single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."


Well-known member
Sep 16, 2003
Total Time
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ahhhh," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."


It's a celebration!
Nov 25, 2001
Total Time
"Now, I have to go back to work on my State of the Union speech. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time – never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people."

Oops, sorry! This news is 7 years old as well...


Activity Terminated
Sep 13, 2004
Total Time
A quick little fighter jet was trailing a large, slow, 4-engine airplane. The little jet repeatedly circled around the heavy iron, taunting him over the radio. "I can do anything you can do..... na na na na". Finally, the pilot of the heavy ship transmitted: "Oh yeah, I bet you can't do this". After several minuets of the heavy ship continuing on uneventfully, the fighter finally radioed: "Well, what are you going to do"??? The heavy iron replied: "I already did it, I just shut off 2 of my engines".


Well-known member
Dec 21, 2001
Total Time
air_chompers said:
quick question, what is the difference between a level C sim and a level D sim?

Simulator Requirements

1. Representative crosswind and three-dimensional windshear dynamics based on airplane related data.

2. Representative stopping and directional control forces for at least the following runway conditions based on airplane related data:

a. Dry.

b. Wet.

c. Icy.

d. Patchy wet.

e. Patchy icy.

f. Wet on rubber residue in touchdown zone.

3. Representative brake and tire failure dynamics (including antiskid) and decreased brake efficiency due to high brake temperatures based on airplane related data.

4. A motion system which provides motion cues equal to or better than those provided by a six-axis freedom of motion system.

5. Operational principal navigation systems, including electronic flight instrument systems, INS, and OMEGA, if applicable.

6. Means for quickly and effectively testing simulator programing and hardware.

7. Expanded simulator computer capacity, accuracy, resolution, and dynamic response to meet Level C demands. Resolution equivalent to that of at least a 32-bit word length computer is required for critical aerodynamic programs.

8. Timely permanent update of simulator hardware and programing subsequent to airplane modification.

9. Sound of precipitation and significant airplane noises perceptible to the pilot during normal operations and the sound of a crash when the simulator is landed in excess of landing gear limitations.

10. Aircraft control feel dynamics shall duplicate the airplane simulated. This shall be determined by comparing a recording of the control feel dynamics of the simulator to airplane measurements in the takeoff, cruise, and landing configuration.

11. Relative responses of the motion system, visual system, and cockpit instruments shall be coupled closely to provide integrated sensory cues. These systems shall respond to abrupt pitch, roll, and yaw inputs at the pilot's position within 150 milliseconds of the time, but not before the time, when the airplane would respond under the same conditions. Visual scene changes from steady state disturbance shall not occur before the resultant motion onset but within the system dynamic response tolerance of 150 milliseconds. The test to determine compliance with these requirements shall include simultaneously recording the analog output from the pilot's control column and rudders, the output from an accelerometer attached to the motion system platform located at an acceptable location near the pilots' seats, the output signal to the visual system display (including visual system analog delays), and the output signal to the pilot's attitude indicator or an equivalent test approved by the Administrator. The test results in a comparison of a recording of the simulator's response to actual airplane response data in the takeoff, cruise, and landing configuration.

Visual Requirements

1. Dusk and night visual scenes with at least three specific airport representations, including a capability of at least 10 levels of occulting, general terrain characteristics, and significant landmarks.

2. Radio navigation aids properly oriented to the airport runway layout.

3. Test procedures to quickly confirm visual system color, RVR, focus, intensity, level horizon, and attitude as compared to the simulator attitude indicator.

4. For the approach and landing phase of flight, at and below an altitude of 2,000 feet height above the airport (HAA) and within a radius of 10 miles from the airport, weather representations including the following:

a. Variable cloud density.

b. Partial obscuration of ground scenes; that is, the effect of a scattered to broken cloud deck.

c. Gradual break out.

d. Patchy fog.

e. The effect of fog on airport lighting.

f. Category II and III weather conditions.

5. Continuous minimum visual field of view of 75° horizontal and 30° vertical per pilot seat. Visual gaps shall occur only as they would in the airplane simulated or as required by visual system hardware. Both pilot seat visual systems shall be able to be operated simultaneously. 6. Capability to present ground and air hazards such as another airplane crossing the active runway or converging airborne traffic.


