Something FUNNY about UAL

[Extra300S]

The Inheritance

An old man inherited a little over $1 billion dollars. He had three sons.
He told his sons that since he now had all this money, he would like to
know what each of them would like to have. He stressed that MONEY was no
object.

His first son said that he had always wanted a Jaguar. His father went
out, and since money was no object, bought him 7 Jaguars in different colors,
so that he would have a different one to drive every day of the week.

His second son said that he always wanted a motorcycle. So his father went
out, and again since money was no object, bought him 30 new motorcycles:
10 dirt bikes, 10 Hogs, and 10 touring bikes, so he would have a different
bike to ride every day of the month.

His third and youngest son was only 8 years old, and the little guy said
that he just wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit. So, money being no object, his
father went out .........................and bought his son United Airlines.

 

[Auto-throttle]

yet another pilot

who was turned down by UAL

 

[RightBettor]

AAAHHHH HAAA HAAAA HAAA HAAA!!!! AHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

OH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!! That's just so..... fu fu fu funny!!!!! Whew!!

No really, that was, um, you know, like.... funny. I mean it too.

 

[Ty Webb]

Re: yet another pilot

who was turned down by UAL

Sorry, but your post is much funnier than the original post. Why?

Because you perpetuate the same BS that has taken what was once the premier US carrier into the sh!tter.

"Criticism of UAL? Hey, nothing wrong here. You must have been turned down by us for a job.

Now, that's funny stuff. As one of this boards' biggest UAL skeptics, I don;t think there is a rat's ass chance in hell that you guys will survive a bankruptcy, not with the idiots you have at the helm, that's for sure.

Because UAL employees still don't seem to get it- the fact that if you don;t make money by October (fat chance, indeed) you are out of the bankruptcy business, and I don;t mean in a good way, either.

Good luck, but luck alone ain't gonna do it here, folks.

 

[Big Duke Six]

You hit it Ty

That joke was funny, and the defense by Auto was funny too, but on the pathetic side. Their continued arrogance will never cease to astound me....
Duke

 

[Extra300S]

Re: yet another pilot

who was turned down by UAL

I am/was/forever will be a UAL pilot. I just posted this joke to pass along some humor, for THOSE of us who fly for UAL this joke makes sense.

Don't know how the "turned down by UAL" came across but as one who was FURLOUGHED in July 2003 and hired by another 121 carrier flying Boeings.... I have had the opportunity to see that we are ALL PILOTS UAL or jetBlue, or ATA it really makes no difference.

The Joke refers to the UAL Managment.

Thought that maybe SOME of us who do not get along ALL get a CHUCKLE out of it....ie...LIGHTEN UP!

Now, WHERE IS THAT HAPPY FACE???

 

[Auto-throttle]

Ty Webb,

So would you feel a lot better if UAL not make it?

There seems to be a strong resentment towards UAL, would you like to share (the reason) it with all of us?

 

[Mugs]

Of course Ty would like to see UAL fail. In the dog eat dog world of airline competition, that is just the way it is. No reason to take it personally. One thing about us pilots is whether we want to adimit it or not, the plight of others in the industry really is of no concern if our own situation will improve as a result. History has proven that over and over. That is what Ty is looking at given the failure of a major competitor and the accelerated growth he would be looking at as a result.

So, why not beat up on UAL on this board as often as possible?
I must be arrogant by association so I guess I deserve it. In the mean time, we will just have to see how Ty's predictions pan out. So far, he and others on this board have had to extend the timeframe for UAL's demise. I should have been pouring coffee at Starbuck's months ago from what I have read here. Time will tell.

 

[Conquest Driver]

History Lesson?

The effects of UAL going down the drain are really an unknown, at least to me. I wonder if it would really make the current job market worse?

If UAL failed their would be a vacum to fill. Would all the companies taking over old UAL routes grow enough to offset all the 8 to 9,000 more pilots on the street? Would the contract carriers now in bed with UAL be able to find other people to contract to, or in ACA's case make a go of it as an independent and not fulough a large amount of people?

Having not been in this industry for very long I would like to know what happened when Pan Am, Braniff, and Eastern entered into chapter 7 from a pilot's perspective. Did the market get any better or worse? Did the other carriers start to make money and bring back their furloughs or start to hire so the numbers offset each other? Nobody started hiring at the majors until the mid 90s as far as I know.

