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There must be some truly pissed off pilot to have the balls to do that. Gotta wonder, if the morale is so bad and widespread.. is there any hope?!
It's quite simple, really.
1) Bring empty pizza box into the restroom. Poop in the pizza box.
2) Using plastic spork, shovel poop into plastic ziploc bag. Warning: the bag will get steamy.
3) Transport bagged poop in pants pocket. Try not to get too grossed out over it's disconcerting warmth pressed up against your thigh.
See? Easy.
You guys need to change your call sign to "brown streak".
You guys need to change your call sign to "brown streak".