turpentyine
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2003
- Posts
- 119
got this from another messageboard
funny stuff
"Might’ve been posted before, but anyways, here it goes…
LETTER FROM A RETIRED AIRLINE PILOT TO HIS PEERS:
Might’ve been posted before, but anyways, here it goes…
Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for the romance
and adventure of airline flying. That "Romance and Adventure" will all come back
to you if you follow the steps of this "practice trip" at home:
1. Stay out of bed all night.
2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours
facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.
3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within
hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails,
do the appropriate restart checklist.
4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright
spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating
flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.
5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.
6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam
the door frequently.
7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside
the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to
leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.
8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your
sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating
the wait for the crew car.
9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand
outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while
the maid makes up the hotel room.
10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just
say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places." as you
collapse into bed.
11. If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, and
do this two nights in a row.
Hope you enjoy your sim session."
funny stuff
"Might’ve been posted before, but anyways, here it goes…
LETTER FROM A RETIRED AIRLINE PILOT TO HIS PEERS:
Might’ve been posted before, but anyways, here it goes…
Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for the romance
and adventure of airline flying. That "Romance and Adventure" will all come back
to you if you follow the steps of this "practice trip" at home:
1. Stay out of bed all night.
2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours
facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.
3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within
hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails,
do the appropriate restart checklist.
4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright
spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating
flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.
5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.
6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam
the door frequently.
7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside
the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to
leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.
8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your
sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating
the wait for the crew car.
9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand
outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while
the maid makes up the hotel room.
10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just
say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places." as you
collapse into bed.
11. If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, and
do this two nights in a row.
Hope you enjoy your sim session."