Simulator Requirements

1. Characteristic buffet motions that result from operation of the airplane (for example, high-speed buffet, extended landing gear, flaps, nose-wheel scuffing, stall) which can be sensed at the flight deck. The simulator must be programed and instrumented in such a manner that the characteristic buffet modes can be measured and compared to airplane data. Airplane data are also required to define flight deck motions when the airplane is subjected to atmospheric disturbances such as rough air and cobblestone turbulence. General purpose disturbance models that approximate demonstrable flight test data are acceptable.

2. Aerodynamic modeling for aircraft for which an original type certificate is issued after June 1, 1980, including low-altitude, level-flight ground effect, mach effect at high altitude, effects of airframe icing, normal and reverse dynamic thrust effect on control surfaces, aero-elastic representations, and representations of nonlinearities due to side slip based on airplane flight test data provided by the manufacturer.

3. Realistic amplitude and frequency of cockpit noises and sounds, including precipitation static and engine and airframe sounds. The sounds shall be coordinated with the weather representations required in visual requirement No. 3.

4. Self-testing for simulator hardware and programing to determine compliance with Level B, C, and D simulator requirements.

5. Diagnostic analysis printout of simulator malfunctions sufficient to determine MEL compliance. These printouts shall be retained by the operator between recurring FAA simulator evaluations as part of the daily discrepancy log required under §121.407(a)(5).

Visual Requirements

1. Daylight, dusk, and night visual scenes with sufficient scene content to recognize a specific airport, the terrain, and major landmarks around that airport and to successfully accomplish a visual landing. The daylight visual scene must be part of a total daylight cockpit environment which at least represents the amount of light in the cockpit on an overcast day. For the purpose of this rule, daylight visual system is defined as a visual system capable of producing, as a minimum, full color presentations, scene content comparable in detail to that produced by 4,000 edges or 1,000 surfaces for daylight and 4,000 light points for night and dusk scenes, 6-foot lamberts of light at the pilot's eye (highlight brightness), 3-arc minutes resolution for the field of view at the pilot's eye, and a display which is free of apparent quantization and other distracting visual effects while the simulator is in motion. The simulation of cockpit ambient lighting shall be dynamically consistent with the visual scene displayed. For daylight scenes, such ambient lighting shall neither "washout" the displayed visual scene nor fall below 5-foot lamberts of light as reflected from an approach plate at knee height at the pilot's station and/or 2-foot lamberts of light as reflected from the pilot's face.

2. Visual scenes portraying representative physical relationships which are known to cause landing illusions in some pilots, including short runway, landing over water, runway gradient, visual topographic features, and rising terrain.

3. Special weather representations which include the sound, visual, and motion effects of entering light, medium, and heavy precipitation near a thunderstorm on takeoff, approach, and landings at and below an altitude of 2,000 feet HAA and within a radius of 10 miles from the airport.

4. Level C visual requirements in daylight as well as dusk and night representations.

5. Wet and, if appropriate for the operator, snow-covered runway representations, including runway lighting effects.

6. Realistic color and directionality of airport lighting.

7. Weather radar presentations in aircraft where radar information is presented on the pilot's navigation instruments. (Secs. 313, 601, 603, 604, Federal Aviation Act of 1958, as amended (49 U.S.C. 1354, 1421, 1423, 1424); sec. 6(c), Department of Transportation Act (49 U.S.C. 1655(c)))



Well-known member
Jul 19, 2005
Total Time
the other punch-line to that joke is...the heavy jet flew straight and level for 5 minutes, and then the pilot came back on the radio and said "did you see that?"
"see what? the fighter jock replied"
"I just went in the back, read the paper, had a cup of coffee, and took a -."


Where's that reserve?
Feb 18, 2003
Total Time
UnAnswerd said:
A quick little fighter jet was trailing a large, slow, 4-engine airplane. The little jet repeatedly circled around the heavy iron, taunting him over the radio. "I can do anything you can do..... na na na na". Finally, the pilot of the heavy ship transmitted: "Oh yeah, I bet you can't do this". After several minuets of the heavy ship continuing on uneventfully, the fighter finally radioed: "Well, what are you going to do"??? The heavy iron replied: "I already did it, I just shut off 2 of my engines".

In the version I heard, the heavy iron pilot comes back and says "I just went back to the lav and took a sh!t"

edited.....gutenberg beat me to it.....
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