she is a little worried how it would be.

What should I do? I don't think I'd be happy if I didn't go for this. But if I did, would that mean it would put my marriage in jeapordy? Have any of you ran into a similar situation? How do you guys handle this type of thing? Or am I just plain old SOL? Please try to shed some light on this for me. Thank you.

P.S. I know this isn't a forum about relationships, but you guys are the only ones I know that could help me. And sorry this is so long. Thanks again.
Go for the flying dude!

1. finish your degree
2. at least get your private license
3. then decide further..........................
You better ask "Nicole". She seem to have all the experience in these matters. Good luck though, I'm sure you two will make the right decisions. :cool:
I'll let Dr. Laura handle the aspects of your relationship, but as far as flying goes, finish the degree and get a stable job first. Continue training, and perhaps wangle a way to get your employer to help pay for it. You could do flight instruction on the weekends for a few hours, giving you some time away from a screaming offspring and giving you wife some time with her mother, whom I surmise will be less than ten miles away.

Other scenarios could include weekday 135 work, or corporate flying, which brings the pilot home for the weekend, if not every night.

On a personal note, when I first started working in radio, I had a girlfriend who got hysterical one evening because she was at home, by herself, while I was producing a show at the station, a mere 12 minutes away. I had to hand the show over to an assistant to leave and calm her down. No intruder or prowler, she was just bonkers without attention. While not every woman is the high strung model type, I'd proceed cautiously. These personality traits are very difficult to modify, and in fact, could become more intense. Just a brotherly word of advice.
Good luck with both. If you both want it to happen then it will. "Relationships are reciprocal, you need to listen to a girl. Come on Casanova, i'll take you back to your friends"... oh sorry, got carried away with the movie quotes again.

The way i have always heard it referred to is AIDS...


A very common "syndrome" within the aviation community. It happens with all of the long trips away from home. But, it doesn't have to happen to everyone. Both of you can work on making it work and things will be great. Always chase your dreams, and let nothing come between you.
Your road ahead to an airline career is a long one. Once you decide flying is for you, take the necessary steps for your career. Sounds like you are already at an aviation school. So, if you have the money or loans, gain all the necessary ratings to flight instructor. Then build your hours until you are marketable to commuters or finally the majors. Consider the Guard/Reserve as an option. Depending on the state you live in, they are all hiring. Our Michigan C-130 guard unit is hiring people off the street with a private license and sending them to military flight school (UPT). It's a great way to gain quality hours and network with the guys who have airline jobs in the unit.

About the lady. Sure, there are times you'll have to be gone from home in the airline business. You'll also miss a lot of holidays, birthdays etc. If you commute to your base, you'll be gone a lot. But I live at my base for NWA. I bid reserve and am gone not more than 10 days a month, sometimes less. Whilie I'm on reserve, I'm at home or around town with my cell phone. You're given a guaranteed 75 hours a month. To persuade the lady...I'll make a 6 figure salary and do what I enjoy! You have a benefit package that is the best in the world. You'll even get a 6 figure retirement income. It took me 10 years of military time to get where I am today. If you talk to civilian pilots working at the commuters, it takes a little less time. However, the pay at commuters stinks and the days are long. It's not an easy road, but when you get there, it's GREAT!!!
YOU have a bit of time...

Before all that kicks in.

Get the degree. That will take a while.
Build your hours. That will take a while.
You two will have those years under your belt to decide if you like EACH OTHER.

I am a firm believer in failing. I learned almost all of the good things I learned in life from trying, getting it wrong and trying again. Those are the lessons that count.

I am also in favor of giving it your best shot. Now I am not sure how you feel about marriage, but if you both do that for better or worse thing, and you both mean to keep up your end of the bargain, it should work out fine.
HECK you are 23!!! YOU won't grow up until you are 40 and she may be happy to have the time off by the time you are on a rotten schedule and only home to disrupt the routine.

GO FORWARD. It will either turn out badly or well. I hate it when people are so cautious they miss out on all the fun. Divorce is the intellegent end to a really good idea that just needed re-thinking. Dropping your dream is a lifelong regret.

If she is the one holding you back, talk and talk and talk and be sure she really wants YOU, not your potential. We girls love to plan. It is a good thing initially but we are really tied into who we think the GUY of our dreams should be. Timebuilder is absolutely right, I have flaked myself... not no 15 minutes away... (I believe I had a great reason for flakin' :D he was not so sure) but I know phone calls are rotten ways to work out relationship problems.

LIKE each other. That is my advice.
I was just telling a pilot's girlfriend NOT to put her life on hold for him and I guess I truly believe it is the same for you. If you have to do too many backflips for her, you will just be miserable too.

Take one step at a time and throw it up to the gods!!!!
Have fun,

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