Top Gun Pilot @ AA

[HighSpeedClimb]

I Am The 'Top Gun' Of Commercial Airline Pilots


By Capt. Ron
"Mongoose"
Haller
American Airlines

I've been piloting DCs and 7s for American Airlines going on 15 years now, and I don't mind telling you, I'm the best there is. The Navy's flight school can only have one "Top Gun," and the same is true in commercial aviation. There are many great pilots at American and the other airlines, but none have the speed, wits, and solid-brass balls that I do. That's right, Capt. Ron "Mongoose" Haller is the Top Gun of airline pilots.
To date, I've captained 2,947 domestic flights, and every single one arrived on time. Weather delays, safety procedures, FAA orders—it takes a hell of a lot more than all that to ground Mongoose, baby.
What's my secret? Nothing fancy, no hocus pocus. I just know my sh&t—and treat the plane like a beautiful woman.
One time, on a coast-to-coast, Engine Three went out over the Rockies. According to procedure, I'm supposed to radio a distress and land at the nearest airport. But I said to hell with that: Call me a wild card, a loose cannon, but Mongoose has never been one who slavishly follows "proper procedure." Besides, I've got 241 passengers who need to get to Frisco. I kept that bird up for 500 more miles and landed 12 minutes early.
Now, the pinstripers weren't too thrilled about that, but I know how to keep them at bay. They can threaten to bust me down to Navigator, but I know they'd never actually go through with it. Why? Because I'm the best they've got.
Then there was Flight 701 from Dulles to JFK a couple years back. We taxied almost 40 minutes late, and still those gutless sonofabitch controllers tried to put me in a takeoff queue. I knew the flight could land on time if I went for it, so I cut across the median and grabbed Runway F, which was down for routine maintenance. The lead controller screamed a blue streak, but I got those passengers into Terminal C three minutes ahead of schedule. To this day, the FAA still rides my ass about that one, carrying on with their by-the-book bullsh&t.
I'll tell you the real reason for my being on the FAA's ******************** list. Let's just say Chief Boswell still hasn't forgotten about a little "incident" in flight school 20 years ago.
It was Aug. 14, 1982. I was a cocky young buck then, at the stick of a DC-9 for the first time in my life. Boswell was my instructor. At 13,000 feet and climbing, he radios me to cut the fuel and land because of a radar problem on their end. Like I'm gonna cut my flight just because their damn ears are off. So I kept climbing to 20K, until that zero-visibility pinhead threatened to expel and blacklist me from every flight school in the country if I didn't make nice and come down.
Well, I knew when I was beaten, but I got the last word by buzzing the tower, pulling away at the last possible second. I swear I saw that hardass dive under the console for cover, right in front of the CEO of Boeing. Later on, I heard Boswell was wearing different pants for the rest of the day. He never forgave me for humiliating him like that, and I only made it worse six years ago by taking the sexy stewardess he was looking to score with to the Norfolk Hilton for a night of sweet Mongoose Love. He's never forgotten that (and neither has that stewardess, I'm sure). To this day, Boswell rides my ass about every last rule in the book, every chance he gets.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in the importance of rules and regulations for protecting clueless greenhorn pilots from themselves. But we're talking about Mongoose here. I laugh at air pockets. Turbulence is a walk in the park for me. Once, when a blizzard was approaching the East Coast, I maxed all the engines and went from LAX to Logan in five hours, still a passenger-aviation record. Did I break a sweat? Hell, no. I had Steel copiloting. With the Steel-Man to my right, I could scratch a cockroach's back with a 747 and still land at O'Hare under the gun.
I have no patience for suits riding my ass about "the book says this" or "regulations say that." Or "a standard-issue Captain's hat does not have claws embroidered on it" or "every passenger on that flight has joined a class-action suit because they believed they were going to die." Hell, if those passengers don't think flying under the St. Louis Arch at 600 mph makes for a great story, they don't deserve to fly Mongoose Air.
People say I'd be good enough to fly Air Force One if I weren't such a pistol. That's no skin off my ass. Let some namby-pamby milquetoast Air Force honors-student be a once-a-month chauffeur for the world's most overpaid kingfish. Mongoose serves the people.

 

[Gorilla]

"Bust me down to navigator?" I thought the Onion did its research better than that.

 

[aa73]

I've seen this same article with just about every major airline's name at the top... nothin' new. But pretty entertaining reading!

73

 

[skiandsurf]

I've seen this same article with just about every major airline's name at the top... nothin' new. But pretty entertaining reading!

73

This must be "UndauntedFlyer".

