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Three News Reporters and the Marine

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falcon20driver

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2003
Posts
533
Three News Reporters and the Marine.........




News Anchor Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and

a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured

by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.





The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?"



Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."



Peter Jennings said "I am Canadian; so I'd like to hear the English National Anthem one last time". The leader nodded to a terrorist who studied the United States and knew the music was the same as to 'God Bless America'.

He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the music. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe some day someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."



The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine." "What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.! So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"!

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you three assholes call ME the aggressor?"
 
As a professor of mine used to say:

"Ignorance knows no shame"

You fool.

Wait, wait....what was I thinking? I've seen the light. I get it now: Let's get rid of independent media and depend entirely on the military to tell us what is going on. Everything should be fair and balanced then, right?
 
Cardenal said:
Wait, wait....what was I thinking? I've seen the light. I get it now: Let's get rid of independent media and depend entirely on the military to tell us what is going on. Everything should be fair and balanced then, right?

What the heck are you talking about? It's a joke, that means it's funny first, high-level commentary second. Aside from that, you actually believe everything you hear on TV? Any report is going to have inaccuracies, and commentary sometimes veiled, occupies an increasing portion of the air time. When was the last time a lay reporter got all the facts straight and drew the proper conclusions about an aviation story? That's right, never. It's always "the pilot did not file a flight plan." You honestly think that it's different when it comes to any other topic?
 
Cardenal said:
As a professor of mine used to say:

"Ignorance knows no shame"

You fool.

Wait, wait....what was I thinking? I've seen the light. I get it now: Let's get rid of independent media and depend entirely on the military to tell us what is going on. Everything should be fair and balanced then, right?
That seemed a little uncalled for....
 
What made it funny to me was that it hit so close to the truth.


I think what made Cardenal so unhappy was that it hit so close to the truth.
 
sqwkvfr said:
That seemed a little uncalled for....

Heh heh....even I would have to agree with that.

Long day, got extended at the end, missed my last flight home by a couple of minutes. Pissed off, with a headache and hungry. Not a good combination for a sense of humor.

I take it back. I am fed, rested, in no discernable pain, and it is a beautiful day. So, my sense of humor is back.

bye
 

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