Profiling? (Humor!!)

[BacktoAA]

Not my original work here, but amusing if not true.


Profiling...
To ensure we Americans never offend anyone --- particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let's pause a moment and take the following test.

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and
massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbitt
(b) Sitting Bull
(c) Arnold Schwarzenegger
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Lost Norwegians
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

During the 1980s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
(a) John Dillinger
(b) The King of Sweden
(c) The Boy Scouts
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1982, the Marine barracks in Lebanon were suicide bombed by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Pee Wee Herman
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1985 the cruise ship Achilles Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a) The Smurfs
(b) Davy Jones
(c) The Little Mermaid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver was murdered by:
(a) Captain Kid
(b) Charles Lindbergh
(c) Mother Teresa
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Scooby Doo
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train job.
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
(a) Richard Simmons
(b) Grandma Moses
(c) Michael Jordan
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida
(c) Mr. Bean
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
(a) Enron
(b) The Lutheran Church
(c) The NFL
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
(a) Bonny and Clyde
(b) Captain Kangaroo
(c) Billy Graham
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.


Hmmm . . . nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling that I
can see.

 

[skeezer]

You missed one.

In 1995, the federal building in Oklahoma city was bombed killing 168 people. The bombing was commited by:

(a) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
(b) An elderly woman
(c) A bunch of rug rats
(d) A 27 year old white male who used to be in the army

I think profiling should be allowed, but we must realize that it won't solve everything. We should maintain our vigilence of security with all groups of people because weirdos come in every shape and size.

Peace out!

Skeezer

 

[pilot773]

I fail to find the humor in this now as I failed to find it the first few times it appeared here and in other forums.

Here's another question for you:
Most mass murderers, serial killers and rapists in the US are:
(a) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
(b) Out of work pilots
(c) Former priests
(d) White males

Ha ha. Funny funny.

 

[habubuaza]

I don't believe the original post was intended to be funny but to point out the absurdity and ineffective nature of the current airport screening system. And no matter how you cut it or slice it you have to profile if you want to prevent further terrorist attacks on the American people. One way or another you'll eventually get it.

 

[ksu_aviator]

As a white male...I still agree that most mass murders are white male. It doesn't bother me if police stop other white males, or me, looking for a mass murderer. If, of course, they have reason to believe that I may be comitting a crime. But of course, that is on the street. In an airport, you can forget about rights. Nobody has all of their rights in an airport, there have been plenty of posts about that topic in the past. So if the FAA wants to profile, you can't stop them. You can avoid them by driving, taking a bus, or chartering a flight. Like it or not, profiling is here, and its staying.

 

[BacktoAA]

Ok, you all got me there. I admit calling this "humor" was a poor choice of words. Thought it made a good point.

Later.

 

[Flint]

It may be funny to some and offending to others. But, every question/statement on that list is FACT. Odds are, the people who want to kill you and I and commit terrorism are
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

I'm willing to place a bet, that the next terroristic act is committed by:
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40, and not the 80 year old woman in front of you or the hot 20 year old girl behind you in the screener line.

I'm not saying that every (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 is a terrorist either.

Common sense would tell you to keep an eye on these folks. and there's nothing wrong with doing it.

 

[cherokee]

Right on Flint, BacktoAA, KSU, Habubauza. I for one love the test and find it interesting and informative. And yes, go ahead and stop me if I look like another white male murder suspect...the law enforcement officials are just doing their job. I think if profiling continues to be perceived by so many people, especially of the liberal persuasion, as the most evil thing a person can do we are only asking for more trouble and begging the enemy to use this as a shield.

 

[Orvilleflyer]

-How many white male mass murderers take out airliners.
-How many white male mass murderers take out a crowded shopping store when they detonate themselves to kindom come.
-How many white male mass murderers.................. You get it..

With the exception of Tim M, Islamic extremists do terrorists acts.

So don't take it so personally when someone posts something like these guys did. It's the truth, all of those acts were done by the Islamic extremists! Just like most of the mass murders were done by white males! The big difference here is that we are NOT strip searching old Muslim women in the grocery store in order not to offend any white males.

Don't interpret any of this as racist- It's not about someone else's skin color not being as good as your's or mine- We are all human beings. What I am saying here is that we have gone over board in the US with being politically correct and pretty soon it's going to bite us in the rear, either with another Richard Reid incident (everyone in the terminal was wondering about that guy but security let him through because they couldn't profile) or the traveling public getting tired of the anal cavity searches.

Everyone's so afraid of offending everyone else that these guys are able to slip through the cracks!! They will take advantage of our OVER politically correct system- Mark my words.

 

[waka]

How can one identify a "Muslim male extremist"? I assume you mean Middle Eastern looking males perhaps?

Richard Reid a.k.a. the "Shoe Bomber" is English/Jamaican. Would profiling middle Easterners pick him? No. It is not beyond terrorists to recruit non-middle Eastern folks, as is evident. It would be a mistake to assume that terrorists won't be more creative.

Profiling, like many of the other so-called "security measures" is simply a knee-jerk reaction. We have to impliment effective prevention and look at the cause, not the symptoms. Doing something just to appeal to everyone in an attempt to make people feel better is not effective.

Orvilleflyer, no, the original post is not "the truth". When you compare the likes of Daffy Duck or dead historical figures to terrorists, it is hardly analagous to reality.

On December 22, 2001, a Paris-to-Miami flight made an emergency landing in Boston after a passenger tried to blow up
his sneakers.The alleged bomber was
1. a middle Eastern male between 17 and 40.
2. a Samoan
3 an English/Jamaican that doesn't fit the profile to which over zealous knee-jerk reactionaries pay lip service