I here a lot of negative things about pilots and bad relationships. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship and be a pilot. I'm getting into aviation and I worry about this. I'm not married yet, but intend to be one day. I very much want a family and a stable marriage. Anyone have any thoughts on this......please take my question seriously! Thanks in advance!!!
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Pilot Relationships???
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banned username 2
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As a Corporate Pilot I am averaging about 10-12 days a month of work, with an average of 3-4 overnights per month... We generally don't go to the same places regularly enough to for relationships...
I have been married 9 years and have a 3 year old child...
I think airline pilots typically spend more days on the road and more nights in hotels... They tend to fly to the same places and tend to spend more time hanging out at/near the hotel with the rest of the crew... Things happen...
It all depends on how committed to your relationship you are... There is definately the opportunity to wonder... What ultimately happens is up to you... There is an old joke that being a pilot gives you AIDS (Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome)... There are a LOT of divorced pilots out there, or pilots on their second or third wives...
Hope this helps...
I have been married 9 years and have a 3 year old child...
I think airline pilots typically spend more days on the road and more nights in hotels... They tend to fly to the same places and tend to spend more time hanging out at/near the hotel with the rest of the crew... Things happen...
It all depends on how committed to your relationship you are... There is definately the opportunity to wonder... What ultimately happens is up to you... There is an old joke that being a pilot gives you AIDS (Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome)... There are a LOT of divorced pilots out there, or pilots on their second or third wives...
Hope this helps...
I have been married 24 years and have 7 children ranging from ages 23 to 4 all with the same wife. Aviation is hard on families, I have a wife that loves to travel and she also is a pilot and understands aviation. She loves it when I call from Hawaii, Crete, or Kuwait and tell her about it. She has done a lot of traveling herself and it is something that we have in common. From the start I have tried to make her as independent as possible. She is the manager of the house, she homeschools all the kids,she has always had her own van, she pays all the bills, and does a fantastic job. If there is a financial decision other than the normal bills she calls and we discuss it. Marriage has its ups and downs, good times and bad times, other relationship and people are a threat to the marriage. Being seperated provides excellent oppurtunity for a quiet affair without either knowing. This possibility can destroy a marriage with distrust and problems, you have to make yourself accountable to her and her to you. You have to be honest and accept the fact that you will make mistakes, this business is full of them. As for being home half the time and gone half the time it is good. When we are home we spend a lot of time together, mywife tries to accomplish projects while she is gone and I try to study etc. on my layovers. Once you get adjusted it is not too bad. One thing that has really helped our marriage have been the cell phones, we can call each other any place and time, with the rates that are available now it is pretty cheap. The best part is that when you are home you are home for the whole day so you can just do nothing and spend time with each other. Those nice rainy days when you can sleep in till past noon are great......
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SDdriver
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I guess I agree with the others, It really depends on how good your relationship is. I do know of a couple of people who have been married a long time and been flying during the entire time, but I know a TON of others that are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage, or others that just won't even think about it after the first divorce. Aviation has been the cause of a few of my relationships ending in failure. It takes a really tough and understanding person to deal with the life of a pilot. All I can say is protect yourself and your career. It takes to long to get to the good money and planes to throw it away on a relationship that would have never worked from the begining, so be careful and make decisions that are well thought out and not clouded with lust. And most of all HAVE FUN!! Good luck.
SD
SD
skydiverdriver
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Well, it's good that you guys have wives, but what about us single guys? I thought this job would at least be interesting to women, and it is, but they always stop when they think of the time they'lle be alone. Better find someone independent. I ask all my married pilot friends how their wives handle it, and I get a different answer every time. Good luck finding one who will understand.
jackofdiamonds
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a relationship is what you put into it. My wife and I have two children and have a very strong marriage. We have our ups and downs like everybody else. Having a set schedual is a major plus. Some of our friends are divorced or seperated and they have nothing to do with aviation. As for family it is quality not quantity time that matters. Just food for thought..
Av8trxx
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"Well, it's good that you guys have wives, but what about us single guys..." Hey! What about us single girls?! 
Even though there are tons of men compared to women in aviation, I agree with Avbugs hilariously funny comment: "Don't take this the wrong way guys... but at least 70% of the commercial pilots and instructors I know couldn't get laid streaking thru downtown Tijuana with a hundred dollar bill in their mouth."
Often it's easier to date another pilot because aviation is a common bond. However, I agree it's true that it all depends on your relationship. Even though marriage was not an option for me with a former aviator boyfriend, he remains one of my closest friends and we still have a wonderful friendship. On the otherhand, the only guy I ever seriously considered marriage with got a F/A pregnant......
