Top 10 items on Fighter Pilot Checklist

[DaveGriffin]

I thought you fighter pilots may get a kick out of this David Letterman Top 10 list.

Top Ten Items On A Fighter Pilot's Checklist

10. "Shoo the raccoons out of the cockpit"
(Major Damon "Gump" Reynolds)

9. "Run system check on the onboard computer's Tetris game"
(Captain Craig "Bluto" Baker)

8. "Listen carefully to jet flight attendant's safety instructions"
(Major David "Redneck" Greene)

7. "Affix EZ Pass tag to the canopy with super-strong adhesive"
(Major Jeannie "Tally" Flynn)

6. "Make sure 'Top Gun' soundtrack is in CD player"
(Major Steve "Dawg" Kennel)

5. "Try to get upgraded to first class"
(Major Kirk "Krokus" Johnson)

4. "Set cockpit heads-up display to correct coordinates (just messing with ya -- I made that one up)"
(Major Sam "Spam" Milam)

3. "Flip through complimentary copy of 'Fighter Pilot' magazine"
(Major Jim "Yogi" McElhenney)

2. "Scrub off graffiti spray-painted on the aircraft by local punks"
(Major Drew "Baker" English)

1. "If it's a nice day then put the top down, dude"
(Captain Juras "Drag" Jansons)

 

[Draginass]

It's hard to believe that Air Force Officers would embarass themselves so badly on national TV by this sophmoric and witless attempt at humor.

 

[AlbieF15]

Do you think these folks "wanted" to go on TV and do these? More than likely, this was a MAJCOM or WING level PA project. Once the snowball starts, saying "no thanks...this is GAY" isn't really an option.

One of the TOP 10 readers is an F15E patch wearer and was a FAC with me in Desert Storm. When they were air assaulting into Iraq with the 101st airborne, one of his enlisted ETACs who had been having some "emotional" problems froze up and wouldn't get off the helicopter. (Most ETACs were awesome...this guy was an exception). This FAC drew his 9mm and told him he MIGHT get killed by Iraqis, but if he didn't get off the helicopter he WOULD get shot right there. 100% true story....guy got out and did his job fine after that "slap up side the head". Trust me...this guy is a WARRIOR, and I seriously doubt he had any interest in being a "talking cranium" on TV...especially when the list was so stupid.

 

[DaveGriffin]

It's hard to believe that Air Force Officers would embarass themselves so badly on national TV by this sophmoric and witless attempt at humor.

I was wondering why there were no Naval Aviators quoted. I guess they refused.
Fly Navy

 

[ExAF]

Most likely they couldn't count to ten!

 

[F-16Guy]

No Option

AlbieF15 has it correct. 57WG was directed by ACC/PA to participate. Only a few of us successfully dodged the bullet. There was no option.

 

[XNav]

Albie,
I'll spot you the steely eyed FAC, but the two on the list that I know are both DORKS.

 

[CCDiscoB]

I know someone on the top ten list. Shocking!

Actually, I don't get most of them. "Listen to jet flight attendant..." "Shoo the raccoons out of the cockpit" Were those supposed to be funny?

Why is it when the AF tries to go Hollywood they fail miserably? (Top Gun vs. Iron Eagle)

Hey Albie, I heard a good story about a certain Greek restaurant and a rather large credit card bill.

 

[Huck]

What about The Right Stuff?

 

[CCDiscoB]

True, the Right stuff was excellent. Was that AF or NASA?