 

[stlflyguy]

I've seen this same article with just about every major airline's name at the top... nothin' new. But pretty entertaining reading!

73

With the exception that at American it's actually a culture.....

stlflyguy

 

[aa73]

With the exception that at American it's actually a culture.....

stlflyguy

Not really.... but whatever floats your boat.

73

 

[PHXFLYR]

Aw,come on,man. Admit it. That's you in that story,isn't it?


PHXFLYR

 

[AA717driver]

You could put Ozark, old-Piedmont or pre-1988 USAir in the title and be pretty close...

They did things a little "different" back then. TC

 

[aa73]

Aw,come on,man. Admit it. That's you in that story,isn't it?


PHXFLYR

Awww, OK <sheepish grin>.... Busted!

Seriously, this describes just about any airline back in the 50s/60s, and went away for the most part after the introduction of CRM, courtesy of UAL pilots.

73

 

[Ty Webb]

I think I ran into that guy in the ATL Training Center once . . .



.



.

 

[Rik717pilot]

Pretty funny comedy crap. But then again, probably how the AA$$whole SNB's think of themselves as a group especially after they phuqued the Reno and TWA guys!

 

[PHXFLYR]

Awww, OK <sheepish grin>.... Busted!

Seriously, this describes just about any airline back in the 50s/60s, and went away for the most part after the introduction of CRM, courtesy of UAL pilots.

73

Isn't that the truth? I used to pump gas at the local FBO during the mid to late 70's. Had a TWA 707 International Captain who kept his restored Cessna 195 there. Typical holier-than-though attitude typical of line pilots of that era with ego to match. A 5 day trip to Europe with him must have been a real treat. Thank the good Lord we have a "no fly list" at our shop.


PHXFLYR

 

[aa73]

Pretty funny comedy crap. But then again, probably how the AA$$whole SNB's think of themselves as a group especially after they phuqued the Reno and TWA guys!

Not quite, Rik... actually, a lot of us feel pretty bad about what our unions did - but we don't hold ourselves responsible, since it was all negotitated behind our backs. If anything, we think of ourselves susceptible to as many screw ups as any other airline out there - because it's happened to us more than a few times.

I've tried to hold rational conversations with you over this issue but you are so hell bent on sounding like a pompous a$$ that it's really not worth it...

Perhaps you could draw upon the fine legacy that the pilots from your airline are famous for and show a little more maturity and professionalism in your posts, as most of us do, rather than trying to sound like King Kong with a hard on. Good day sir, 73

 

[aa73]

Isn't that the truth? I used to pump gas at the local FBO during the mid to late 70's. Had a TWA 707 International Captain who kept his restored Cessna 195 there. Typical holier-than-though attitude typical of line pilots of that era with ego to match. A 5 day trip to Europe with him must have been a real treat. Thank the good Lord we have a "no fly list" at our shop.


PHXFLYR

Yeah, every airline has its share... No fly lists are awesome! Oh wait - I'm on reserve, doesn't apply to me. :blush:

 

[stlflyguy]

Not quite, Rik... actually, a lot of us feel pretty bad about what our unions did - but we don't hold ourselves responsible, since it was all negotitated behind our backs. If anything, we think of ourselves susceptible to as many screw ups as any other airline out there - because it's happened to us more than a few times.

I've tried to hold rational conversations with you over this issue but you are so hell bent on sounding like a pompous a$$ that it's really not worth it...

Perhaps you could draw upon the fine legacy that the pilots from your airline are famous for and show a little more maturity and professionalism in your posts, as most of us do, rather than trying to sound like King Kong with a hard on. Good day sir, 73

The trouble I'm having with the above statement is that it's very well known that the peanut gallery at Union meetings would break out into chants of "staple them." Hard to believe that all of this ill will to the TWA pilots (and for that matter, any other labor group at TWA) was behind the closed doors of a union office. At the very least, could you provide a list of people who called their APA reps and suggested a fair integration (ratio, DOH, or third party administered)? I believe that list to be very, very short and perhaps now you'll see why people get emotional about this.

The information czars at AMR and APA were so good at spinning what the Ozark deal really was--Date of Hire with fences. The TWA pilots would have gladly accepted that. So if it was so heinous, why wasn't it offered?

Those hurt most were those who were Captains at TWA--Rik's seniority--and were labelled "illegitimate" by the APA. They've lost $150,000 a year since their furlough. Think about the life adjustment---$150,000 to $0 in the course of one year. I can't even fathom what that would be like....could you?