Even though there are tons of men compared to women in aviation, I agree with Avbugs hilariously funny comment: "Don't take this the wrong way guys... but at least 70% of the commercial pilots and instructors I know couldn't get laid streaking thru downtown Tijuana with a hundred dollar bill in their mouth."
Often it's easier to date another pilot because aviation is a common bond. However, I agree it's true that it all depends on your relationship. Even though marriage was not an option for me with a former aviator boyfriend, he remains one of my closest friends and we still have a wonderful friendship. On the otherhand, the only guy I ever seriously considered marriage with got a F/A pregnant......
bobbysamd
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Relationships
Sorry if this sounds too preachy, but a relationship is something like learning how to fly. You must begin with a solid foundation, and you begin to build that solid foundation early in the relationship.
Build a weak foundation of flight training and you will be poorly trained and probably won't be as good a pilot had your foundation been laid properly at the beginning. You have to learn it right the first time. Same with personal relationships. If two people are right for each other and forge a strong relationship and both people understand each other and know what to expect from each other from the beginning, the relationship will be able to handle any adversity.
Sorry if this sounds too preachy, but a relationship is something like learning how to fly. You must begin with a solid foundation, and you begin to build that solid foundation early in the relationship.
Build a weak foundation of flight training and you will be poorly trained and probably won't be as good a pilot had your foundation been laid properly at the beginning. You have to learn it right the first time. Same with personal relationships. If two people are right for each other and forge a strong relationship and both people understand each other and know what to expect from each other from the beginning, the relationship will be able to handle any adversity.
I just wanted to thanks all the guys and gals who took the time to throw in their .02 worth. I'm just going to go out there and have fun........besides, I'm young, smart, and goodlooking
I wish everyone the best of luck with all your future endeavors.......and all you lady pilots drop me a line! 
I wish everyone the best of luck with all your future endeavors.......and all you lady pilots drop me a line! 
Ravengirl
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Relationships
Hi Guys and Gals,
I am on my second marriage, and I'm sure that my first marriage failed in some way because of the fact that I was virtually gone for more than 1/2 of those 6 years. It is a fact of lie that being gone a lot is a part of the military.
I would also say that what a person does for a living, ie., professional pilot is not necessarily going to be a pretense to what a marriage is going to be like. I agree with an earlier comment that a good relationship is based on a solid foundation, and any obstacles can be overcome. We al have expectations going into a relationship, and I think that the biggest problems that a lot of us folks have or had is that they are sometimes unrealistic. Know what you are getting yourself into, and know the other person's expectations. If they are not in snych with your's you are in trouble no matter what your potential partner does for a living. In fact, that should be way down the list. Best of luck to you!
Regards,
ex-Navy rotorhead
Hi Guys and Gals,
I am on my second marriage, and I'm sure that my first marriage failed in some way because of the fact that I was virtually gone for more than 1/2 of those 6 years. It is a fact of lie that being gone a lot is a part of the military.
I would also say that what a person does for a living, ie., professional pilot is not necessarily going to be a pretense to what a marriage is going to be like. I agree with an earlier comment that a good relationship is based on a solid foundation, and any obstacles can be overcome. We al have expectations going into a relationship, and I think that the biggest problems that a lot of us folks have or had is that they are sometimes unrealistic. Know what you are getting yourself into, and know the other person's expectations. If they are not in snych with your's you are in trouble no matter what your potential partner does for a living. In fact, that should be way down the list. Best of luck to you!
Regards,
ex-Navy rotorhead
FearlessFreep
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Haven't any of you heard the acronym for these problems?
The clinical definition of these symtoms is
AIDS ---- Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome
In seriousness relationships have to be worked on, when you get back home after a trip make sure that you dedicate a significant amount of time to your wife or husband. That should alleviate a lot of problems. Spending quality time together is an important part of any relationship.
Let's all try to stop the spread of AIDS!
The clinical definition of these symtoms is
AIDS ---- Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome
In seriousness relationships have to be worked on, when you get back home after a trip make sure that you dedicate a significant amount of time to your wife or husband. That should alleviate a lot of problems. Spending quality time together is an important part of any relationship.
Let's all try to stop the spread of AIDS!
Does it have to involve sex? I mean, if one enters Tijuana and leaves minus a kidney, but a body cavity packed with a kilo of 2nd rate hash, does that count for anything? I'm still going with a chops full of one dollar bills, instead of a single hundred. I don't own any hundreds, and the ones can be kept to bribe border guards.
Brown field, here I come.
Brown field, here I come.
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