canyonblue
Everyone loves Southwest
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
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Chris Woodyard is a business travel writer for USA TODAY and writes this column for USATODAY.com Travel every other week.
Have you heard the one about the airline, the economy and new gimmicks?
Song, Delta's new low-fare subsidiary, is hoping funny flight attendants and free seatback TV will lure travelers.
Hoping so much, in fact, that Song set up a training institute of sorts at a Disney World hotel to teach their flight attendants how to serve up humor with the soft drinks and sandwiches.
Being funny is the new wave. More leisure travelers are flying these days, and vacationers like the lighter approach on an airline like Song. As America has become a more informal nation, airlines haven't really kept pace.
I recently spent the afternoon with about 30 sky comedians in training. They were getting ready for the airline's launch on April 15 with flights between New York JFK and West Palm Beach, Fla. Here's what passes for airline humor:
"We no longer have pillows but you can buy one," said Britt Taylor, a flight attendant from Dallas during an exercise. "Your own clean pillow. No one else touched it — no long hairs on it. After the flight, just push it down and roll it up. It goes right in your bag."
Stop, you're killing me.
In fairness, being funny is hard work. And this group was taking its first try at it, winging it without a script.
For experts, all they need to do is go to Southwest — which, not so coincidently — is Song's biggest rival, along with the hipper JetBlue. I crossed the country on Southwest recently and both sets of flight attendants gave funny spiels over the public address system. One kept a running gag in which he would page "cosmetics, line one" or "produce, line two" over the intercom. It became a little tiresome. The guy seated next to me looked annoyed. But hey, it's Southwest and funny flight attendants are, in essence, the entertainment system.
Song is spending millions — it won't say exactly how much, but its overall investment in the new carrier is $65 million — for its own in-flight entertainment system — live television, on-demand movies, MP3 digital audio — in an attempt to best JetBlue. But the system won't be installed until October at the earliest, so for now funny flight attendants is as good as it gets.
Just how far the laughs are allowed to go is yet to be seen. Song's boss, John Selvaggio, says he doesn't want funny public address system gags to intrude on pre-flight safety information. He doesn't want slapstick humor, necessarily, either. They'll need to strike the right balance.
"They'll know how to have fun with the customers," he says assuredly.
At this point anything would be an improvement. I took a Delta flight last year where a flight attendant threatened passengers over the intercom like they were a bunch of junior high school kids. She was downright nasty. It's one thing to chide customers for trying to unbuckle their seat belts before the plane reaches the gate. It happens on seemingly every flight. But it's quite another thing to scream at passengers over the intercom.
I have to admit, however, the tongue lashing worked. Passengers froze in fear. But I think some may have had second thoughts about flying Delta again.
A moody flight attendant can spoil your trip and your day. What's the wellspring of their anger? Could be that they simply feel ignored by their airlines. Or it could be they are upset by the layoffs, threat of layoffs and general doldrums in which the industry finds itself.
All I know is that passengers deserve better. Can Song deliver? It will be interesting to see if they can make a difference.
Have you heard the one about the airline, the economy and new gimmicks?
Song, Delta's new low-fare subsidiary, is hoping funny flight attendants and free seatback TV will lure travelers.
Hoping so much, in fact, that Song set up a training institute of sorts at a Disney World hotel to teach their flight attendants how to serve up humor with the soft drinks and sandwiches.
Being funny is the new wave. More leisure travelers are flying these days, and vacationers like the lighter approach on an airline like Song. As America has become a more informal nation, airlines haven't really kept pace.
I recently spent the afternoon with about 30 sky comedians in training. They were getting ready for the airline's launch on April 15 with flights between New York JFK and West Palm Beach, Fla. Here's what passes for airline humor:
"We no longer have pillows but you can buy one," said Britt Taylor, a flight attendant from Dallas during an exercise. "Your own clean pillow. No one else touched it — no long hairs on it. After the flight, just push it down and roll it up. It goes right in your bag."
Stop, you're killing me.
In fairness, being funny is hard work. And this group was taking its first try at it, winging it without a script.
For experts, all they need to do is go to Southwest — which, not so coincidently — is Song's biggest rival, along with the hipper JetBlue. I crossed the country on Southwest recently and both sets of flight attendants gave funny spiels over the public address system. One kept a running gag in which he would page "cosmetics, line one" or "produce, line two" over the intercom. It became a little tiresome. The guy seated next to me looked annoyed. But hey, it's Southwest and funny flight attendants are, in essence, the entertainment system.
Song is spending millions — it won't say exactly how much, but its overall investment in the new carrier is $65 million — for its own in-flight entertainment system — live television, on-demand movies, MP3 digital audio — in an attempt to best JetBlue. But the system won't be installed until October at the earliest, so for now funny flight attendants is as good as it gets.
Just how far the laughs are allowed to go is yet to be seen. Song's boss, John Selvaggio, says he doesn't want funny public address system gags to intrude on pre-flight safety information. He doesn't want slapstick humor, necessarily, either. They'll need to strike the right balance.
"They'll know how to have fun with the customers," he says assuredly.
At this point anything would be an improvement. I took a Delta flight last year where a flight attendant threatened passengers over the intercom like they were a bunch of junior high school kids. She was downright nasty. It's one thing to chide customers for trying to unbuckle their seat belts before the plane reaches the gate. It happens on seemingly every flight. But it's quite another thing to scream at passengers over the intercom.
I have to admit, however, the tongue lashing worked. Passengers froze in fear. But I think some may have had second thoughts about flying Delta again.
A moody flight attendant can spoil your trip and your day. What's the wellspring of their anger? Could be that they simply feel ignored by their airlines. Or it could be they are upset by the layoffs, threat of layoffs and general doldrums in which the industry finds itself.
All I know is that passengers deserve better. Can Song deliver? It will be interesting to see if they can make a difference.
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