I am not defending captains doing stuff before it is called for. My point was more for the whining F/Os who get their feeling hurt over a captain ocasionally acting like they are in charge. News flash here folks, even in the days of CRM, captains still have the ultimate responsibility for the safety of flight. If something goes wrong, the first person the FAA (and most companies) is going to look at is the captain.
Now it is up to both pilots to practice good CRM. If the captain isn't comfortable with how the long the F/O is waiting to call for flaps, instead of just putting their hands on the flap lever, s/he should query the F/O. The F/O may have a very legitimate reason that the captain isn't aware of. Conversely if you see your captain reaching for the flap lever, instead of getting a bent out of shape and crying to flightinfo, say to the captain "I am holding off on the flaps because..."
Not that hard a concept.