As it's been said before in this business, YOU are the Union. Complaining about things happening or not happening is easy to do until you realize that your compatriots are running the union. Blaming it on those who "negotiated it all behind your back" is as good as saying, "Yeah, but I didn't think the gun was loaded."

AA73, I'll apologize if we tend to rant about this. Until there is closure with ALPA (and any luck APA/AMR) it'll be considered an open wound to many of us. Until then realize that "natives" are going to attract darts from many of the TWA crowd....namely the many on the street.


stlflyguy

 

[Ben Franklin]

I knew the flight could land on time if I went for it, so I cut across the median and grabbed Runway F, which was down for routine maintenance.

This is the realism that I crave from the boards.

Sincerely,

B. Franklin

 

[Rik717pilot]

aa73;

stlflyguy hit the nail on the head. It cost me a house and around $3.5M in the screw job from APA/AMR/ALPA. There were at least three suicides, over 100 divorces and over 200 individual chapter 11's among the TWA pilots alone. Throw in the FA's and all the others and what AMR/APA/ALPA/TWU/APFA did was heinous. Don Carty lied his AA$$ off to congress. Duane Woerth sold out the TWA pilots and we have to work at Wal-Mart as greeters 'til we're 85 to make ends meet since we can't afford to retire. This in the course so guys hired at AMR/AA before 4/10/01 could retain seniority over guys like myself who have been flying since 1963? Excuse me. I got my FE ticket on the 707 at AA academy as part of my college curriculum in 4/73. I should be senior to YOU. Ratio's, fences etc., would be understandable, a boning was not! Yes in the recent past we have had cordial exchanges on this forum and I would hope they will continue, but what AMR/APA/ALPA did to us is never going to be forgotten nor forgiven.

 

[RoyalAviation1]

wow. As a young pilot under 30, this kinda stuff scares the &%$@ outta me. I can't begin to imagine what you TWA guys have gone through. Not that it makes any difference, but you've got my respect.

 

[AA767AV8TOR]

aa73;

stlflyguy hit the nail on the head. It cost me a house and around $3.5M in the screw job from APA/AMR/ALPA. There were at least three suicides, over 100 divorces and over 200 individual chapter 11's among the TWA pilots alone. .

Rik717pilot,

Not like we can talk rationally about this, but what do you think would have happened if AMR never bought TWA in the first place. Yeah, I know, you think T-Way would have been the biggest airline in the world by now, but about 99% of all the creditable analysts think TWA would have died a quick death after 9/11.

There were former T-Way pilots in my 1991 new hire class that saw the writing on the wall and were bailing your esteemed former airline for AA. It was a well known fact throughout the industry in the late 80’s and 90’s that TWA was a shell of its former self. Truth be told, it was very risky and a roll of the dice to stay at T-Way. In the late 90’s when all the other legacies were making money by the boat load, TWA in fact was losing money.

Though I feel for your situation, there are other aviation jobs out there. Southwest, JetBlue, FedEx, and UPS have continued to hire the last few years. Moreover, don’t think that the former T-way guys have a cornerstone on suffering. Even the guys still on the list have had to go through massive pay cuts, backflow, and stagnation which in turn have led to divorces and loss of homes.

Though you and other continue on this board continue your vicious thrashing on how badly you were steamrolled by the natives, even the judge ruled against you in your lawsuit against AMR, APA, and Supp CC. I had ten years on the property and still lost over 600 numbers in the seniority integration. I guess the judge, along with the financial analysts, was also involved in the mass conspiracy against T-Way. I hope you find some satisfaction with your lawsuit against ALPA.

AA767AV8TOR

 

[Rik717pilot]

AA767AV8TOR; You need to remember that it was the APA that started the lawsuit against the TWA pilots. It evolved into what it is today due to the stall and delay tactics of AMR, APA and ALPA. I think TWA would have actually survived 9/11 due to our lower costs and quite possibly thrived. Look at AirTran, They reaped a hugh wind fall from the federal save the airlines fund and TWA would have as well. As far as going to another airline, I was a captain at TWA and at the ripe old age of fifty, there really wasn't an attractive alternative to go to.

 

[stlflyguy]

Rik717pilot,

Not like we can talk rationally about this, but what do you think would have happened if AMR never bought TWA in the first place. Yeah, I know, you think T-Way would have been the biggest airline in the world by now, but about 99% of all the creditable analysts think TWA would have died a quick death after 9/11.

There were former T-Way pilots in my 1991 new hire class that saw the writing on the wall and were bailing your esteemed former airline for AA. It was a well known fact throughout the industry in the late 80’s and 90’s that TWA was a shell of its former self. Truth be told, it was very risky and a roll of the dice to stay at T-Way. In the late 90’s when all the other legacies were making money by the boat load, TWA in fact was losing money.

