While obviously I haven't really been 'around the block' yet, I think I've started to notice some patterns.
I think the top things that make a pilot aren't really 'skills,' but rather personality traits.
The first one is that the person tends to step up and take charge of a situation, rather than be meek and go along with the flow. The prime example I have of this is something that was not serious at all, but it illustrates my point very well. I was riding along with a friend of mine on a navigation exercise, and during the run-up he noticed that a piece of equipment was not working. When he discovered that, he sat there with a sheepish look, and I jokingly prodded him "come on, it's PIC time. What do you do?" Then he reached for the POH and started flipping through the equipment list. With a sigh, I reminded him that even if the item was not required, it still had to be deactivated and placarded for the flight to be legal, which is something he knew. So it's either play dumb and go, or play by the Good Book and not go. And then here's the kicker... he hesitated some more and went on the radio to ask the club MX officer (who was also in the runup) what to do! Now... come on, dude. If somebody can't make a decision for such a leisurly, non-critical situation on the ground imagine the cluster that's gonna develop with a more serious situation when the clock's ticking.
The second trait is to always have the big picture in sight, and not miss the forest for the trees. I've got a couple of stories for this one. I was right-seating on a navigation exercise, where the pilot plots a course over several checkpoints, does all that fun Private Pilot prep type nav log stuff, and then flies it. So we get over a checkpoint, turn to our next segment, and the pilot remarks about how even if he sets his DG meticulously, and then holds his planned heading, he's heading in a direction that feels wrong. Now, keep in mind this is all a VFR exercise. I show him how his course line is drawn straight over a lake, and there's the like right there, just fly to the lake, easy cheesy. He still has his head buried in the DG stuff and is mumbling about WCAs, deviation, precession, blah blah blah. Again, I show him the line on the lake, just fly to the lake... SIMPLE! This went back and forth several times until he saw the forest.
Or the time I was riding in the back of one of my friends doing a complex checkout for another one. He fails the engine abeam the numbers at TPA, and you can probably already see where this is going. The guy-getting-checked-out buries his head in the cockpit doing checklists, and by the time he's done, his closest landing spot to the runway is half a mile short. Deal with the important stuff first! If something's gonna lead you to un-make a made landing spot, it's just trees.
Or later, when he was on the ground about to take off again. (remember, this is in a light single, and at a really busy airport.) "Takeoff checklist complete, line-up checklist.. err, wait, I will do the lineup checklist once I'm on the runway." HUH?
Ohh, and this one really got me pissed off at the rote memorization BS. This guy had just come over from a big flight school in Florida, and I welcomed him by taking him up for his first taildragger flight and familiarizing him with the local area. So we were just leisurly playing around with the airplane, doing slow flight, little stalls, deep stalls, etc. all power off. Just completely casually playing around, and feeling the airplane. All of the sudden he pipes up with this mantra that had been hammered into his head... "remember, don't forget you have to add power when executing a stall recovery." Yes, that's true if you're flying a checkride or are in a real-life accidental stall, but that is comletely not the case here... do you see what I'm talking about?
All that being said, I am not casting stones here. I myself have done things stemming from both the good and bad ends of the spectrum in the above traits. But, without being hypocritical, it's still important to analyze the traits and qualities that make a good pilot, and looking at ourselves as well as others. I think this is an excellent question that hopefully turns into an equally excellent discussion, and bravo to 777-2H7 for starting it. I'd love to hear from you guys that have been around the block if you think I'm going wrong somewhere.
Here's something that ties in all that I said together. There is a girl in my aviation dept. with a really frail personality. She has talked about how she got her private back home, but did not feel comfortable or confident at all, and had at least one episode of freaking out, screaming, and letting go of the controls. Now, it has been a really long time since she has flown and she barely remembers anything. Even then, she was not confident when soloing. She wants to become a professional pilot, but is seriously questioning her chosen career field because she does not have the personality to take command of a situation, and she has trouble learning. Keep in mind, all of these are things SHE herself has said, at one time or anther. (As a side note, she is an excellent school student, it's the pilot stuff that she says is too complex for her.) During one of these discussions, in an attempt to be encouraging sooth-sayers, one of the guys started talking about how there's not a thing to worry about, dear, as everything in flying is procedural, and "there's checklists for everything." As an examle, if your engine quits, 1. You pitch for best glide airspeed. 2. Find the best landing field. 3. Go through your checklists. While, on one level, that of course is true, it COMPLETELY misses the point she was trying to make! Did you catch it? When you're dealing with an emergency, you need to have the right stuff and be in charge of yourself and the airplane, while executing all the "procedures!" NOT "it's OK, there's procedures for everything, so it's all taken care of." Now, between the above parties, who do you think sees the big picture?
P.S. A hugely disproportionate number of my friends and acquaintances from the aviation dept. drive manual transmissions.