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Republican National Convention Agenda

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My typical agenda...

Hi everyone, it's Dave! Here's how I spend my typical day.



7am - wake up
8am - tell everyone that the US Airways pilots will singlehandedly destroy an otherwise promising future at because they refuse to adjust to the economic realities and challenges facing us.
9am - tell everyone that I'm committed to staying at US Airways, and don't have any intention of leaving
10am- check the security and reliability of my Golden Parachute
11am- tell everyone that I'm committed to staying at US Airways, and don't have any intention of leaving
12pm- tell everyone that the US Airways pilots will singlehandedly destroy an otherwise promising future at because they refuse to adjust to the economic realities and challenges facing us
1pm - count my $$


buncha greedy pilots, now look what you've made me do!!!
 
The TRUTH is funny!

The DNC agenda is a total knee slapper for one simple reason:

IT IS THE TRUTH!!

You see, for humor to actually tickle the ole funny bone, an element of truth must be present. Such as the joke about the difference between a pilot and a jet engine.....the jet engine stops whining when it gets to the gate!! har de har harrr.

Terry McAuliffe IS a punk at the DNC who is watching polls and is only interested in regaining power. NOT gonna happen folks.

Ted Kennedy IS a boozer who drove a gal off a bridge and should have been convicted of vehicular manslaughter. Oh well....money and power can do wonders.

The Democratic party IS bereft of ideas, spinning out of control and moving rapidly towards minority status for a generation. They have NO agenda for America and can only bash Bush for his attempts to manage some of the biggest calamaties to face this great country in many years. Bush ain't perfect but he's done a helluva job, that's for sure.

Keep trumpetin' the truth ya'll!

Sean Plankey in East Tennessee

P.S.- Thank God for Tennessee, the state that saved the union by rejecting the "Clinton Clone from Carthage" in 2000!
 
Dave, you forgot two things:

1. Push for concessions from the pilot group, saving the company 2 million annually.

2. Award self 3 million dollar annual bonus for getting concessions from pilot group.
 
Agreed

I consider myself left of center on a fair number of things but I have to agree that the DNC agenda is much funnier and on target. If you can't laugh at yourself...
 
RNC agenda

cokie907

let's review the facts. bush is a rich son of a former president who went to yale, joined a frat, got drunk arrested for DUI, and refused to answer questions about pot or coke.

he gets a freepass on vietnam. then starts a war in the middle east, where they've been slaugherting each other for thousands of years. (afghanistan was right, irag was wrong) If irag is right, then i guess now we're ready to go get north korea, iran syria, cuba and the rest still under oppression.

let's congress get away with NOT passing better MPG ratings on vehicles and still talks about less foreign dependence on oilk.

signs every bill that comes across his desk running up a half trillion dollar deficit.

then he downplays the content of PDB dated august 6, 2001 and it mentions terroists using planes as weapons, and terrorists taking flight lessons.

oh yeah, cheney 's former buddies at halliburton try overbill the country 160 million on IRAG business.

Look, bush and his country club,lobster eatin, softspoken, backpeddlin, lying, cheatin demogogues were elected by Kathleen Harris, who's a party member(affirmed by the supreme court) and now a congresswoman.

kind of reminds me of the 'ol USSR. hey, you guys carry little red books in your pocket.

CRONY! CRONY ! CRONY ! CRONY! CRONY! CRONY!

HEY HEY!, HO HO, BUSH AND HIS BUDDIES HAVE GOT TO GO!

ANYBODY BUT BUSH! WHO'S NEXT JEB? JEB'S STILL LOOKING FOR THOSE 2000 MISSING WELCARE KIDS IN FLORIDA
 
And let's not forget Dick "Thanks for the 5 Vietnam draft deferrals -- I had other priorities at the time" Cheney.
 
Updated DNC agenda

This is a more likely agenda to the DNC convention.

OFFICIAL 2004 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL
CONVENTION PROGRAM


6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:30pm - Anti-war rally #1.

6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.

7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.

7:45pm - Anti-war rally #2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues

8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony #2.

10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:30pm - Cameo by Howard (Yeeearrrrrrrg!) Dean

10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.

11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues

11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

SPECIAL SPOUSES TOUR: VISITING AMERICA'S MOST FAMOUS BRIDGES (Tour guide and driver: Ted Kennedy)
 
Climb"un"happy,

Keep drinking that liberal koolaid.

Anybody but Bush? How about anybody but a Democrat. I took personal offense at their tactics in 2000, since I'm one of the absentee votes those commnunists tried to suppress. Aren't Democrats the champions of civil rights? I guess it doesn't matter that 1/3 of the military are minority. Since they might be conservative, we'll just squash their votes too. Prior to that, I was an Independent. Not anymore.

I may not like everything this president has done, but I'll go to my grave before voting for a democrat for any office, any time.

Best bill board I ever saw a picture of was on I-75 after leaving Georgia. It said: "Welcome to Florida, we can count. Bush-Cheney, 2000.

Catfish
 

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