strange passenger requests

[TangoIndiaMike]

Strange PAX Requests...

How about the FO starts chatting up how much he loves his pet cat to all the passengers...

 

[osy007]

True story, no lie !!!

Had another co-pilot mentioned to the pax that the cabin was like a dutch oven.

I don't think he knew what actual " dutch oven" was.

 

[AnimalMother]

Did you make them

Not only did he make them, he volunteered to take the place of the sheep.

 

[AnimalMother]

I am guessing if he builds flight simulator profiles that he does NOT know what you mean...

LOL. YOu owe me for a new monitor. I just spit my beer all over it.

 

[thunderworm]

had a px ask to charge his cell phone while flying. we have an outlet for such things. and every five min ask for it back and then to charge it again for about 2 hrs. it was really annoying but what else do we have to do. also had a px as not to turn so sharp because it hurt hear ears. wtf that means. the return for left whatever happens all the time. the real question is what do you do when you are already late because they showed up late and there is another flight right after you drop them off and they are already late now as well and will be really late if you go back for there sweater.

 

[taters]

Angalina Jolie asked me to pet her kitty if you know what I mean!!!

You mean casualy stroke the soft folds of her moist vagina?

 

[Fly91]

Hi,

I'm in a bit of a slow period at work, so as a hobby I've taken up building missions for Microsoft's Flight Simulator X...

I'm about done with my first (just needs to be voiced), but my next one I want to divert from the navigation/systems failure/flying generally thrust of most of the missions out there and focus on the human factor..

Specifically, in my next mission, the player will be cast as a new-hire private jet captain. His first flight will be a flight from Santa Monica, to [somewhere] and during that flight his passenger will make a bunch of requests- for example, at the start the passenger will demand that the player not fly the noise abatement departure procedure. If the player agrees to all the demands, he fails- the flight will have been unsafe. If he denys all of them, he'll fail (be fired)- some will have been reasonable.

SO...

My question is, what requests have passengers made to you that were strange? Which did you comply with? Which could you not comply with?

I realize that most people who own or charter private aircraft are probably pretty reasonable. And certainly someone who owns or charters a jet should have the air conditioning set how they like it, etc.. And MSFS does not provide options for doing laundry or washing the plane. I'm looking more for things that would change the path of the flight.

Thanks,
-TF

(I fly pallets and boxes around myself- if they start to make requests I'm going to run to the National Enquirer, not make a FSX mission out of it. And while I do have my own stories, I kind of want to run with this while the idea is still fresh...)

Back in 2000 I flew for a charter company that had the WWF wrestling contract to fly their wrestlers around. In short, they're all kind of low-rent people. We would pick them up at Peachtree in Atlanta and fly them to wherever their shows were, wait till the show was over and fly them back. Their only requests on the way out were 2 cases of beer and a bunch of Subway sandwiches. But when we got to where the shows were to drop them off they would always ask us to get some marijuana if we could and hookers, for the flight back. They asked every time, like we would finally do it, idiots.

 

[Fly91]

True story, no lie !!!

Had another co-pilot mentioned to the pax that the cabin was like a dutch oven.

I don't think he knew what actual " dutch oven" was.

I had one of those clueless co-pilots once. After we dropped a customer and his family off in TEB, and a customer who was obviously pretty sharp and understood what a dead leg is. He asked the co-pilot if we were just heading back to Florida....the co-pilot said, "no, we're staying here overnight to try to fill the dead leg home". LOL

 

[Amish RakeFight]

During cruise in CAVU, your passenger walks up front, gets friendly and convinces you to have a few drinks, which you do. Not smart of course, but after you've had say XX amount of drinks you encounter some weather, divert and shoot the approach at an alternate. Be sure to pause the simulator during this passenger engagement as the "sim pilot" actually drinks up a few and then gets back on that plastic yoke and rudder set up.

Once mastered, insert mary jane instead of the booze and repeat.

 

[hawkerjet]

Had a female first time flyer who asked me when she showed up if we had any brown colored airplanes we could use on the trip. Taken aback, I replied we did not. She then frowned and boarded the aircraft. I was not quick witted enough to infuse a UPS reference......

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

had a px ask to charge his cell phone while flying. we have an outlet for such things. and every five min ask for it back and then to charge it again for about 2 hrs. it was really annoying but what else do we have to do. also had a px as not to turn so sharp because it hurt hear ears. wtf that means. the return for left whatever happens all the time. the real question is what do you do when you are already late because they showed up late and there is another flight right after you drop them off and they are already late now as well and will be really late if you go back for there sweater.

