blueridge71
Outlasted two companies
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2003
- Posts
- 2,261
This was sent to me by a FA friend and I thought I'd pass it along.
So you want to be a flight attendant, I had to post this thought it was a riot.
Some of this applies to pilots as well.
1. Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army
sergeant might have worn. Add
a white shirt and a tie. Wear the same outfit for three consecutive
days.
2. Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours.
Pretend you are standing by
for them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the
next day and do the same thing again.
3. Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and
place them on the top shelf
of a closet. Slam the door shut until the boxes fit. Do this until
you feel a disk slip in your back.
4. Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is
plenty of static. Turn on the
vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.
5. Remove the covers from several TV entrees. Place them in a hot
oven. Leave the food in the
oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your
bare hands. Serve to your
family. Don't include anything for yourself.
6. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their
meal. Make them remain
in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and
complain about the service.
7. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat two hours
later when you're really hungry.
8. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use
a belt to strap yourself into it.
Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.
9. Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible.
Tell them to make splashing
water a game and see who can leave the most disgusting mess. Clean
the bathroom every hour throughout the night.
10. Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and
randomly scatter your husband's wing-tips and loafers along the way.
Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down
the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and
tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep
yourself awake.
11. Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a cold
sweet roll. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they
leave for work and school.
12. After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out in the yard.
If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkling system and stand in the
cold for 30 minutes pretending like you're waiting for the crew
bus to pick you up. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for
another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.
13. Change into street clothes and shop for five hours. Pick up carry-
out food from a local deli.
Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm for 3
a.m. so you'll be ready
for your wake-up call.
14. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be
ready to work your first trip.
Several years ago, on a flight out of Denver, my flying partner was
half-buried in a cart trying to rescue the last few entrees from a
meal cart. A passenger asked her what she was doing. Without removing
her head from the carrier, she responded: "I'm looking for the
glamour in this job."
So you want to be a flight attendant, I had to post this thought it was a riot.
Some of this applies to pilots as well.
1. Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army
sergeant might have worn. Add
a white shirt and a tie. Wear the same outfit for three consecutive
days.
2. Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours.
Pretend you are standing by
for them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the
next day and do the same thing again.
3. Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and
place them on the top shelf
of a closet. Slam the door shut until the boxes fit. Do this until
you feel a disk slip in your back.
4. Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is
plenty of static. Turn on the
vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.
5. Remove the covers from several TV entrees. Place them in a hot
oven. Leave the food in the
oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your
bare hands. Serve to your
family. Don't include anything for yourself.
6. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their
meal. Make them remain
in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and
complain about the service.
7. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat two hours
later when you're really hungry.
8. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use
a belt to strap yourself into it.
Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.
9. Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible.
Tell them to make splashing
water a game and see who can leave the most disgusting mess. Clean
the bathroom every hour throughout the night.
10. Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and
randomly scatter your husband's wing-tips and loafers along the way.
Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down
the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and
tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep
yourself awake.
11. Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a cold
sweet roll. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they
leave for work and school.
12. After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out in the yard.
If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkling system and stand in the
cold for 30 minutes pretending like you're waiting for the crew
bus to pick you up. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for
another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.
13. Change into street clothes and shop for five hours. Pick up carry-
out food from a local deli.
Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm for 3
a.m. so you'll be ready
for your wake-up call.
14. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be
ready to work your first trip.
Several years ago, on a flight out of Denver, my flying partner was
half-buried in a cart trying to rescue the last few entrees from a
meal cart. A passenger asked her what she was doing. Without removing
her head from the carrier, she responded: "I'm looking for the
glamour in this job."
