OTS Question (Family Considerations)

Steeler Fan

Here we go Steelers!
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Posts
635
Total Time
5000+
How much time/ how often did you get to communicate with your family/friends in BOT?

I know someone who is considering applying to OTS and is hung up on being separated from his wife for 3 months.

I'm pretty sure that taking your spouse to OTS won't work, but will be able to call via cell phone every day, or are cell phones a priveledge that you earn later on?

Any constructive info is greatly appreciated. I was ROTC and went to Field Training before cell phones were even remotely popular (yes, I'm THAT old).

Thanks
 

Frisko

Active member
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Posts
43
Total Time
5000+
Can't speak for OTS, but it seems like the AF might be tough for them also if he can't be away from the spouse for 3 months.
We could phone home from day 1 at AMS when you had time, but couldn't use a cell phone till later in the program.
 

JimNtexas

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Posts
1,590
Total Time
2000
know someone who is considering applying to OTS and is hung up on being separated from his wife for 3 months.

I'm pretty sure that taking your spouse to OTS won't work, but will be able to call via cell phone every day, or are cell phones a priveledge that you earn later on?
Gag me with a spoon!

If his marriage can't handle prolonged seperation with little or no communications between spouses, then he should not even consider applying to OTS.

Your friend has no business in the military. I'd suggest that he apply to the post office for a job a letter carrier.
 
C

CFIIer

Steeler Fan said:
How much time/ how often did you get to communicate with your family/friends in BOT?

I know someone who is considering applying to OTS and is hung up on being separated from his wife for 3 months.

I'm pretty sure that taking your spouse to OTS won't work, but will be able to call via cell phone every day, or are cell phones a priveledge that you earn later on?

Any constructive info is greatly appreciated. I was ROTC and went to Field Training before cell phones were even remotely popular (yes, I'm THAT old).

Thanks
I graduated from OTS about 3 months ago, so I've got a pretty up-to-date answer for you. The first two weeks i was there, didn't have the time to communicate with anyone. After that, you were able to make phone calls on your time, using the phones in the dorms. That time usually was at night at around 9 or 10pm. Cell phones were not allowed on the premises. That doesn't mean you couldn't keep one in your car, but then again, you weren't allowed to use it at your car either. It wasn't until you got "off-campus" or "off-base" privilges that you were able to use the cell, and that didn't happen until week 7 or 8. I was, and still am a single guy, so I can't really say what it was like for the married guys, but there were quite a few of them. My roommate even had a baby while he was in there.
It all depends on how bad you want to be an officer in the Air Force...priorities.
There were several guys who washed out/quit because they couldn't stand to be away from their family anymore. I can tell you that if your friend doesn't have the support of his wife/family to get through it, he won't finish.
It wasn't physically demanding by any means, but the mental games and lack of sleep pretty well sucked.

Any other questions, let me know
 

Steeler Fan

Here we go Steelers!
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Posts
635
Total Time
5000+
JimNtexas said:
Gag me with a spoon!

If his marriage can't handle prolonged seperation with little or no communications between spouses, then he should not even consider applying to OTS.

Your friend has no business in the military. I'd suggest that he apply to the post office for a job a letter carrier.
JimNtexas, did you go thru OTS while married? I didn't. I'm just wondering how you automatically want to steer this guy away from the AF. I think he's just trying to find out what the deal is, convey it to his wife, so collectively they can figure out if they believe that pursuing the military is what they should do. Personally, I think that's pretty smart. I entered the military when I was single, so deployments were a piece of cake. Entering the military with a family means (for some people) thinking about more than just an individual decision. I don't think that automatically means he has "no business being in the military". Personally, I think that he's being smart by getting as much info before making a decision. Thanks for the feedback, CFIIer, I think that's some good info that he can take back to his wife.
 

fastbird

Violated again?!?
Joined
Oct 1, 2003
Posts
184
Total Time
5000+
It was a long time ago when I went thru OTS. I think it was about three weeks before got to call my wife. Since then, I've been on the road and out of communication for a month.

If you can't handle being without communications for at least three weeks...THE MILITARY MAY NOT BE FOR YOU!

Emails were there only way I got to "talk" to my wife this last time I was in the desert for four months. We got two phone calls in but that because of my schedule and the time difference not meshing very well. Email can be a wonderful thing.
 

JimNtexas

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Posts
1,590
Total Time
2000
JimNtexas, did you go thru OTS while married? I didn't. I'm just wondering how you automatically want to steer this guy away from the AF. I think he's just trying to find out what the deal is, convey it to his wife, so collectively they can figure out if they believe that pursuing the military is what they should do. Personally, I think that's pretty smart.
I went through AFROTC, not OTS. I'm also glad he's asking before he signs up.

The fact of the matter is that if the thought of a few weeks of limited communications with Mom worrys him, what is going to happen to his marriage when he's sent to the sandbox for a year? How about if he goes on a training deployment to Alaska for six weeks? How about he gets a job as an ALO and goes to the field at Fort Hood three weeks to a month several times a year. Maybe he gets assigned to a C-17 and is flying all over the world all the time.

Just the tone of his question is enough to tell me that he can't stay married to his wife and also be in the Air Force.

I'd suggest he choose his wife and take up another line of work.

I'm serious about the Post Office or a civil service job. He does that, he's home every day, paid overtime, all the bennies, great retirement. Nobody shooting at him. If his priority in life is spending max time with the wife and kids that is the way to go.
 

Huggyu2

Live to fly; fly to live
Joined
Sep 14, 2004
Posts
1,187
Total Time
9000+
Agree with JimNTexas. Tell your friend to sit down with his wife and talk about whether she's willing to have him go to Korea/Baghdad by himself for a year. This could happen within 2 years after starting pilot training. It can happen more than once, too. My unit is traditionally TDY for 180 days per year, and that seems to be the norm around a lot of the USAF. They need to think this through. If the 90 trip to San Antonio is causing a gnashing of teeth, then they need to pause and reflect.
 

JimNtexas

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Posts
1,590
Total Time
2000
Assuming the individual is planning on flying training, he's signing up for an 8 to 10 year tour, give or take some.

Think of it as a 10,000 mile hike. If the first 100 yards (i.e. OTS) has him worried, then he really needs to consider if he and his family have the mental commitment to walk the 10,000 miles.
 
Last edited:

AD SUPT Hopeful

Herculean Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2002
Posts
96
Total Time
1000+
I had a similar situation where I went into OTS with a girlfriend of two years. We sat down and discussed the situation and came to an agreement that we would give the military life an honest try. Well, two months into OTS it was obvious that our relationship wouldn't survive as she really needed me to be physically with her more often.

There's nothing wrong with being "needy"; just the way some people work. However, my resolve wasn't going to be broken and we had to call it quits. Besides, I really didn't want to be with anyone high maintenance (whether I'm in the military or not), so in that regard I have OTS to thank.

At the time, it sucked; but, looking back I'm glad it worked out the way it did.
 
Top