Though I feel for your situation, there are other aviation jobs out there. Southwest, JetBlue, FedEx, and UPS have continued to hire the last few years. Moreover, don’t think that the former T-way guys have a cornerstone on suffering. Even the guys still on the list have had to go through massive pay cuts, backflow, and stagnation which in turn have led to divorces and loss of homes.

Though you and other continue on this board continue your vicious thrashing on how badly you were steamrolled by the natives, even the judge ruled against you in your lawsuit against AMR, APA, and Supp CC. I had ten years on the property and still lost over 600 numbers in the seniority integration. I guess the judge, along with the financial analysts, was also involved in the mass conspiracy against T-Way. I hope you find some satisfaction with your lawsuit against ALPA.

AA767AV8TOR

TWA had been closer to closing it's doors with less money in the bank long before AMR had come along. The airline had managed to survive just fine. Funny, the Fed Govt gave AMR plenty of money after 9/11 for the TWA route system that was still full sized.

You lost six hundred numbers but gained well over 100 aircraft. Nicely done.

You should have lost well over 1000 numbers and your net now is probably somewhere around a loss of only 400 numbers, assuming you were hired in 1991. You directly prospered from the TWA retirements while many former TWA Captains hit the street. Yeah, your 600 numbers is saddening.

Guess what? The suit against ALPA WILL bring AMR and APA back into the fold.

I can't wait for your spin on that.

AMF,

stlflyguy

 

[aa73]

STLFlyguy and Rik,

I bear no ill will toward your pilot group. I had a lot of friends at TWA from having attended Parks in the 90s. I respect the contribution of the TWA pilots to our pilot group.

But, Rik717, I fail to see why you should be senior to me just because you learned to fly in 1963.... you got your FE rating at our academy in '73... you hired on at TWA in '90. Nowhere do I see that you got ever got hired at AA. I did. I busted my a$$ to get a job here. I studied for the interview, made connections, went through the interview, and got hired through my own sweat and hard work. As such, my union OWES me job protection, don't you think? Wouldn't you expect that had you been in my shoes? If Airtran buys another carrier, wouldn't you want the NPA to protect your job? I think you would.

STLFyguy - your question is, why didn't we lobby against the integration. Very simply, during ANY merger/acquisition, the pilot groups are removed from the negotiating process during the integration. Would you care to ask a SWA pilot why he didn't lobby the SWAPA to prevent a full staple of Morris pilots? Simple, it doesn't matter. 1,000 of us could have lobbied the APA - but regardless of what we do, the APA leadership will do what they want. It won't change a thing. Even if we have the APA president removed, someone else will take his place and do whatever the BOD desires. Do you understand how removed we are?

Once again - I know I will always take flak from TWAers for life... but you guys have to understand that, even though a lot of us don't necessarily agree with the APA/APFA's actions, we could not do anything to influence them. So when you guys want to rant, make sure you rant at the right parties. When you say "AA pilots are a$$holes because of what they did," you are misdirecting your anger. You never heard a "Staple" peep from me, because I don't agree with stapling - never have, never will.

Finally, please know that I have nothing but respect for most TWA pilots because I knew a lot of that family. But I also have a right to correct some of you when you direct your anger at me - when I was not involved in any of the process.

Cheers,
73

 

[Dangerkitty]

Funny, the Fed Govt gave AMR plenty of money after 9/11 for the TWA route system that was still full sized.

When did AMR get money from the Federal Government? I dont seem to recall them get anything from the feds.

 

[stlflyguy]

From the house.gov website:


In September 2001, Congress passed the Air Transportation Safety and System Stabilization Act, which authorized payments of up to $5 billion in pretax cash assistance to reimburse air carriers for losses incurred as a direct result of the 4-day government shut-down of air traffic and incremental losses stemming from the terrorist attacks and also authorized up to $10 billion in loan guarantees to help airlines gain emergency access to capital. DOT distributed $4.6 billion in cash to 427 passenger and cargo air carriers and the ATSB approved seven of the 16 applications for a total of $1.6 billion of the $10 billion made available under the loan guarantee program.

stlflyguy

 

[Dangerkitty]

From the house.gov website:


In September 2001, Congress passed the Air Transportation Safety and System Stabilization Act, which authorized payments of up to $5 billion in pretax cash assistance to reimburse air carriers for losses incurred as a direct result of the 4-day government shut-down of air traffic and incremental losses stemming from the terrorist attacks and also authorized up to $10 billion in loan guarantees to help airlines gain emergency access to capital. DOT distributed $4.6 billion in cash to 427 passenger and cargo air carriers and the ATSB approved seven of the 16 applications for a total of $1.6 billion of the $10 billion made available under the loan guarantee program.

stlflyguy

Wow, I totally forgot about that.

