Things I Hate About Flying the Line

[molson247]

Just living the dream

 

[belchfire]

(Thinking about grandpa, reading his logbook, knowing I have twice as many hours as he did when WWII ended, yet I'm 1/10th the pilot and instructor he was...)

- Knowing I have to stop my Cutty/Soda/Twist libations soon to remain legal for my trip tomorrow. I'd rather just toast his passing until I myself have passed into P38 flying somnolence...

Condolences my friend...

I get home tomorrow where there are a few cigars and a dram or two of Laphroaig. We are lucky to know men the likes of which you speak.

A few moments of reflection are good for the soul...


As for flying the line...

RJ Jumpseats! I swear, one of those old Nazi war criminals designed them for the ERJ!

-I'll second the TSA...in other parts of the world pilots are still treated with respect by those carrying out security detail. Unlike the good old US of A where we are treated like part of the problem!

I can't believe that people are going to work for the wages being offered out there...not to mention that there are even fewer mainline jobs out there to progress to-and more regional pilots to fill the few that come open...

Ah yes, Hotel Power coupled with Parker logbook pen...a winning combination!

Of course there are also Holiday Power (resulting in speeds just over minimum clean speed to maximize pay), BBQ Power, Miller Power, Tequillia Power and Naughty Power...

 

[ApocketA's_145]

YUM overnight

PSP....121 deg.
YUM....118 deg.
BFL.....120 deg.
SGU.....105 deg.
LAS......116 deg.
.......with bad packs

Ugly FA's with no mute button

Stupid people handing you their car keys in front of the hotel

Waiting 45 min. for van at LAX

Hotels that don't bake cookies

Stupid people standing in front of the Baggage claim sign...asking you how to get to Baggage claim

The super cool business man who watches you preflight and asks you if you are "winding up" the props

Same guy asks if this "little guy" has to "flap it's wings" to fly

AA gate agents that say they don't have enough time to list you for the jumpseat...you'll have to call...which NEVER works....and in the 1:34 seconds you take to explain that nicely...they could have listed you

757 jumpseat

MD80 jumpseat

T_____
S_____
A_____ lets see some creative responses here


The regional pilot coch-walk,you cool badarses..jesus...you guys are so entertaining...maybe this belongs on the other list....maybe it deserves it's own thread...TBD...you're not cool...you're just chilly..and chilly ain't never been cool.

Crews that are too cool to wave, nod, smile.

4 day trip with Captain Obvious

...who recites the start cycle EVERY time..."fuel flow,rotation, T6"....uke:

....and takes 10 minutes to explaing his fuel decision every leg and calculating it because....you know..he's just babysitting me.

.....and starts quizzing you about approaches as you are hand flying the approach at LAX with GS out

.....and takes his time bringing up the power in an EMB 120 for taxi because of dangerous "breakaway thrust"

.....and quotes Top Gun with a super cool pilot voice

i'm sure there's more....

W

sounds like you need to find a new job. Id still take all of that over 5 days a week working 9-5 in a cubicle with Bill Lumburgh looking over my shoulder and fighting the rush hour traffic home everynight at 5pm. Think about it that way my friend....

 

[Dubya]

sounds like you need to find a new job. Id still take all of that over 5 days a week working 9-5 in a cubicle with Bill Lumburgh looking over my shoulder and fighting the rush hour traffic home everynight at 5pm. Think about it that way my friend....

Dude...once again...i'm having fun with the topic to challenge the other topic..have a laugh..it's humor....jesus...i hope you people pay better attention during your walkarounds.

W

 

[N311HK]

Make sure you use that answer on your interview for next job. Let me know how it works. If you like women, beer, flying and keep an open mind your life will be a lot better

 

[acaTerry]

acaTerry? Just like the other thread...having fun with a topic. Have a laugh. Heck have two. I bet you are blast in the cockpit. Is that you Captain Obvious?

Maybe you can tell me how to calculate fuel...I bet you are good at it. That whole pounds to gallons thing is a head scratcher.

Oh...and let me make sure I understand you correctly...you believe it is his JOB to quiz me WHILE i'm hand flying the approach? Furthermore...it's a Checkairman's job to quiz me...not Captain Obvious.

W

MAybe I came on a bit strong. I was being facetious. No offense meant there, its just my way. Sorry.

 

[Dubya]

Make sure you use that answer on your interview for next job. Let me know how it works. If you like women, beer, flying and keep an open mind your life will be a lot better

Good God. I'm not going to explain my motives for this thread again. Did someone set off an anti humor device of some kind in the atmosphere?

N311HK...laugh dude..seriously...it's looking in the mirror of our daily lives and laughing at it.

So...just to set the record straight here for all those with chemical imbalances...I enjoy my work...I look forward to seeing my co-workers...well all except Captain Obvious...so instead of trying to give me life advice...see some humor and add to the list...sheesh.

W

 

[indianboy7]

Good God. I'm not going to explain my motives for this thread again. Did someone set off an anti humor device of some kind in the atmosphere?

N311HK...laugh dude..seriously...it's looking in the mirror of our daily lives and laughing at it.

So...just to set the record straight here for all those with chemical imbalances...I enjoy my work...I look forward to seeing my co-workers...well all except Captain Obvious...so instead of trying to give me life advice...see some humor and add to the list...sheesh.

W

I think I've flown with the Captain and F/A you speak of..........as for the bad packs, if I ever fly with you and the cockpit is above 25C, I'm gonna kick you square in the berries...and then show you how to make the F/A bitch all day about the plane being too cold......practice young one...practice....imp:

 

[Dubya]

I think I've flown with the Captain and F/A you speak of..........as for the bad packs, if I ever fly with you and the cockpit is above 25C, I'm gonna kick you square in the berries...and then show you how to make the F/A bitch all day about the plane being too cold......practice young one...practice....imp:

#1...young one? I'm pushin' four score.

B...if you kick me in the berries...make sure I don't get back up:uzi:

#3...i'd much rather have a quiet FA than one that beetches

W

 

[Bluto]

Did someone set off an anti humor device of some kind in the atmosphere?

N311HK...laugh dude..seriously...

Um, the only anti-humor device I saw was, in fact, your post. Sorry to be the one to point it out, but I flew the airplane you fly, probably with the same crews, and to the same airports and there were volumes of stuff more funny than what you wrote. All you really did was whine, and that's not funny.

Here's a little clue, next time you want to tell a joke, if it's really funny, you won't have to TELL PEOPLE TO LAUGH.

Love and kisses,
Captain Obvious
p.s. That little indian boy (little, ha!) can work the packs like nobody's bidness (or could when he was an FO), you should listen to him.