The "New Board"

zugzug

I have a member
Joined
Jun 10, 2002
Posts
89
Total Time
2680
Now,
I need another Alternate, I want Tuesday off, Why is my pay screwed up again!!!, I want more fuel, the flight attendants are fighting, where is my release? This isn't the crew meal I ordered, The hotel van hasn't showed up and you need to pay for a cab! Gosh, this feels like your at work doesn't it.
I want my mommy!!!!!
 

propsarebest

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Posts
1,559
Total Time
....
Dont forget....

I want outta this swap, the coffee maker is broke, the FO is just a baby, is there anything on this plane that isn't writen up? Can this guy actually jumpseat? It's too early in the morning, its too late, i have 9 legs today, the autopilot is broke- you mean i have to handfly this thing?

etc. etc. etc.
 

405

Well-known member
Joined
May 12, 2004
Posts
804
Total Time
A lot.
and...

I left my hat/laptop/keys/coat/shoes/sunglasses on aircraft X. Can you see where it's going right now and send the crew an ACARS message for me?

Top three actual phone calls I've taken before:

3. "Why don't we get breakfast at the hotel anymore?"

2. "Why is the flag backwards on the right side of the plane?"

1. From a brand new FO - "Do my pants need to be cuffed?"

Fun stuff. I'm glad to see we have our own little spot on FI now.
 

exactlywrong

Paper Pusher
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Posts
34
Total Time
9 yrs
hahahaha this ones great ..

"Whats the burn for my takeoff alternate"
 

rvsm410

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Posts
690
Total Time
1
Well Good evening folks.....Glad our Web master granted our wish to have our own place in space.....I am real hopeful we can all have a good time here and keep things as professional as possible.....
 

787

Well-known member
Joined
May 23, 2005
Posts
81
Total Time
.5taxi
Here's a good one from the rookie deicing questions file.

"Can we go with just type 4? Last time it took .5 hr for the rampers to type I us...GOOOSH!
 

propsarebest

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Posts
1,559
Total Time
....
exactlywrong said:
hahahaha this ones great ..

"Whats the burn for my takeoff alternate"


That's CLASSIC!!!

or how about...

The TAF says broken 2000, I think u forgot to put an alternate on...
 

exactlywrong

Paper Pusher
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Posts
34
Total Time
9 yrs
Wow! 5 threads 25 posts and nobody's bltching about pay/scope/unions/LOA's/bottomfeeders/PFT's/J4J's or lowering the bar. I love this!!! my RVR's P6000 right about now.
 

Markm1811

you did what Capt ??
Joined
Jan 30, 2004
Posts
80
Total Time
102hrs
Or my fav..

I was watching the weatherchannel in the hotel. hows it look on your screen !!!

Can you give me the weather for XYZ. Err capt you are not going anywhere near these.. Yes but I wanted to see what the weather was like as I go there after my overnight tonight !!

Heard on Sun AM at.........

" My capt told me to call you we need an alternate. Why its 10sm and few110. Yes but my capt doesnt believe the TAF as he got caught the other day and had to delay waiting for an alternate.. Let me get this right ... ( still not sure if it was a joke on him or not !)

Midnight Brit
Coming to you on ACARS 4 nights a week.
 

exactlywrong

Paper Pusher
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Posts
34
Total Time
9 yrs
Uh, dispatch were holding over FAK on our way to LGA and ATC just gave us an EFC of 60min from now and ehhhh ... nevermind were cleared.
 

exactlywrong

Paper Pusher
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Posts
34
Total Time
9 yrs
Capt: Dispatch, were not flying into MCO! Not in that! ... it's covered in one big convective sigmet. Were not allowed to fly through those.

Disp: Convective Sigmets are advisories that we keep close watch on but we dispatch to the forecast and being that I see about 10 B717's on my ASD going straight through it I'd say were ok ... So it's just a sigmet of your imagination.
 
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Pedro

Not too happy...
Joined
Mar 3, 2005
Posts
401
Total Time
$$$$$$
Man you guys complain waaay too much!!!! ;)



















Just kidding, my hat's off to you guys, thanks for doing a great job!
 

Bart Simpson

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2004
Posts
116
Total Time
23 hrs
Here is one of my fav's:
FO calls and says he's got a question about their alternate.
I tell him that I don't talk to FO's and he needs to tell his CA to call me back. Click.
(This one landed a honorable mention in a recurrent and new hire class of things not to do with the recording to prove it).BTW, the CA and I got a kick out of it.
Here's another one:
CA calls about his MEL:
"On the release it says that we have one pack inop but its actually our number two pack that is not working so can we go ahead and amend the release?"
Stunned silence as I pull up the release to see who it is I am talking to.
I don't remember the rest of the conversation but it too made it into above mentioned honor list and my boss and I had a serious talk about cussing on the phone.
 
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