 

[Rik717pilot]

aa73,

You seem to be one of the reasonable guys in pewter and blue.

The reference to seniority concerning my attendance at the acadamy in '73 was to point out that seniority is twistable in many varied ways. AA wouldn't even talk to me about a job even though I had just gotten the 707 FE ticket using their procedures and machinery and also had the commercial, multi, instrument, etc. I too busted my butt to get the certificates, time and experience and college education, but due to circumstances and the industry's cyclical nature, I wasn't in the "pool" until '88 and finally got to the big show in mid'89. Remeber that ALPA conspired with APA and AMR to get the APA guys back on the dues roster at ALPA by sacrificing the TWA guys senioirity; we have Duane Woerthe, on tape, admitting this. Carty lied to the US congress, promising a fair and equitable integration. What we got was a screw job. What the APA guys got was a windfall of furlough fodder.

Do I want to see ALPA die? Yes. Do I hold a grudge against you personaly? No. Do I want a BIG chunk of change for professional losses and my pain and suffering (and yes all the TWA people had a lot of pain and suffering) from ALPA? Yes. Do I hope that the judge orders a more fair and equitable integration revisitation? Absolutely!

 

[FlyUnited]

Until the fat lady sings, no airline is dead. I thought we learned that last year with US Airways. TWA could have had a turn around exactly like that over at US and could be the one riding high stock prices now. You just don't know.

 

[aa73]

Remeber that ALPA conspired with APA and AMR to get the APA guys back on the dues roster at ALPA by sacrificing the TWA guys senioirity; we have Duane Woerthe, on tape, admitting this. Carty lied to the US congress, promising a fair and equitable integration. What we got was a screw job. What the APA guys got was a windfall of furlough fodder.

Rik, there is absolutely no doubt that ALPA was courting us, and as such is vulnerable to a HUGE "DFR" lawsuit from you guys. And Carty was a moron for "admitting" himself into the hornet's nest. But there's one thing you have to realize, and it's this. This integration was designed to benefit everyone on the property in the event that AMR was to grow and prosper. Had we grown and prospered, there would have been no furloughing, and everyone would have been content with their career expectations. Obviously that didn't happen due to 9/11, and the result is that you guys blame the unions for the consequences. But had there been good times after the merger, you guys would have been quite happy with the outcome. You would have probably stayed a CA. Am I right?

How can I say that? Once again, for the umpteenth time, one has to look no further than the SWA/Morris deal, where Morris guys were all tacked on to the bottom, with one year probation. Most if not all Morris pilots are now CAs at SWA - even though they were stapled! So, if good times wouldn't have been right around the corner, and Morris guys had remained at stagnant levles - or even layed off, maybe? - you would have been hearing about their "screw job."

So what we have here is a psychological mind set. If the newly merged airline prospers, the newly merged employees are quite happy - regardless of the integration. (SWA-Morris, DAL-Western, etc.) If the newly merged airline downsizes, the newly merged employees are ticked off and say they've been screwed.

Do I want to see ALPA die? Yes. Do I hold a grudge against you personaly? No. Do I want a BIG chunk of change for professional losses and my pain and suffering (and yes all the TWA people had a lot of pain and suffering) from ALPA? Yes. Do I hope that the judge orders a more fair and equitable integration revisitation? Absolutely!

This is understandable, and what I would want had I been in your shoes.

regards,
73

 

[stlflyguy]

Take it one step further. Ask the former People's Express pilots what the Continental pilots wanted to give them.

An arbitrator shot that one down, stating something to the effect of "the career expectations of the pilots are not to be linked to the bankruptcy of the company." (Remember, I paraphrased that...)

The CAL list was later reshuffled.

When the court hears of the RLA violations you could bet there'd be a good possibility of a second look at the seniority list. Or AMR/APA/ALPA could duke it out as to who's to cover the damages for those violations.

stlflyguy

 

[aa73]

Stlflyguy,

I'm not debating on whether a staple job is fair or not - it's not. I'm just pointing out that the same exaxt integration in two different mergers can be viewed as a great thing or a screw job - the financial health of the new company determines which.

Now I'm going to take TC's advice and back away from this subject for good. I have enjoyed rationally debatig this subject with you fine folks, but we're probably never going to get anywhere. You all be safe out there and see ya on the radio!

73