What the f*ck did you just say?

 

[CA1900]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPHuE5pDlEs

:laugh:

 

[thunderworm]

What the f*ck did you just say?

exactly

 

[osy007]

What the f*ck did you just say?

late sweater cellphone turn ears hurt charge more for 2 and ask again later if late already makes more late...

I got it...yeah yeah true..

Its better to be later than their late because it makes your later better than their late for that reason.
I've had very less laters than their laters thank god.
Tell them to be more late than your late next time.

Nobody will be off pissed that way.

 

[bailey3083]

How about the pax start smoking the reefer in the back and you start to smell it. What do you do?

Been there done that! The lead Pax even offered us a few hits and couldnt understand why we had masks and and were descending some 600 miles before the destination.
Had another pax who was so afraid of weather that a flight from ALB to IND took 2.5 hours. We ended going over towards MSP then down towards Springfield, IL then to IND to stay away from weather.
Had a pax who wanted to get into Hailey,ID so bad that he offered each of us a grand to bust mins.
Worse PVT pilot pax who with 150 hours of total time felt he knew more about the jet then I did and demanded I release the controls to him because he could fly the jet better then I could any day.

Now here is some one who has to get a life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po-5XSed9_s

 

[say again]

What the f*ck did you just say?

hahaha. Even after reading it several times, I still couldn't decipher what this is supposed to say.

 

[osy007]

had a px ask to charge his cell phone while flying.

Pax establishes verbal communication with pilot and requests to have cell phone charged



we have an outlet for such things.

They have an outlet for such things that require 110 V AC.

and every five min ask for it back and then to charge it again for about 2 hrs.

Apparently, a time warp occurs when pax charges cellphone. For every 5 mins, a 2 hour time warp occurs where the cellphone is charged.


it was really annoying but what else do we have to do.

HMMM......How about fly a plane?

Mathmatical question...
John doe flies a plane for 3 hours and has pax charge cell phone every 5 mins for 2 hours. How long was the cellphone charged?

Answer: 72 hours



also had a px as not to turn so sharp because it hurt hear ears. wtf that means.

No sir....What do you mean???

the return for left whatever happens all the time.

Again, said pilot still dazed from charging said cellphone for 72 hours has become incomprehensible.


the real question is what do you do when you are already late because they showed up late and there is another flight right after you drop them off and they are already late now as well and will be really late if you go back for there sweater.


Who's on first? Was the sweater later before the return when showing up. Or, was it dropped off before becoming late when the pax were later?

Apparently, said pilot has confused us all and will not reply so that we may understand, fully, what he meant.

 

[thunderworm]

this is awsome. i didn't think people actually read what others post.

as to the cellphone. he would have us charge it and then ask for it back five min later. after using it for a couple of mins he would ask us to charge it again. this cycle went on for 2 hours. and no we didn't have anything else to do since the plane is on autopilot and we are over the water for 6 hours on HF so all you need to do is call in the reports every half an hour or so. basically having him always ask for his phone back kept us from getting our naps in.

asking not to turn or bank the plane sharply because it hurt her ears. i still haven't figured that one out.

the other on about retuning for somone's sweater after you have departed late. doing this would make you even later inot your destination where you are supposed to pick up another pax who he himself would have been late even if you didn't go back for the other pax's sweater, so if you where to go back for the aformentioned sweater it would cause the flight to be delayed that much longer causing the second pax to arrive at their destination much later thatn original lateness not to mention how much much later than scheduled. causing his girlfriend to worry and call his phone which he mistakenly left at homeand then the wife answers and is all who is this andd the girlfrien is like who is this and then the wife says " ah hell no i axed you who this is. i am his mother f ing wife and you better not call here again and keep you skank a$$ away from my husband or i will cut you" resulting in a divorce and her getting half of what he owns no longer affording him the luxury to ride on you jet. if you do this enough the copmany could fold and you would loose your job.

so you see it is a really impotant scenario.

 

[nkt369]

I had a passenger (who is a non-current pilot) request that we fly around every cloud (rather than go through them) because his wife didn't like not being able to see the ground.

 

[say again]

had a passenger who wanted us to close the windows in the back (yes, he actually thought we left open a few windows) because it was a little "drafty" from the vents that were all open.