Just questions, not trying to flame anyone.

 

[beech1900kid]

This whole discussion is like beating a dead horse, but I must respond to autothrottle and the likes. The question you asked about the resentment towards UAL shows how much you and many other UAL employees live in a vacuum. I am not going to give the reasons why because it's just going to cause all kinds of emotion on both sides. Although, I am sure many UAL express employees like myself got a good laugh from reading your comments. Why is there resentment towards UAL?......that really is a good one.



(If you must know, give yourself a history lesson and do some research)


P.S. By the way, I do want UAL to make it since my job pretty much depends on it!

 

[B1900DFO]

I imagine the "resentment" towards ual has quite a bit to do with jealousy. Reminds me of the situation at Us Airways. Most wholly owned pilots absolutely despise Mesa pilots because they are working for poverty wages and, in effect, dragging down the industry. On the other hand many of them can't stand the greedy mainline "pigs" because they had the b#lls to fight for good wages. It looks like many of the UAL express pilots don't like the mainline guys because they make a good living and soon they will join the anti-mesa bandwagon once they see their old flying sent to the lowest bidder. It would be comical if it wasn't so tragic....

 

[UpNDownGuy]

Beech1900FO-

No, everything in aviation is not about Mesa...I don't know if you are simply trying to put it in terms you can understand, but it ended up being kinda funny. One minute it's a discussion about United, and the next it's Mesa.

As far as the resentment of United (and some United pilots), I can understand the reason. It has absolutely nothing to do with jealosy concerning your pay and/or working conditions. I am extremely happy with where I work, and wouldn't even consider jumping to United's ship. However, I can honestly say, (with no attempt to spark a big "get United" discussion), that virtually without exception EVERY negative jumpseat experience I have had in my 20+ years in the airlines involved a United pilot. Whether I was jumpseating, or they were....if it was a bad experience, there was a United pilot involved.

At my last company it had become an epidemic. I had to restrain my FO in one instance. A United Captain walked into my cockpit, sat down, informed me that I was taking him to LAS, and picked up my logbook and began reviewing it. I can't count the times that a United pilot walked into First Class, put their bag in the overhead, and sat down without the courtesy of even introducing themselves, let alone showing some ID. I asked one United FO to see his pilot's license. He immediately began a non-stop whine fest, starting with "I haven't had to take out my license in 10 years"....

Let me add that I don't have any hostile feelings towards UAL at all. I have many friends who work there, and wish them only the best. The case can also be made that with 10,000 pilots, even a small percentage of jerks makes a large number. What offsets that in my mind, however, is Southwest. I have NEVER had the slightest problem from any Southwest pilot, whether they were jumping on me or vice versa. Either way, I have always been treated with respect and utter professionalism. I can no more imagine a Southwest pilot behaving inappropiately than I can imagine my mother dancing at a strip club. It is simply beyond the realm of possibility....

Which leads me to my theory: I think that every airline has it's own culture, that the pilot group perpetuates. At some, it's acceptable to act in a certain manner, which at a different airline would be unthinkable. Perhaps some adjutments need to be made in some of the groups.

 

[Mugs]

Every pilot group has its stand outs. At a regional I worked at one such stand out selected reverse just prior to parking a turboprop as a newby female ramp worker was doing the marshalling. As she was clearing the dust and debris out of her eyes, he asked her how she liked the b-j. This guy and his antics wound up at Southwest shortly thereafter. I wouldn't be surprised if he was one of the guys that was out flying naked recently.

I think that sitting here and claiming that one group is better or worse than another is ridiculous. The bottom line is if they can't be respectable and follow the rules when they jumpseat, toss them off the airplane regardless of who they work for.

 

[skykid]

Okay, so somebody who we don't even know works for United (most of auto-throttles post activity is about whether AWA is hiring) makes a comment and now all United pilots are arrogant. I'm following that completely.

Mugs, I have to disagree with you. I'm as competitive as it gets in almost all aspects. I can't imagine wanting to see somebody else or another company or organization fail so I would be better off. I'm not saying if you express your opinion on one of these stupid threads you are wishing bad things on somebody else. But if in your heart you want somebody else to fail, you are a sad human being. There aren't many people like that. Gordon Bethune is one.

