Whirlwind
Fling-wing pilot
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2002
- Posts
- 356
You might be a redneck pilot if:
• Your stall warning plays Dixie.
• You get your pre-flight briefing from the Psychic Hotline.
• Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
• You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
• You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
• You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
• Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
• You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
• You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
• You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
• The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
• Your aircraft has a hitch.
• You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
• You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
• You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".
• You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
• You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
• You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
• You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
• Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
• You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
• You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
• You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
• You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
• You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
• There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
• You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
• There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
• You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
• You use your parachute to cover your plane.
• You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
• The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
• Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
• Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.
• You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"
• You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
• You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
• You use you landing light for hunting.
• Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
• You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
• There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
• The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
• Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
• When starting the prop you injure five dogs.
• Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
• You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
• When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
• You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
• You siphon Jet-A out of your King Air for your space heater.
• Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, Y'all watch this!!"
• Your stall warning plays Dixie.
• You get your pre-flight briefing from the Psychic Hotline.
• Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
• You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
• You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
• You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
• Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
• You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
• You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
• You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
• The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
• Your aircraft has a hitch.
• You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
• You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
• You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".
• You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
• You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
• You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
• You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
• Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
• You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
• You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
• You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
• You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
• You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
• There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
• You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
• There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
• You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
• You use your parachute to cover your plane.
• You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
• The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
• Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
• Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.
• You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"
• You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
• You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
• You use you landing light for hunting.
• Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
• You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
• There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
• The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
• Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
• When starting the prop you injure five dogs.
• Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
• You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
• When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
• You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
• You siphon Jet-A out of your King Air for your space heater.
• Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, Y'all watch this!!"
