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The amount of yaw you feel (rudder required) depends on a lot of things. The downard deflected aileron will always* generate more induced drag (adverse yaw), but this can be offset by the proverse yaw on the descending wing.
*You can actually stall your deflected aileron under certain, very specific conditions. If that happens you may feel a lot more or a lot less adverse yaw based on how it stalls. You may also feel lightening or hard-over on the stick. It's pretty hard to do this.
So, loaded or unloaded, the downardly deflected aileron will generate some adverse yaw. The opposite, downwardly moving wingtip will also generate a little more lift and little more yaw. So what you sense varies on a number of factors.
Some of these variables are average angle of attack on entry, types ailerons, how far outboard the airlerons are, maximum roll rate, wingspan, etc.
Your original understanding of adverse yaw is correct.
Your aerobatic instructor was correct for describing little to no sensed adverse yaw while the plane was unloaded.
All the technical stuff falls away as you simply do what you need to to do make the airplane do what you want.
It's actually kinda cool to see how different airplanes perform and feel through the same maneuver.
Tangent:
Did you have fun?