Extra300S, I thought your joke was a yawner. Here is something funny about United - apparently the ad in the Denver Post yesterday about the GO-GO-StAY deal with Hilton gave a 1-800 number to call that didn't go to the reservation center. It was one digit off - to a phone sex line. I've got it number three in my speed dial.

 

[Extra300S]

<Extra300S, I thought your joke was a yawner. Here is something funny about United - apparently the ad in the Denver Post yesterday about the GO-GO-StAY deal with Hilton gave a 1-800 number to call that didn't go to the reservation center. It was one digit off - to a phone sex line. I've got it number three in my speed dial>


Is it a good sex line? At least the average business guy will get a "RISE" out of it?

After all UAL was "Rising"

Keep the BLue side up Skykid,

Extra....

 

[KLJ]

Look in the Mirror, Auto-throttle

"There seems to be a strong resentment towards UAL, would you like to share (the reason) it with all of us?"

Auto-throttle,

The "resentment" you feel is not directed at UAL in general; it is directly targeted at jerks like you ... and that's the nicest way I can put it.

 

[B1900DFO]

UPNDOWNGUY-

No, I was not trying to turn this into a thread about Mesa. I was merely drawing a comparison with my own experience within the US Airways system. It was always interesting to me that many pilots at pdt,alg,psa would bitch about the "greedy" mainline pilots bankrupting the company and then go on to bitch about mesa pilots working for poverty wages. Obviously a hypocritical stance to take and I must admit that I have bitched about contract carriers working for cheap when my wages are nowhere near those of the mainline pilots whose routes I fly.

I have noticed many times how pilots tend to harbour ill will towards those above them on the food chain as well as those below them. Much of the anit-ual remarks from ual express drivers reminds me of what I hear constantly within the US Airways express system. I would still argue that much of it (obviously not in your case) has to do with simple jealousy.

As for your jumpseat experience I think the fact that you had to actually restrain your FO (what was he going to do?!) says quite a bit about the professionalism of your FO as well. Obviously the Ual captain was a jerk but the reaction of your FO says something about the culture at your airline. I would argue that if I walked into a SWA cockpit tommorrow and made a complete assh#le out of myself they would probably just politely refuse my request and wonder who pissed in my coffee that day. I can't imagine anything that i might say or do would require the captain to restrain the FO.

 

[CU@OSHKOSH]

SGT. Hulka

"Lighten up Francis".

Can't a guy tell a joke?

 

[Auto-throttle]

Remember

how nice you guys were when standing by the UAL cockpit door begging for a ride home.

be nice now.

Ty Webb, isn't there anything better to do on your days off than to make hundreds of internet postings???

And yes, we're all so very impressed with your desire to beat up a passenger on one of your flights.

You'll make a GREAT captain one day, just hope I won't be a paying passenger with you at the controls

Ciao !

 

[UpNDownGuy]

BeechFO-

I should have been more detailed in my previous message. I neglected to mention the fact that while the UAL Captain in question was poring over our logbook, he had:

1) Explained in great detail how he was "the youngest 747-400 Captain ever";

2) How he was going to bid to the 777 "just to set another record";

3) Insulted our Flight Attendents, calling them "not real bright" and "bitchy";

4) Made references to our (mine and the FO's) "poverty wages";

5) Made a tactless remark about my FO's accent, which he mistakenly took for Australian (he's British).

The First Officer in question is without a doubt one of the most professional. well-prepared and disciplined pilot I have ever flown with in any cockpit. What he was going to do was pick the offending weasel up by the scruff of his neck and remove him from the aircraft (and he's quite big enough to do it easily). The reason I stopped him is that it would have been more trouble than it's worth. I think Mugs's reply speaks volumes. I assume he is a United pilot, because that is the typical reaction I would expect. It is also the response I would expect from their pilot group.

I think you are correct in your assesment of a Southwest crews's reaction though. You wouldn't get that same reaction from many airlines. By the way, in case I've given the wrong impresision, I don't work for Southwest, nor do I wish to work there. I merely hold them up as an example of what all pilots should act like.